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Chapter Thirty-Nine: Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?
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• trigger warning: this chapter contains sexually explicit material•
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By the time the sun began its ascent into the early morning sky, Romina had already been awake for quite some time. She fell asleep shortly after all of her tears were cried. The sensation of being held by Sirius helped her entire body to relax into the short slumber. And when her internal clock decided it was time to wake up, the dark haired girl slipped out of her boyfriends arms and made her way into the living room of his flat.
She knew he had cried just as much as she did the night before and she did not want to wake him. She made herself a cup of tea, tucking her feet beneath her as she huddled on the windowsill in his living room. It was fascinating to watch the muggles rush around on the street below, everyone fighting to get to their jobs on time. She found that she was rather curious about their methods of transportation. It seemed like many people either walked to the subway, or rode their bikes.
Romina felt the muscles in her legs aching at the thought. Thank Merlin for the floo and apparition, she found herself thinking with a smile on her face. She moved to lean her temple against the glass, sipping at her tea and doing whatever she could to not think about Regulus. She knew that when Sirius woke up, she would have to tell him as much as she could.
The horcrux situation needed to remain a secret, atleast for the time being. So as she sat there, willing away more tears that threatened to burst, Romina thought of what she would tell not just Sirius, but everyone else as well. She knew nobody would pester her for any details, other than Sirius, so she assumed she could just say Regulus was doing research into the weaknesses of the Dark Lord. That pretty much summed it up, without giving too much away.
"Mina?" Sirius' hoarse voice echoed throughout the flat as he got up from the bed in search of her.
By that point, she had already finished her tea and moved to uncurl her feet from beneath her before she met him in the hallway leading to the bedroom. His eyes were just as bloodshot, rimmed with red, irritated plump skin, as her own were. She slipped her hands along the sides of his face before wrapping her arms around his neck. Sirius brought his hands to her waist as he held her close against him in a tight embrace.
"I didn't want to wake you, but I couldn't sleep." She admitted in a whisper, fingertips gently grazing the base of his skull as they began to sway slightly side to side. "I-" she stopped herself and pressed her face into his neck. She was already beginning to cry again and she hated that. She wanted to be stronger. Not just for her own sake, nor for Sirius', but for Regulus.
"Come back to bed." He told her, releasing her from his grip before he brought her back to the bed, curling up behind her immediately as he covered them both with the quilt for extra warmth.
They stayed this way for a couple of hours, sleeping on and off, both taking turns being awake and then being asleep. With a glance to the clock on his nightstand, Sirius realized it was closer to noon now and he slipped out of her grasp the moment he heard the front door to his flat open. He was not worried about who it could be because judging by the hushed whispers, it was Lily and James.
As he stepped into the hallway, Sirius smiled at his best friend who stood there with a couple of bags, Lily behind him with some homemade food that smelled absolutely delicious. "You guys didn't have to do all of this." He told them, though the smile that remained on his lips showed them that he was grateful.
"Nonsense. Of course we did. We're family." Lily playfully scolded him, shaking her head as she put everything away into the kitchen. "Is she sleeping?" She turned to look at Sirius over her shoulder as she posed the question.
"Yes. We've been able to get some rest on and off since last night." He admitted with a heavy sigh, both hands running over his face as he moved to take the seat besides James at his kitchen nook. He felt exhausted and chalked it up to the stress of losing his brother - no matter how distant they were.
"Dumbledore doesn't want you going on any missions this week, mate. Romina, same goes for her. We'll have another meeting next Sunday and go from there. We want you both to take the time you need." James told him, offering his friend a firm and comforting hand on the shoulder.
"A part of me wants to go and see my parents and see if they're doing okay. Pretty fucked up, right?" Sirius looked down at his lap before letting out a laugh. "They're awful people. But Reggie was...he was their favorite." He shrugged before continuing, "But if they realized he was somewhat of a traitor like his disgraced big brother, I'm sure they won't be bothered by his death."
Lily frowned, watching her fiancé offer his best friend a comforting hug. Sirius had gladly accepted and leaned against James after letting out a small sob. "He was still my brother."
"I know he was." James told him in earnest, one hand rubbing Sirius' back in a comforting manner.
"And nobody is mad at you for being upset, you know. The whole order understands that he was your brother. Your blood...no matter what side of the war he was on." Lily offered softly, leaning over to gently brush some hair from Sirius' forehead once he sat up and wiped his face clean of the tears he had just been crying.
