I wrote this thing months ago, just to write something. Idk why am I even publishing it lol. I know it sucks, but I hope some of you might still read it...

For our second year anniversary Slash got me a puppy. He got us a puppy. We've been living together for about seven months now.

It was such a nice and cuddly dog. It loved all the band members, especially Axl.

Slash enlisted me with a task of giving him a name. Three days have passed and I still haven't come up with anything. Slash had told me that if I don't decide by tomorrow, he's gonna give him the name. Racking my brains, I couldn't find anything that I liked. I ended up inviting Axl to our house while Slash was away, to help me pick out a name.

  - So, what's the dog's name? - Axl asked.
  - I haven't named it yet. - I admitted sadly. - I just really don't know... I couldn't find a good name.
  - Well, why didn't Slash name it?
  - No! I wanna do it myself! But, I just can't think of anything I like. That's why I invited you. I need your help. I need to come up with the name until tomorrow, or Slash will name it.
  - Well, you if you need my help, than you're not doing it yourself. - He said mockingly. I rolled my eyes. - I don't know why is it such a big deal who names it. You can't come up with anything, but maybe Slash can.
  - Oh, cut the crap and help me! Slash has all this pet snakes which he named. And I really want to give the puppy a name. It was a gift for me, after all.

Axl looked me with a raised eyebrow for a moment, before looking away, as if he's thinking.

  - I can't come up with anything, either. I mean... It's male, right?
  - Yeah, it is. - I sighed. - C'mon! You have to give me something, I just don't know what to do anymore.
  - How about Rex? Or Baxter? - Those were regular dog names, but I wanted something better than that. - Bruno? Scooter? Frankie? George?

He kept listing some ridiculous names, giggling more and more. I growled in frustration, standing up. I went to the kitchen and brought a bottle of Vodka. Popping the bottle open, I started drinking straight from it.

- Hey, why don't you name it Vodka? - he said with a smirk.

I shot him a death glare, squeezing my lips and clenching the bottle.

- I am glad that you find this entertaining. I fucking surely don't.

Taking a sip of Vodka, I leaned back into the couch. Axl got quiet. I sipped my drink, looking blankly at the wall, not paying attention at what Axl was doing. After a few minutes, I heard him snickering. I looked over at him through squinty eyes.

  - What's funny?
  - Nothing. I just came up with some more names you wouldn't like.
  - Ugh! Don't tell me, please.
  - Okay.

My dog suddenly appeared in front of us, wriggling his tale. Axl called out to him and he happily approached him. I decided to change the subject of the conversation, because it looked like Axl will be of no use to me. We spend the time talking about random things, while Axl played with the dog. I watched them attentively, and it crossed my mind that it would be perfect if Axl treated the people around him the way he treats this dog. They both enjoyed each other's company very much.

In the midst of all the affection I saw before me, a thought occurred to me. A name.

  - My dog really likes you.
  - Yeah. I like him too. - Axl said, looking at the dog tenderly.
  - You know... What if I name him after you?
  - What?! - Axl snapped his head towards me in shock. - Are you kidding me or what?
  - No, it just crossed my mind...
  - Well, I don't know... - He got quiet for a while and turned his attention back to the dog. He seemed shy. - Axl... Axl. Well, maybe. But, it's kind of weird, you know. You can find something different, I am sure.
  - I wasn't talking about Axl. I was talking about your real name. William. Or Bill. That sounds better. Bill. Billy.

Axl looked at me with wide eyes and mouth agape with incredulity. I acted cool, as if it was nothing. But deep down I was dancing with joy, especially after seeing his reaction. He knew that I know that he hates that nickname. He blinked a few times, and shook his head to come back to his senses.

- What?! Why would you do that?
- Why, what's the problem? I like that name.
- No! Choose another name.
- Bill... Bill... Bill sounds fine. I think I am gonna go with Bill. - I repeated it few times on purpose, and I watched as Axl gritted his teeth, nostrils spreading like a raging bull, eyes filled with anger and hate.
- Duff, not that. Anything but that. You know I hate that name. - He tried to keep his cool, but I could sense he was boiling, ready to explode.
- Oh, really? You do? Well too bad. 'Cause I like that name. - I couldn't help but smile a little.
- You think this is funny?! - he raised his voice, standing up.
- Well, it surely is entertaining. - I answered with a broad smile.
- What if I punch you? Will you find that entertaining? - I stood up too, placing the bottle on the table.
- I will you punch you back. You really want to do this?

I acted playful, but I tensed a bit too. Axl was aggressive, so I had to be prepared for any kind of outcome.

- What the fuck, Duff? Just...

Then we heard noises coming from in front of the house. It must be Slash. I went out to check, leaving the room without even glancing at Axl. It was Slash and Izzy. We all entered the living room together. They greeted Axl. I was kinda glad they were here, because our conversation could have gotten physical.

  - I have news, guys! - I said happily, clapping my hands for the dramatic effect. - I found the perfect name for the dog!
- Yeaaah? - Slash and Izzy both looked at me excitedly.
- I'm gonna name him Bill. We can call him Billy.

Slash and Izzy got quiet and instead of rejoicing with me, they turned they heads at Axl and gave him surprised and worried looks. He looked fucking pissed, but decided against commenting anything, except producing a muted growl. Izzy turned to me and spoke cautiously.
 
- But Axl hates that name. - he said.
- Yeah? I can't help that, I just like that name. It fits perfectly with the dog.

I said with a smile, and everybody turned their attentions to Bill. Then to Axl.

