Chapter 31 - "It's not fair on Nathan."

[[Contains strong language and sexual content]]

The week dragged by. My argument with Jack had had an impact on my everyday life at university. I spent the evenings alone in my room because I couldn't spend them with him. The atmosphere in the flat was awkward as hell.

My calendar had become a countdown mechanism; each morning, I crossed off the previous day and watched as I got closer and closer to the Christmas holidays. It was strange to think that I'd been here for just three months. Such a lot had happened in that time.

On the flip side, I got essays completed quicker than ever. I was making a real effort to strengthen my friendship with Jess again, and I could at least distract myself with preparations for Christmas in Italy. That in itself was something to look forward to, and it was just what I kept focusing on. I really hoped that my issues with Jack would be sorted before we left for the Christmas holidays, but if they weren't then I was sure we could start afresh in the New Year.

"Izzy?" Shaun called from the other side of my door. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," I called back, spinning around on my chair to face him when he entered my room. "What's up?"

"The lads are having a Christmas meal tonight and we want you in on it."

"Lads?"

"Yeah, you're like one of the lads anyway and...well...nobody really wants Hayley and Gemma there so let's keep it hush-hush, yeah?"

I nodded. "Sure. So what are we cooking?"

"Oh...well, erm, we were just gonna get pizza..."

"Pizza is fine by me." I laughed. "Let me know what time and I'll be there."

He shot me a wink. "Good girl. We're probably gonna get it in for around six. What time is Nath arriving tomorrow?"

"It depends when he gets off work," I replied. "It'll probably be around seven."

"Okay, great. We're all looking forward to seeing him."

I forced a smile. Normally Jack would be excited to see Nathan, but would that have changed now? I hoped not. I hoped Nathan would be able to repair some of the damage. And even if he couldn't, I didn't want Jack's issues with me to get in the way of their budding friendship.

When I mentioned a similar thing to Jess later that afternoon, however, she had a different opinion.

"I think that might make stuff even worse," she said over Skype. "Just imagine, he would be stuck in the middle. It's not fair on Nathan."

"Yeah, but I doubt this fight between Jack and me will last forever," I replied. "And I don't want it to affect his friendship with Nathan in the meantime."

"Well, if you feel that way, one of you needs to be the bigger person and apologize. Otherwise it just gets more awkward and more difficult to make the first move."

"I know..." I sighed.

"And just imagine how messy it could get. Jack would be bitching about you to Nathan, and then you would be bitching about Jack to Nathan.."

"I'd like to think Jack has more sense than to bitch about me to Nathan."

"Perhaps use that as your motivation to sort things out then," Jess suggested. "Even if you feel it's not up to you, and that he's the one in the wrong, just do it for Nathan's sake."

I actually couldn't think of a better reason than to do it for Nathan. His happiness was enough to make me swallow my pride.

"I'm getting pizza with the boys tonight. So maybe I'll try to patch things up with Jack during that."

"Sounds like a good idea."

For some reason, putting myself out there to sort things out with Jack made me nervous. It shouldn't have, because we were both mature adults and we weren't in high school. Maybe it was because Jack and I had never had an awkward relationship; we'd always been jokey and light-hearted around each other, so I wasn't really sure how to approach this new dimension. Would he be good about it? Would he forgive me?

When the time for pizza rolled around, there was no obvious awkward tension between Jack and me. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. We ordered pizzas and Jack even turned to me at one point and asked if I'd eat his mushrooms if he got the ham and mushroom pizza.

While we waited for the food to arrive, Jack and I chatted freely along with everyone else. We watched a film while eating, and by the time that had finished, it was almost ten o'clock.

"I've got a nine am tomorrow," Shaun said. "So I'll probably be heading to bed soon. You want me to put these boxes in the kitchen?"

"I'll give you a hand," Jack offered.

As the room cleared, I waited outside my bedroom for Jack to re-emerge from the kitchen. My mind was spinning with things I could say, but since the atmosphere between us hadn't been too bad thus far, I decided I'd keep it simple.

"Hey," I said, as he left the kitchen. "I just wanted to apologize for the other night. Things got a bit out of hand, and I said some stuff that I shouldn't have."

He waved a hand to dismiss my apology. "It's fine. I wanted to apologize too. I know I hurt you and I know that's the only reason you reacted the way that you did. So I'm sorry."

I smiled. "Me too."

And, just like that, things were sorted.

*

Nathan arrived around six the next evening, and we cooked a pasta meal together in the kitchen to thoroughly line our stomachs.

"That's a shit load of pasta," Jack commented. "Are you not planning on getting drunk at all?"

"What are you having to eat?" I shot back.

"Pizza," he announced proudly. "Nice and easy."

"But we had pizza last night."

"Yeah? What's your point? Last night I had ham and mushroom, and tonight I'm having pepperoni."

"You're right. That's completely different," I said.

He shot me a wink and leant across to preheat the oven. As he waited, he engaged in conversation with Nathan, and I attended to dinner whilst the two boys caught up with each other. I was glad that the two people closest to me got on well, but it made me realise that Jess was right. If this hostility between Jack and me had continued, then it would have made things very awkward for Nathan, and that just wasn't worth it.