"Thanks Lils." Sirius offered her a smile before he leaned back against the bench and let out a puff of air.
James and Lily ended up leaving not long after and while Sirius was grateful for them showing up for him, and Romina, he couldn't help but feel relief when they left. He leaned forward with his elbows against the table and just let it all out. It surprised him that there were still tears left to cry because he had felt completely dried out about the situation.
"Siri?"
Romina had woken up not too long after James and Lily left. She had no idea the couple had stopped by because they had been so carefully quiet. Once she got to the side of the kitchen nook, she moved to sit down and rest her head on his shoulder. As her arm wrapped around his middle and she held herself close against him, Romina made the decision to keep quiet and just provide him with the comfort of holding him.
They were both suffering and she knew no words would be able to change the fact that Regulus was dead and gone.
"I'm sorry, Mina. I want to be strong for you. I-" Sirius started, sniffling and wiping at his nose with the back of his hand as he looked over to her.
"Don't speak." She whispered back, tightening her grasp on him. She pressed her lips against his cheek, nuzzling the side of his face as he opened his arms to bring her in closer. "You don't need to be strong for me, Sirius. It's okay. He was your brother and my best friend. We both loved him." She told him, her head now coming to rest on his shoulder again as she slid both of her legs over one of his as he cradled her with one arm.
"It's okay to not be okay." She continued, tears filling her own eyes. "It took me a long time to come to terms with that."
"We were never allowed to feel like this. Show emotion, I mean." Sirius sighed heavily, turning his head a bit to look down at her. "But I know you understand how that is. And I can't believe I'm still struggling with that. I mean I've been out of that house for years and still I let that woman ruin me."Sirius swiped at his cheek to stop the tears from dropping onto her. "And I couldn't save him from that. I should have taken him with me. Kicking and screaming because I know he wouldn't have gone quietly." He laughed after saying that last bit, earning a soft chuckle from Romina as well.
"Things happen for a reason. It's a very unfortunate thing to say in a time like this, but it's true." She lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him. She knew they hadn't discussed what she had admitted to him the night before and couldn't decide whether or not that was a good thing. She offered him a weak smile before bringing her lips down to his. "We have each other." She whispered against his lips, "Which is something that Regulus was happy about in the end."
Sirius kissed her back firmly, brushing hair back from her face before he leaned his forehead against hers. "Look, Romina, I-"
"You don't have to say anything. I don't want you saying something that you'll regret later. It's okay." She forced herself to smile, knowing that deep down all she wanted to do was just the complete opposite. "I'm going to run the shower. I feel a bit grimey after laying in bed all day." She told him, pecking his lips again quickly before she pulled herself out of his grasp and headed to the bathroom.
Once she was gone, Sirius grabbed himself a cranberry muffin that Lily had left on the counter and stood in silence as he ate every last morsel. He hadn't had long to think about it but he knew what he felt for Romina was real. He knew that the very sacred four-letter word was something he had always been afraid of.
Sirius Black never thought that he was good enough to ever be loved. Atleast not truly, deeply loved. He had spent countless hours with as many girls as he could during his Hogwarts days. It certainly helped pass the time, but after that very first kiss with Romina he knew he was done for. He had felt something so new, so light, begin to blossom within his chest and he had never know what it was called.
When he heard the shower turn off, he looked up and realized he had been standing there in a trance for quite some time. Dusting off the crumbs from his fingertips, Sirius cleaned up the counter and made his way to the bedroom. Romina sat herself on the edge of the bed, wrapped tightly in a soft fluffy bath robe. He could not help but smile gently at her as she began brushing through her hair. Even with red-rimmed eyes that had no doubt been crying for the past almost twenty-four hours, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on.
He took tentative steps closer to her, slowly sitting beside her. "I want to say something, Mina." He cleared his throat, turning to look at her as she stopped brushing her hair. "And before you stop me, I want you to know that what I'm about to say is not something I would ever regret. Ever. Do you understand?"
She stayed silent and only nodded in response. Her mind was swirling around with the wonder of what he could be about to tell her. He looked terrified and she immediately felt guilty. She felt like she had forced him into talking about his feelings and she felt horrible at the idea.