  - It's just gonna be weird watchin' Bill go around naked. I mean, we could see his ass and his balls... - Izzy said casually, while Slash and I smiled. It was a nice allusion, considering we saw Axl walk around practically naked all the time. Axl grunted.
  - What the fuck?!
  - What's up, Billy boy? - Slash said.
  - Don't call me that! - Axl screamed in frustration.
  - I wasn't talking to you. - Slash said calmly, looking at the dog.  - Come here, Billy boy.

Slash called out to the dog, the dog barked and approached him wriggling his tale. Axl screamed in anger and stormed outside. We chuckled at his dramatic reaction.

Few days later, we were gathered at our house. The band and some of our friends. We were busy chatting when Axl appeared, late as always. We haven't heard of him since the last time he was here, and we weren't sure he was going to show up. We invited him, hoping that if he does decide to show up, it'll be because he got past his bitching phase.

The atmosphere in the room changed for a moment, everyone stopped talking and looked at Axl. Some were serious, others were trying to suppress a smile. He frowned, greeted everyone, and sat in a free sit. It was awkward for a few moments, but I decided to break the silence, and conversation soon picked up and became lively.

  - Come here, Billy!
  - Come to me, Bill!
  - You're such a good boy, Billy!

People were infatuated by our dog and he was running in different directions in order to get to everyone. They loved to play with him and he enjoyed being petted. Axl twitched a bit everytime his/the dog's name was mentioned. He tried to have conversation at first, but with his name being called out more and more, he seemed to clam up.

At first, the people in the room seemed to be focused on the dog, but after some time they seemed to notice that it affected Axl badly, and they kept touching the nerve.

  - It must've been really weird when you woke up and saw that Billy wet the bed!
  - And when you saw the shit he left in the kitchen! I mean, out of all the places! Bill is such a bad boy.
  - And when Bill bite Slash's ass hahaha, that must've been ridiculous.

It went on for a while. Everybody was retelling the stories we told them about Bill, in order to irritate the other Bill, who hated that nickname. It worked, because Axl suddenly jumped and yelled.

  - Shut up! Shut up all of you! Bill, Billy, Bill, Billy! How many times will you pronounce that shitty name?!

The room went completely silent. Everyone looked at Axl in a mix of surprise, confusion and fear. Every person moved just their head, only to exchange looks with each other, doing it so carefully, as if it might cause Axl to snap.

  - It's the dog's name... - a man dared to say.
  - Fuck you! And fuck the stupid dog! And fuck Duff for giving him that stupid name! - He screamed furiously, pointing at everyone as he spoke about them. - Fuck! I'm never gonna come to this house again!

He stormed out slamming the front door.

We haven't heard from him in a few days, when he came back unannounced. Slash and I were both at home. It was so Axl-like to disappear for a few days when he gets mad, and come back again when he clears his head. But, this time we were mad too. He acted like a complete asshole in our house, telling our guests to shut the fuck up, insulting me and my - our dog.

  - What brings you in here? - I said derisively, when we all sat in the living room. Axl squinted his eyes.
  - Am I not not welcome in the house of my best friends?
  - You said yourself you ain't coming back here. But here you are.
  - Yeah... I was pissed. I guess I could swing by once in a while.
  - So you're not mad anymore? - Slash asked. He was mad at Axl too, but it appears that passed, or he just pretended like it did, because he didn't want to confront Axl, knowing that could end up in a fight. He was the lazy type, avoiding problems as much as possible.
  - Well, I am still annoyed. But, I was gonna ask you, nicely, to change his name.
  - Hmmm... And it never occurred to you that we were mad?
  - Are you? Slash, are you?
  - We are! Slash may try to supress his anger, but I'm not gonna! You acted like a complete asshole out there! In our fuckin' house! You insulted our guests, me, my dog! You think you can just do everything you want, say anything you want! You think the world revolves around Axl Rose, and that his word is the law, and whatever he says, we must obey. If he doesn't like something, not a chance we're gonna do it! If he likes it, we must do it! You know what, FUCK YOU! If we want to name our dog Bill, we're gonna name him that way! And it's not our deal you can't take a fuckin' joke! No, not Axl Rose! He can make fun of everyone, but when it's about him... No, then he gets mad in a second!

That stirred some shit. We started to yell at each other. Slash was confused, he tried to calm us down, but didn't want to take anyone's side. He left the room, annoyed at both of us for being such stubborn pricks. At the end, we both calmed down when we saw Bill getting upset and barking at us. We sat down, both defeated, back turned to each other. Bill stopped barking, but he still seemed uspet, he was moving about restlessly, wailing from time to time.

Slash came back after some time. He didn't say anything, he just sat down and started petting the dog. Axl and I were both mute as a fish. It was a tense atmosphere.

  - Are we gonna sit like this forever? Being quiet, ignoring each other? - Slash broke the silence. Axl and me turned to face Slash. We looked at each other through squinty eyes like in THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY, knowing whoever fires first is gonna get a backshot.
  - This is so stupid! - Slash said in frustration. - Stop acting like children! We're gonna keep the name, it fits the dog and end of the story, okay?

Axl screamed in frustration, while I screamed in joy.

  - Shut up, both of you! You're annoying me, both of you. And you managed to upset Bill. - Me and Axl looked at each other ready to throw the blame on each other. - Ugh. Me and Bill are gonna take a walk. When we go back I hope you'll clean that mess.

Slash said going out of the room, Bill following his lead. Axl and I looked at each other in confusion, and started looking around the room for the "mess" Slash mentioned. The room was perfectly clean, except for the tiny spot of pee that was now resting on the floor. Axl spotted it and showed it to me, raising an eyebrow.

  - Enjoy the cleaning! - he said with a smirk.
  - You should clean that! Bill was upset because of you, and that's why he peed! And you didn't even said you're sorry for acting like a jerk, so now's your chance!

And that's how we started fighting again. At least we were alone, and we weren't disturbing anyone who might pee on the floor.