In quite honesty, you weren't really sure how you've kept up with the pace that everyone was in. Most importantly, you weren't sure how you kept up with your best friend – Jimmy Reardon.

Sometimes you questioned your value and friendship when it came to him. Jimmy was a liar, and hid things very well from others.

For example, your other great friend, and Jimmy's best friend –Fred Roberts– was a sweet boy. He was kind to you, and you believed Fred was a saint.

You couldn't comprehend why Fred would date such a girl like Denise Hunter! The girl was haughty and conceited – she basically walked all over Fred! She demanded so much out of him, and treated him like shit.

The worst part was that awfully dirty secret you knew, which leads you back to questioning your friendship with Jimmy. As your role as Jimmy's other best friend, you were his confidant and you knew some things you wished you had not.

Not only does it make you feel guilty to know that Jimmy has been having an affair with Denise Hunter, but it had shattered your feelings. 

It had hurt that he would sleep with her, and while Denise was gorgeous, she was not single nor was she a great person. And the guilt was overwhelming, poor Fred!

Sometimes, you had a hard time looking at Fred without resisting the urge to blurt the truth out. But as much as you wanted to, you held your tongue. The last thing you wanted was Jimmy angry at you.

But even if he wasn't sleeping with Denise, you knew you didn't have a chance. He was already dating poor Lisa Bentwright!

Lisa was a wonderful girl, and a family friend of yours. It turns out that your father was a coworker of hers, and they stayed best buds since then. In a sense, not only were you Jimmy's confidant, but you were Lisa's too.

It only made your turmoil much more harder to sustain. Lisa was a chaste girl, and you respected her for that. While you felt there nothing wrong being promiscuous – that's if the individual is single, of course –  there was nothing wrong waiting for the right person.

But the one thing you knew about Lisa and Jimmy, was that Lisa wasn't ready for sex and that made Jimmy incredibly impatient. It was a trait you didn't like about him, and you knew it bothered Lisa too. She told you last time you were at her house.

It just seemed as if Jimmy was sex crazed, and was pushy about the concept of sex to Lisa. Maybe that's why it didn't bother him so much that he slept with Denise on the side, and not to mention, there was that Joyce Ficklett lady!

But even with all of Jimmy's major flaws, you did still love him. You loved him more than a confidant should, more than Lisa's childhood friend should, and surely more than a best friend should.

"She left me – Lisa left me. Left me for Matthew Hollander, who conveniently also does poetry." Jimmy informed you with a bitter tone. If he loved Lisa so much, why did he put her through hell?

He had bruises everywhere, and a black eye forming. After Lisa leaving him and being punched by Hollander himself, Jimmy got into a car accident after being recklessly emotional.

He seems to be on way better terms with his father, even if his mother is upset about the car accident.

You weren't too sure to say. You loved Jimmy, but knew Lisa deserved better. And in a sense, so did you.

Standing up from his chair, Jimmy made his way and sat next to you on his bed. He stared you intently, waiting for your words of comfort.

"That's unfortunate, Jimmy. I'm sorry your night went awful." You replied, except you felt a bit numb.

Were you sorry? You didn't think so. Jimmy was late for his date with Lisa because he was too busy screwing Joyce Ficklett. Why wouldn't Lisa leave him for Matthew Hollander?

Jimmy didn't think you were sorry either.

"You're lying. [Name], I can tell you're lying to me." Jimmy claimed, growing upset with your attitude.

You frown, feeling your pent emotions burst, "Jimmy, what do you expect me to say? Especially with everything I know? That she's missing out? And that you're the best thing she's ever going to have?"

"Fuck, it would've felt nice! I mean, I could've died last night!" Jimmy retorted, why were you acting like this? You were suppose to be the one person who doesn't judge him!

"And what would that make me? A liar. Jimmy, you're my best friend, but you weren't being fair to her. Lisa's my friend too, y'know." You interjected back, feeling a bit angry and upset.

In Jimmy's world, he's the victim.

"You're suppose to be here for me, [Name]! Why are you acting like this? I don't understand. You've never acted this way before." Jimmy voiced back, and it was clear you had upset him even further.

"Because I'm sick of being treated like this, Jimmy! I don't like knowing all of your skeletons, and I don't like hiding them from Fred or Lisa. That guilt – it consumes me." You revealed, your voice become almost squeaky and high pitched. Your throat felt sore, and you held back the tears that wanted to fall.