"Oh hey, Nath," Hayley smiled sweetly, entering the kitchen.

Just seeing her made my blood boil for so many reasons: her general smugness, her constant flirting with my boyfriend, and her fooling around with Jack. Was it a simple personality clash between the two of us, or did she have a more personal reason to dislike me?

"Hi, Hayley," Nathan replied politely. "How are you?"

"Yeah, I'm good," she said, perching on the edge of the kitchen table. "Buzzing for tonight, mainly!"

"Yeah, it should be good."

"Will you be getting drunk?" she asked, a hint of teasing clearly audible in her tone.

My grip tightened around the wooden spoon, but I forced myself to concentrate on stirring the pasta rather than retaliating to Hayley's goading.

"Sure," he said casually. "But I'm not one of those people who needs to get absolutely smashed to have a good time."

"I'm sure Izzy would look after you if you ever did get smashed." Her gaze burned the back of my neck. "She never gets drunk."

"That's one of the reasons I'm so in love with her," Nathan said. "Because she's not like those girls who feel the need to get themselves into states every night. In my opinion, if a girl needs to get drunk in order to have fun, then it probably means she's no fun to be around when she's sober."

He said it casually, and in a friendly tone, but I knew exactly what he was trying to get across. Hayley must have realised it too, because she turned her attention onto Jack.

"What are you drinking tonight, Jacky Boy?"

"Think I've still got some of that cheap-ass Sainsbury's voddy left."

"Messy night for you then." She trailed her long nails over his forearm. "I pity whichever poor girl falls into your trap tonight."

Heat climbed up the back of my neck. Thankfully she then left the kitchen, and I sucked in a deep breath.

"Just relax," Nathan murmured to me, rubbing my lower back gently. "Is that pasta cooked now?"

I fished out a piece of penne and waited for it to cool before biting into it, then nodded as I swallowed.

"Yeah."

"Cool, you drain it and I'll go about making a sauce."

Jack was still hovering about in the kitchen, providing entertaining conversation whilst simultaneously getting in the way. I tried to distract him while Nathan made his signature sauce — Philadelphia with chives, lemon juice and a dash of milk. It was a stodgy meal, but delicious, and it was a welcome change from the pre-made sauces that I tended to buy from the supermarkets.

"What are you wearing tonight?" Nathan asked me as we ate.

"I haven't decided yet. Do you want to help pick something out for me after?"

"Sounds like a great idea." He flashed me a devilish grin.

I rolled my eyes at his playfulness. "Something sensible."

"Do you have anything I've not seen you in yet?" he asked.

I chewed on my pasta as I thought about it. "Doubt it," I said eventually once I'd swallowed. "But we can have a look."

And that's what we did as soon as the dishes were washed.

I held up a blue skater dress for his opinion. It had a deep v-neck with a fitted body and a floating skirt. Nathan eyed it up and down in approval.

"It looks nice. How about you try it on for me?"

He sat down on the bed, holding the dress as I shimmed out of my jeans and t-shirt. When I held out my hand for the dress, however, Nathan's attention was elsewhere.

"Nathan." I smacked him round the head to divert his mind back to the task at hand. "Stop staring at my boobs."

"Sorry...I just haven't been able to stop thinking about last weekend..." His tone was low and sensual, and my heartrate took off.

"Yes...well...right now we're trying to find something to—"

"Do you know how sexy you look in that underwear?" He rose from the bed and tossed the dress onto the duvet, where it landed in a crumpled heap.

As he prowled towards me, I retreated until my back hit the desk.

"Nathan..." I warned. "We don't have time for this."

He placed a palm flat on the wood on either side of me, then leaned towards my ear.

"I love how nervous you get like this," he whispered in my ear. "I bet I could make you do anything right now..."

He pressed his hips against mine, the hard bulge of his erection digging into the gap between my legs. An involuntary moan escaped me.

Slowly, his lips traced a featherlight path along the column of my throat. The warmth of his breath caressed my skin like silk.

Then, without warning, Nathan's hand slid inside my underwear. One finger slicked through my folds.

"Oh, the things I'm going to do to you later..." he said. "I'm going to blow your mind, Isobel."

The use of my full name was almost enough to tip me over the edge.

"Like what?" I couldn't help but groan when his touch left me.

No sooner had the disappointment registered, he spun me around so I faced away from him. Fingers curling around my wrists, he pulled my hands towards the far side of the desk until I was bent over it. The polished wood bit into my bare stomach.

"Taking you like this, for example..."

"Why don't you take me right now, then?" The words slid out of my mouth in a hushed breath before I could stop them.

But, as if I'd flicked a switch, Nathan chuckled into my ear. "Because you said it yourself, Bella; we don't have time."

And then he stepped backwards and burst our little sexual bubble. In my aroused state, I didn't know what to feel: anger, frustration, annoyance?

"You can be a dick sometimes." I straightened up and glowered at him.