"Romina, I care about you. Fiercely." Sirius reached forward and grabbed both of her hands in his. They always fit so perfectly together, like her hands were made just for his. The smooth feeling of her skin helped calm him down, the idea of saying something wrong no longer a worry in his mind now. "Even when we were younger, I always cared. Of course Reggie was your chosen favorite." He offered up a weak laugh, rubbing his thumbs against the back of her hands. He refused to take his eyes off of her. The reality was he was scared that if he looked away, she was disappear. He held onto her, desperate to keep her near.
"But I never stopped caring. I know there were all those years of me being a prick. And I will never fully be able to apologize for my behavior, it's something that I'm always going to do until the end of our time together, which I hope is never..."he looked down at their hands for a moment as he paused. He smiled a bit and brought both of her hands to his lips. He kissed one knuckle on each hand before pulling back to look at her. "Which brings me to the guts of my little speech here." He let their connected hands drop to the bed between them.
Romina remained silent throughout it all. She gripped his hands tight in return, showing him that she was fully engaged in everything he was telling her. She couldn't help but laugh softly - Regulus really was her favorite. They were thick as thieves, atleast they had been for a long time. But the feeling she felt for both of the Black brothers could not measured by simply love and hate. She loved Regulus, yes, but she had never been in love with him.
The future she saw with Regulus was that of two best friends, raising families together both in their separate, respective households. It had taken a long time to get here, but now, the future Romina saw with Sirius was something different. It was full of passion, love, and loyalty. It was full of one household - one shared roof to raise children in a world free from the Dark Lord and his followers. Most of that was something she had always dreamed about. The point that it was with Sirius Black now was new, but it was welcomed with open and enthusiastic arms.
Letting go of one of her hands, Sirius brought his hand to her face. He gently cupped the side of her face and leaned over to kiss her firmly. "Last night, when I heard you say that you loved me...my whole world stopped for the second time in one night. The first time it happened was because of an awful reason, one that made me feel a dark cloud swarm over my head." He moved his hand to the side of her neck, gently tickling against her soft skin before he moved some of her wet hair from his reach. "But the second time... when you said those three words. That dark cloud burst open and all I could see was the brightest sun I could ever imagine. And you. You're..." he took in a deep breath and leaned his forehead against hers. "You're everything to me now, Mina. Everything. And I've been such a fool for far too long."
Romina leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. Her free hand moved to grab onto his forearm, shifting closer to him on the edge of the bed. "Sirius-"
She was cut off but his lips pushing back against hers one more time. Sirius was smiling as he pulled back, making sure to meet her gaze before he spoke up.
"I love you, too."
As he spoke the words, the ones she had never truly thought he'd be able to even utter to her, Romina closed her eyes and brought her forehead down against his.
"I have been selfish for far too long. Truly, I love you. I love everything about you, you know except the things that I hate." Sirius smirked, earning a playful smack against his chest as Romina pulled back to look at him. "You are fiercely loyal. You are kind, and understanding, and you are so very strong. You went through so much to get out of a bad situation, something that was worse than my own." His hand moved to gently cup the side of her face. His thumb swiped at her skin, removing the fresh tear that slipped from behind her eye.
"Even after everything that my brother had put you through, you were still loyal to him. While it was unbeknownst to the world, especially to me," he moved his fingers to take through her hair and push the damp strands out of his face, "it shows what kind of person you are. You are the best person I know." He leaned closer and caught her lips in a soft kiss.
Romina was full on crying now. The stress and sadness of the last days events all coming to an end the moment Sirius had told her that he loved her. Her lips molded in with his, her hands fighting against the trembling as she placed them on either side of his face. The moment the kiss began to deepen, their lips parting and tongues escaping from behind teeth to steal a taste, Romina gathered the courage to quickly part her legs and straddle his waist.
Sirius let out a grunt of surprise at the sudden position change. One hand stayed on her cheek as the other moved to help stabilize her by gripping her hip. He had almost forgotten that she was bare beneath the robe. The taste of her on his tongue was almost too much to bear and as he pulled away, though they were still close as their chests heaved with heavy breaths, "Say it again." Romina whispered, her breath ghosting across his face.
Sirius' lips turned up into a smile. He moved both hands to her face now, sucking in a breath as he felt her hips press down against his, "I love you."
