"Where you drinking water out of a blender?" Virgil blinked in confusion and judgement, staring at his roommate.

"It's the biggest container we have." Roman said, holding a blender filled with water and complete with a single straw.

"There are glasses, you know." Virgil said. "I got a whole set from Target, they're there for a reason."

Roman shrugged. "I'm trying to drink as much water as I can before my audition today. I avoided coffee because caffeine is bad for your voice." His eyes grew as if he just had a sudden thought of realization. "Oh! I almost forgot- watermelon is good for your voice too." He opened the fridge and pulled out a whole watermelon, took out a steak knife, and cut it into four quadrants. He took one of the four and took a huge bite into the middle, getting watermelon juice everywhere.

"You're disgusting." Virgil said.

"You're stuck with me, I'm your roommate." Roman said. "Dammit, I got watermelon juice on my shirt, now I have to change."

"Why are you trying so hard to do these things? I mean, yeah, water is good for your voice, but you don't have to drink a gallon of it. And you certainly don't have to eat a fourth of a watermelon and get it everywhere." Virgil said.

"I also swallowed a couple seeds." Roman said.

Virgil looked at him. "You're the confident type, I can tell, so you don't want to admit it, but you're scared about this audition, aren't you?"

"You're a smart guy, Virgil." Roman sighed. "You want the truth? I'm terrified."

"Why're you so nervous? You've done plenty of auditions before, haven't you?" Virgil asked.

"Yeah, I have, but auditions are always nerve-wracking no matter how many you've done." Roman said. "And... This one in particular is for a show that I've loved ever since high school. It's a rare show, and this is the first I've seen auditions open in my area. I would die to get in." 

"Ah." Virgil said. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think you're pretty good. You can get that part." 

"Thanks." Roman said. "I'm still pretty nervous though... What if they don't think that?"

"We've all been there, Roman. Maybe not all of us have auditions, but we've all had something where we're worried we won't do our best, and then everything will go downhill. They say we shouldn't worry about what others think, but it's not as easy as it sounds. It's the director's job to judge you, and you're worried about what they're going to think. But the director is on your side, and they're human too." Virgil said.

"Wow, that was beautiful. You're pretty good at comforting people." Roman smiled softly.

"I've learned it all from Logan, Patton, and Thomas comforting me over the years. I'm usually the problematic one- I learned a thing or two from them, I guess. I just think about what they'd say and go with that." Virgil said. "After all, I was the one who couldn't go anywhere without having a panic attack."

"Panic attacks?" Roman probed.

Virgil nodded. "I have a pretty bad case of the anxiety disorder. You can probably tell, I'm a mess. I'm kinda a handful, I'm sorry-"

"What're you apologizing for? You don't need to apologize for your anxiety." Roman said.

"Thanks." Virgil said. "Anyways, this is about you, not me. Just take it easy before your audition. You're going to do great."

Roman nodded. "Thanks, Virge."

Virgil clicked his tongue. "Anytime."

~~~

Four men at a table in front of Roman. There were four of them. Men in their thirties, maybe, by the looks of them. All of them white. All of them male. They watched Roman with intense eyes, watching what he would do.

His mind was racing. This is it, this is it, this is it. The audition he's always wanted to attend. The chance he's always wanted to have. The role he's always dreamed of. All right here. 

He slated himself. He provided his resume and headshot. He stated his name and the role he was auditioning for. He was sure to add the name of his monologue and where it came from, and he began.

There were a million things to consider at once, all fighting with Roman's nervousness for their host's attention. Eye contact. Direct and firm, but not staring them in the eyes. Posture. Standing up straight, not wobbling or falling. Emotions. They have to fit the character. Memorization. He remembered the script, he did. But... what was the next line? Oh, right. He couldn't afford to let his nervousness take over. He had people in front of him to impress. He had to remember what he learned in all those high school and college theater courses.

Words were coming out of Roman's mouth and Roman was struggling to keep up with it all- it felt like he was fifteen all over again and going driving for the first time, trying to remember to check the mirrors, speed, cars, turn signals, road signs, all of it, worried that he'd miss something and his driver's end teacher would tut her tongue.

But, as soon as it began, it was over, leaving Roman to wonder the quality of his performance, trying to read the faces of the men in front of him to see if they were impressed. He thanked them for their time and left, internally counting his lucky stars.

~~~

Weeks later, a mass email was sent out with a cast list. Roman scanned the names, trying to find his own... but he couldn't.

He tried again.

Nothing.

It just... wasn't there.

Not in the main roles.

Not in the supporting roles.

Not even in the most obscure of minor roles there were.

Nothing.

That's when it started to sink in. The reality that Roman had known was a possibility but saw as so unbearable that he had shoved it away in his false confidence in an attempt to do better in his performance, but now it had come true and he didn't know what to do because he hadn't prepared for this moment. 

He shut the laptop and collapsed onto the coach, groaning in frustration directed at himself. He had let himself be nervous, let on that he wasn't always so confident. Virgil had asked and he had answered. He had been nervous. It was unlike him. He was Roman King. Roman King, the attractive young man who always put out his best, who showed a confident, carefree persona. This past audition had meant more to him than he had let on- just another audition, but for a part that Roman had wanted so bad, it stung.

The cast list was full of people who were better than him. Full of people who were more talented, better fit for the place that he wanted. The role that he had auditioned for was taken by a guy named Chase Sadler. He didn't recognize the name, but he couldn't help feeling a little jealous.

He knew that he wasn't supposed to cry when he didn't get the part. His high school theater teacher would be disappointed in him if she could see him right now- but he was hurt. People say not to be a poor sport and to just accept it and move on, and Roman knew he should do that. Why was he so upset about it? It's just an audition. Just an audition... that he failed to make.

Roman heard the front door open from behind him and Virgil came in. He had plans with his friends- their names were Logan and Patton, he recalled. Roman had never met them, but Virgil talked about them a lot. 

"How was lunch with your friends?" Roman asked, getting off the couch and facing Virgil. Anything to change the subject.

"It was good." Virgil said casually. "How was your day? Anything interesting happen?" 

"I, uh, got an email with the cast list of the last audition I went to." Roman said. 

"Oh, really? So, what's the verdict?" Virgil asked.

"I didn't get a role." Roman said. "But you know, whatever, amiright?"

Virgil met Roman's eyes. "You said you really wanted this audition, that it meant a lot to you. Now you're just shrugging it off? Are you sure you're not upset? I would be." 

"I mean..." Roman shrugged. "There will be more auditions in the future, right? No use crying about it." 

"Roman." Virgil eyed his roommate suspiciously. 

"I... I mean, so what if I'm a little upset, there's nothing I can do about it now." Roman said. "It's nothing, I'll get over it."

Virgil nodded. "I thought so."

"What, it's not that big of a deal, really." Roman said. "I'm a tough guy, I can handle it." 

"C'mon, you dork. We're going to get ice cream." Virgil said, already grabbing his car keys.

"But you just had lunch." Roman protested.

"I don't care. You need some good old feel-better ice cream." Virgil said.

"That's a very unhealthy mentality, Virgil-" Roman tried to further object, but Virgil was stubborn.

"Too late. You can't change my mind." Virgil led Roman out to his car and got in the driver's seat. "There's a place not too far from here that has the best ice cream-"

Roman offered a small smile. "Thanks. I... I really appreciate it."

Virgil shrugged. "Consider it a nice gesture from a friend."