Nathan just laughed. "Oh, trust me, Bella...the sex is going to be so much better later on if we're anticipating it throughout our entire time at the club."

"Well maybe I won't fancy it later on," I said stubbornly, folding my arms.

He just chuckled again. "Well, it wouldn't take me long to change that. Now try this dress on, please. You've wasted enough time."

*

Pre-drinks started early. I hated pre-drinks; the environment was often too intimate and so people were far too aware of how much you were drinking. Luckily, with Nathan there, it didn't bother me so much. Hayley wouldn't dare to make any snide comments when Nathan was standing right beside me. And the drinking games soon turned into casual chatting anyway. The problem with casual chatting, however, was that we soon lost track of the time.

"I'm ordering a cab," Hayley announced loudly, taking out her phone and dramatically tapping at it.

"Fuck that!" Jack scoffed. "Let's get the bus. It's free!"

"We don't have time. It's only free entry before eleven. "

"Paying for entry is going to be cheaper than paying for a cab," Jack insisted.

"Not if we split the cost!"

"Ooh, lover's tiff." Phil grinned before taking another swig of his beer.

"Ah, fuck off, man." Jack shoved him. "Leave it out."

"Well Gem and I are getting a cab," Hayley said. "Who else is in?"

Nathan nudged me. "Do you want to?"

I glanced down at my stilettos and decided that, despite how the thought of being near Hayley in a confined space turned my stomach, it would certainly save my feet.

"Sure," I replied.

As it happened, Hayley and Gemma were at that stage of drunk where all they wanted to do was giggle and kiss and take photos with each other. They barely even noticed Nathan and me getting into the taxi with them.

Nathan's hand rested on my bare thigh as we drove to the club. We didn't really say much; both of us just watched Hayley and Gemma's antics, something which the taxi driver appeared to have his eye on too.

When we finally arrived at the club, the fare was eight pounds, so two pounds each. Hayley fished around in her bag, then said that she only had a pound and so passed that to the driver before stumbling out of the taxi and heading towards the entrance, arm in arm with Gemma.

I fought back my anger at her clear selfishness, and added another pound of my own, refusing to let Nathan pay for her.

"She's my flatmate," I muttered. "And besides, I'm the only girl you should be paying for."

Nathan chuckled at that. "Come on, let's grab a drink."

My anger soon subsided as Nathan and I enjoyed some couple-time by ourselves. Hayley and Gemma were nowhere to be seen and I could only assume the boys hadn't arrived yet. Without prying eyes, Nathan and I could dance freely and the drunker we got, the dirtier the dancing became.

We grinded against each other with almost every part of our fronts pressed together. When that became tricky, I turned my back on him and grinded that way instead, my hips swaying to the rhythm of the music. Somehow alcohol made me a much better dancer...

Nathan was right, though; the anticipation of sex was back on my mind. We shared a few intense kisses and, at one point, Nathan's hand slid up my dress and between my legs. It was a brief touch — we didn't want to get thrown out — but only turned me on more.

When the rest of the group joined us, Nathan and I toned down our dancing a lot. Hayley wound her arms around Jack's neck and kissed his cheek. Jack didn't really respond, but his hand did move to rest on her back.

Nathan pulled me into an embrace, effectively tearing my eyes away from the two of them.

I tried to push it out of my mind and concentrate on Nathan, but I just couldn't. Would Jack really go there again? After we argued about it? After he insisted it was a mistake? After he saw how much it hurt me?

Unable to ignore it any longer, I looked back over my shoulder. Hayley was dancing with Gemma, away from Jack. He kept glancing over at her though, every few seconds.

"Come on," Nathan said, taking my hand. "Let's get another drink."

And he pulled me away from the dance floor so that I could no longer see Hayley and Jack. Out of sight, out of mind. I didn't want to let it ruin my final night out before Christmas, so Nathan and I did our own thing for an hour or so.

However, it was supposed to be a flat night out, and so we re-joined them later on. Jack was dancing with the boys, and Hayley was with Gemma. For a good twenty minutes, I actually enjoyed myself. But then I noticed that with each passing song, Hayley and Jack were gradually moving closer to one another. They were still dancing with their respective groups, but their bodies would brush every now and then, and I knew it wasn't accidental.

I'd seen Hayley pull guys using this method plenty of times. She'd dance with Gemma, but gradually get closer to a target guy. Soon she'd be dancing so close to him that she was practically dancing with him, and that's when she'd hook up with him.

"I'm going to the toilet," I told Nathan.

I took my time in the toilets, and not just due to the long queue. I wanted to collect my thoughts, calm myself down, and come to terms with the idea of it. They were both horny students, and they were both drunk. Jack was right; it wasn't my place to tell him who he could and couldn't get with. If he wanted to lower himself to Hayley, then that was his choice. If Hayley wanted to get with him, then that was her choice. It was nothing to do with me.

When I finished in the toilets, I thought I'd come to terms with it. I headed out with a fresh outlook, determined not to let their actions bother me. But when I rounded the corner and saw them both pressed up against a wall, very much kissing, I realised that was easier said than done. 

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