"How do you think I feel, huh?"  Jimmy answers after a moment of just observing you. You were a wreck, and he's never seen you so emotional before. It's always him venting, and you there sit there was a reassuring smile and advice.

But not this time. It seemed as if life was changing too fast for Jimmy, and now he couldn't keep up with the pace either.

"I know you feel horrible...but I have to tell you something. You are the person who has treated me the worst out of all I've ever known, but I hold onto you because I'm tired of losing people who once cared for me. " You confess, breaking down into whimpers and soft sobs.

It hurts you to tell him this, but you needed that off your chest. Jimmy was never there
for you, and until this moment, it seemed as if your feelings didn't cross his mind.

Looking up with teary eyes, Jimmy seemed devastated. Almost as if this was worst than the car crash, with Fred being angry at him, or Lisa dumping him.

"What?" He questions in a tone of anguish and shock.

You don't say anything, what can you say? That's how you felt. That's probably how Lisa felt too.

"Y-You don't mean that, c'mon, [Name]. Please don't say that, I need you. I need you more than Lisa. Fuck, you're my glue holding me together." Jimmy stutters out, seeming so lost and dejected.

And suddenly, the gap between you close as he pulls you into his arms. You hate him for making you feel this way, crying and wrapping your arms around him.

"You won't leave me, will you? Please don't leave me." Jimmy pleads, holding you in his lap, his arms wrapped around your waist.

"I-I won't, but I should." You reply back in stutters, and any moment now, and you'd hiccuped from the strong cries.

"I regret it all. I really do, I swear. Please, please– let's fix this, please." He pleads once more, unwrapping his arms before gently taking your teary face into his hands. He looks into eyes, and his heart wrenches.

It never really occurred to him that you loved him, probably more than Lisa did.

But like always, he stops thinking and pulls you into a kiss.

Even if you're angry at him, and at his flaws, you really loved him. You loved his quirks, his jokes, and his jovial personality. He was seductive and he was poetic.

And once again, you lost yourself within him. But at least this time, it seems as if he wanted you.

Time passes, and suddenly, clothes are scattered all over Jimmy's room. The bed creaks loudly, and you're glad his family isn't home because you couldn't contain your moans.

Unlike him, you weren't experience at sex, and for a moment, he felt glad he was the one that deflowered you. It made you his.

You finally felt enraptured, falling apart again within him. He moans loudly too as his reaches his climax, and suddenly the high dies down gradually.

He collapses next to you. You felt gross, sweaty and extremely hot, but also temporarily happy.

For once, he was yours.

"I was your first, right?" Jimmy queries, sounding tired, as he observed your face. He decided he wanted to remember all your features and flaws, and write poetry about it.

"Yes." You respond tiredly, worn out from the sex and the breakdown you had.

"Are you in love with me, [Name]? Even after all that shit I put you through?" He asks again, more curious, perhaps even desperate for an answer.

"I'm sorry." You reply, indirectly admitting your feelings and feeling bad for them.

This wasn't suppose to happen, how would Lisa feel? He wasn't suppose to be yours to touch.

"Oh." He responds, not sure how to feel about the sudden confession. He doesn't even recall Lisa feeling that intensely for him, and he's sure as hell that neither Denise or Joyce did either.

"I'm sorry I fell in love with. But you can at least pretend you're in love with me too? Please." You asks, and the rush of emotions come back. It hurts, it hurts so much.

You had him physically, but you wanted his heart too. But you weren't too sure if that belonged to anyone.

He doesn't say anything, and he just wraps his arms around you, spooning you.

Even if it was faux and perhaps even for one night, and that he might never talk to you again, no matter his claims of needing you, you were glad that he held you and loved you.

Even if it was for one night.

I'm sorry but I fell in love tonight.
I didn't mean to fall in love tonight.
You're looking like you fell in love tonight.
Could we pretend that we're in love?

author's note:
I was listening to Halsey, and got really inspired. I've only watched A Night In The Life of Jimmy Reardon once, so I hope the characterization is sufficient. I apologize for any grammar, spelling, or punctuation errors. It's 3:24 AM when I wrote this.

This was a sad imagine, in my opinion, and the character ("You") is stuck in a unhealthy friendship/relationship.

Also, I tried being vague on the sex scene because I'm a virgin who doesn't know shit. Okay, goodnight!