No sooner did those three words leave his lips did Romina wrap her arms around his shoulders and kiss him. This one was quick because she had pulled back and met his gaze. "I love you, Sirius Black. I want all of you. Please."
It had taken a moment or two for Sirius to understand what she meant. "Are you sure?" He questioned, never wanting to take advantage of the woman he loved.
"Yes. Yes, I'm sure. Please."
His hands moved from her face slowly, tracing his fingertips along her jawline and down the column of her neck. Every move he made sent shivers down her spine, the goosebumps spread quickly along her shoulders and top of her chest. Once his hands made their way to her chest, he slowly pulled at the opening of her robe. His eyes remained on hers to gauge her reaction. It seemed he was doing all the right things because her eyes shut slowly and her head fell back as more and more of her flesh became on display.
Soon the robe had been pushed from her shoulders and as she moved to pull her arms from the sleeves, the top half of her body was now no longer hidden. Sirius let his eyes travel, slowly, taking in all of her. One of his hands gently grazed her right breast before slipping along her bare abdomen, his left grabbed the side of her face and brought her lips down against his.
Romina busied her hands now, moving to pull at the bottom hem of Sirius' shirt. Their lips parted for a moment as the material passed his head and shoulders, Romina tossing it into one big ball on the floor behind her. Their lips met again, both desperate to feel the other. Soon, Sirius had flipped them around and leaned over Romina as she landed onto her back on the mattress.
"I'm going to take care of you, Mina. I promise." He told her, his voice hoarse and barely above a whisper as he moved to untie the robe and let the rest of the material fall away. He sucked in a breath now as he looked down at her, taking her in - in all of her glory.
A deep red color took over her cheeks, Romina almost going to press her thighs together and cover her chest before Sirius' hands caught her wrists. He was gentle yet firm and shook his head, "Please don't hide yourself. You are so beautiful." He told her, leaning down to kiss her lips gently before his kisses traveled further down her jaw, her neck and finally her chest. His lips peppered kisses along the tops of her breasts before he traveled further south.
His hands moved along the outside of her thighs as his lips began kissing the inside of one thigh before moving to the other. Romina gasped at how close he was to her core, never having been this intimate with anyone other than herself. Her head lifted quickly when she felt his tongue swipe against her folds, staring down at him in shock. "Siri!" She all but shouted down at him, before he began a deeper pursuit of her pleasure. Her head flew back down into the bed as a moan escaped from her lips, her hands awkwardly resting on her stomach before she finally felt confident to rake her fingers through his hair.
A few moments later Sirius began his journey back up so that he could be face to face with Romina. They smiled at eachother and with confidence given to her by the silent urging of his gentle eyes, Romina reached down and pushed at the waistband of both of his pajama bottoms and underwear. She maintained eye contact with him and began biting nervously at her bottom lip when he leaned up and away from her to shimmy the rest of the way out of his clothing.
When she caught sight of him she let out of a soft gasp. She had no idea what to do and the nerves were starting to filter through but before she could get lost in the chaos of her own mind, Sirius' lips found hers. He was gentle yet passionate, resting one hand on the side of her face. "Are you scared?" He whispered down to her, nuzzling the tip of his nose against her cheek before kissing down her neck.
"Terrified." She admitted quickly. And even though she felt scared, her body relaxed beneath his touch. "But only of being a disappointment. I'm not scared that you're going to hurt me or anything." She told him as he lifted his lips from her neck to meet her gaze.
"You could never be a disappointment. I just want you to relax and enjoy yourself. You'll learn all about what you like and what you don't like soon enough." Sirius let out a soft laugh, playfully wagging his eyebrows up and down at her before capturing her lips in another kiss. He pulled away just enough to reach to the side of the bed and whisper a charm she had never heard before, assuming it was a contraceptive of sorts. As he tossed the wand off the side of the bed, he brought his hands to her thighs and massaged in slow circles.
Every time he touched her, Romina felt like his fingertips were balls of fire. The warmth, the burn, it was all so good. Her hands moved to his face as she held him there to begin another kiss, immediately deepening it as she felt his fingers graze her untouched flesh. There was a warmth pooling between her thighs and the moment she felt the weight of his fully erect member pressing against her inner thigh, inching dangerously close to where she truly needed him, she wasn't sure she could handle it.
