A deep, searing pain engulfed my entire body, like fire licking at my nerves, but the worst of it - God, the worst of it - was still in my chest.

It felt as if something massive and jagged had been lodged there, pressing down, suffocating me with every shallow breath. My ribs ached with each rise and fall, a stabbing sensation radiating through my torso, making even the act of breathing feel like a punishment.

My limbs were heavy, weighted down by agony, and no matter how I shifted against the thin infirmary sheets, there was no relief, only more pain, crashing over me in relentless waves. My pulse hammered in my skull, my fingers twitched weakly against the mattress, and every second stretched unbearably long, drowning me in a torment I couldn’t escape.

But I still wasn't going to break. Not when my pride was on the line.

When it had started to get worse earlier that evening, I had attempted to focus on my issue with Corbin, but even that wasn't enough to distract me from the agony under my skin. The infirmary staff had given up trying to sedate me or pump me full of painkillers, since nothing worked, so they left me to rot, writhing in my private slice of hell.

What a way to go. Murdered by fate having a tantrum.

Ichiji's scent had not left since I had first caught a whiff of it nearly three days ago, but now it was getting stronger, which in turn was absolutely triggering my body to whale on me more.
"OH MY GOD, CAN YOU PLEASE JUST GO AWAY?!" I screamed out, uncaring if the doctors and nurses heard me at this point.

Instead of the silence I was expecting, I was answered by the door to my suite being flung open, and a staggering figure leaning against the frame. Even through the dark, I could see that Ichiji looked a sorry mess, no better than I did, or perhaps, somehow, even worse.

He was panting out each breath like an overworked dog, continuously having to shift his feet so his legs didn't buckle out from under him.
"Quit...being so stubborn...and take it back already..." Oh, his voice sounded absolutely ragged too. The guy was suffering, and it was both a glorious sight to see as well as a vision that made me feel infinitely worse.

"Never." I wasn't about to dignify him with a lengthy response. He knew my reasons, and he knew my feelings. Well, at least he knew the words for them, the unfeeling monster. Stumbling a few paces further into the room, Ichiji slammed the door shut behind him.

"You...You listen." He had to swallow to try to wet his mouth every few words. Now that he was closer, in the light of the vital monitors, I could see that he was absolutely drenched in sweat. His shirt clung to his skin, and it caused his hair to fall limp. "I can't be like this...so you need to grow up...and take it back. Do you want to die, you s..stupid girl..?"

Even through my pain, now otherworldly thanks to his proximity, I managed to push a wickedly delighted smile to my face.
"Oh, you're struggling. Let m..me soak it in before I tell you to go screw yourself, V..Vinsmoke." I spat out, barely flinching when he let out a wildly frustrated groan and all but threw himself against the end of the bed, catching himself either side of my calves with his hands balled into fists.

"Are you kidding me?! You...You'd rather die?! Because of what?! B..Because you're a c..cow..cowardly bitch who doesn't want to get m..married to me?! Grow up!" I had no doubt in my mind that once upon a time, Vinsmoke Ichiji would have been terrifying when exhibiting such fury, but in his sorry state he was nothing more than a kitten trying to imitate a tiger.

"It's because I hate you!" Saying those words out loud was a big mistake. Our bodies reacted in unison, seizing and overwhelming us with an intense rush of agony. Ichiji clawed at the sheets to keep himself from dropping completely to the ground, his teeth clenched so tightly they were close to breaking.

"Hate me all you want! Just take it back!" He was really starting to lose it, but I wasn't backing down. I knew no good could come of marrying him. I had known that all my life, and now all of the recent revelations had me doubling down.

"No! After all the shit you and your family have done?! Sign up for a lifetime of being treated like shit, with my life in danger, and give your father access t..to whatever the hell he's planning on doing to my country?! After you tricked the one person I genuinely loved into betraying me like that?! I-"

"I'M SORRY, OKAY?!" It wasn't the sheer volume of Ichiji's voice that shut me up. It was the fact that he apologised. Clumsily reaching towards his face, Ichiji snatched his sunglasses away, revealing the most agonised gaze I had ever seen on a person.

I almost forgot how blue his eyes were...

"I..I'm sorry! I..I needed that guy out of the way, a..and I knew that it would hurt you more if I killed him, s..so I messed up, okay?! I was sick of his scent all fucking over you!" He sounded so sincere, I couldn't quite believe it. Sitting myself up was almost too much of a struggle, but I managed to bite through the blazing pain so I could look at him properly, despite it hurting so bad.

"You...think sorry fixes anything..?" This was a problem. Despite my searing hatred, I couldn't help but wonder if he truly even knew he had been doing the wrong thing? If he didn't have the ability to feel guilt or remorse, then didn't it make the act less malicious?

No, I can't let myself fall for that-

"Of course it doesn't, b..but I don't know what else to say or do right now to fix anything! I just need it to s..stop! I'm begging you, (Y/N), please, make it stop! You d..don't have to mean it, just say it so it fucking stops! Please?!" Ichiji threw away every scrap of his pride in that moment, all but dragging himself around the perimeter of the rickety bed to grasp at my arm, which sent a shockwave of something adjacent to pain through my body.

Don't...

No matter how badly my mind wanted to stay strong, every fibre and cell in my body was screaming at me to accept him and be rid of this torture. My heart ached for his desperation, which in turn made me feel all kinds of ways, very few of which were good.

"Please, (Y/N)...I'm begging you..." Ichiji...whimpered? No, I had to have been hearing things, right? Surely Vinsmoke Ichiji, first prince of Germa, hadn't just whimpered? Auditory hallucination or not, that was what broke my stubborn resolve.

"F..Fine..." I croaked out, unable to tear my eyes away from dolorous blue. "I...I take it back. I...accept you...Ichiji..."

That was all it took. It was as though some divine entity had snapped their fingers and rid us of any and all physical pain. Ichiji slumped in instantaneous relief, his forehead falling against the crook of my elbow, and in turn my own body relaxed into the bed, exhausted but functional again.

"Thank you..." Ichiji whispered, his voice hoarse and muffled by the sheets of the bed. I could feel his pulse hammering through our point of contact, but it was beginning to slow back to a natural rhythm, just as mine was. I felt like a failure for having given in, but at the same time, I knew it had been the right call, at least for now.

"This...is only temporary. I'm not going to marry you, Ichiji..." I murmured, choosing to stare at the empty ceiling instead of looking to him. I knew that would just make me more conflicted than I already was.
"No, I get that..." Ichiji responded, still not moving his head from where it rested on my arm. "Just... can you not hate me for just a few minutes..? Like this. Just let me...stay like this."

No matter how hard I tried to find the ability to tell him to kick rocks, I simply couldn't. Right now, in the lingering intensity of what we had both been going through, I couldn't bear to have him anywhere but where he was. Honestly, if I had been a weaker person, I would have likely dragged him closer, and the mere thought of that scared me.

"You owe me for this..." I whispered, shifting my forearm against better judgement to slightly brush my fingers through his damp red hair. "You have to tell me what your people were doing out in the forest..."

"Alright...but...not now. Just...not right now..."

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***Now KITH.

Next Time: A Touch Awkward***