The kiss broke for a moment, Sirius drawing all of his attention onto her face as he moved one hand down to direct the tip of his hard length to her entrance. She was more than ready for him and so he took his time pressing forward, slowly sinking into her and allowing a moan to escape his lips. The feeling of her walls stretching around him was indescribable, but he knew he couldn't let himself get too far gone. One hand rested on her hip while the other rested against the bed beneath them. "Merlin, you feel amazing."
Romina had initially gasped at the intrusion, pressing her head back into the mattress as she felt him enter her. She had no bloody clue what to do with her hands and while they fisted the sheets around her, the stinging sensation between her thighs slowly began to become dull. It wasn't as sharp as it was the moment he first breeched her sacred entrance, but it was still a slight bother.
"Hey." Sirius whispered, pushing in further as slow as he could manage before he went as far as he could. He was now fully inside of her, his hips pressing down into hers. "Look at me. Mina, please." He whispered his pleas.
Romina lifted her head back up, her eyes fluttering open to meet his once more. "I'm okay." She told him quickly, already knowing that he was worried she was in too much pain. To be honest, she had always imagined that her first time having sex would be awful and painful that she would never want to remember it. But now, being here and being with Sirius, she felt the complete opposite.
When he began to move his hips back, thrusting slowly forward to meet her hips with his, Romina let out a soft moan. Her hands moved to either side of his face as she had latched her legs around his waist. With every slow thrust, her body pressed further into the mattress, holding onto him firmly. Sirius had brought his lips down to meet hers in a gentle kiss, letting her set the pace for everything else other than the speed of his hips.
"I love you." He had whispered against her mouth, his hand that had remained on her thigh traveled down and up, gently grasping the soft flesh of her backside as he began to speed up. He was still holding a lot back from her, but that didn't matter. The feeling was still there. She probably had no idea what she was doing to him, her walls squeezing him with each thrust and tightening the coil in both of their bellies.
Romina let her hands venture down his neck, over his broad shoulders, and down his arms before gripping onto his sides. She could feel the pressure inside of her building up and couldn't hold in her noises anymore. Her lips broke free from his as she let out a moan louder than she would have liked, a blush dusting across her cheeks as Sirius stared down at her with a smirk.
"Y-you can go faster." She told him, swallowing down another moan as she felt him hit that secret spot within her walls. Her toes began to curl tightly as her thighs tightened around his waist. She could feel the warm ball in her stomach wind up tighter and tighter as his hips began to speed up, almost a bruising pace compared to how they had started. It didn't take long at all for Romina to throw her head back once more and let out a whimper. A soft cry slipping from behind her round lips as she finally reached her climax. This feeling was almost indescribable, but if she had to put it into words, Romina would say she felt like she was flying without a broomstick.
It was magical. Sirius catered to her every want and need, peppering the side of her neck with soft kisses as she rode out her orgasm, Sirius' not too far behind. He could feel the pressure inside of him raise higher and higher and the force of Romina's rough kiss pushed him over the edge. As she forcefully parted his lips with hers, tongue shooting out to taste him, Sirius released his seed within her still-fluttering walls, her body milking him for everything he had.
"Fuck." He grunted, pulling his lips from hers so he could collapse his face into the crook of her neck. The muscles in his arms and shoulders were beginning to feel fatigued, the high of his orgasm must have shot off signs of the need for immediate relaxation because as he began to pull out of her, Sirius quickly rolled to the side and laid on the bed beside her. The last thing he wanted to do was collapse ontop of her post-orgasm and crush her. That certainly would not be a great first time. He had wanted everything about this to be perfect.
Romina quickly rolled over to her side so she could wrap an arm around Sirius' waist, cuddling into his side as he looped his own arm around her shoulders. The only noise that could be heard was the mixture of their heavy breathing, both still taking some time to come down from their high. Moving her hand to his chest, Romina lifted her head and looked down at Sirius with a smile. She didn't say anything. She didn't need to. Not really.
The emotion she was feeling was displayed publicly on her face and in her eyes that welled up with tears. She slowly leaned down and pressed her lips against his. Sirius kissed back slowly, one hand cupping the side of her face as he held her close. Sirius had never been one to cuddle post-sex but it seemed this was a night of firsts for both of them.
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Figured I made you guys wait long enough for some action between our two lovebirds 😏
longest I've ever gone without smut because I'm a dirty bird.
let me know your thoughts!
love you all
xx
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