Chapter 18
Katniss P.O.V.
"Where are you going?" I ask Peeta as he gets up out of bed. He turns around to face me and gives me a confused look.
"I have training today."
"You're still going to go?"
"I have to, Katniss."
"Just let me talk to Haymitch about it first."
"Katniss."
"You told me last night…"
"I know," Peeta interrupts. "But it's not going to do any good because if Coin was going to changer her mind, she would have by now. Anyways, I want to go."
"Peeta. Please stop saying that."
"Why? It's the truth. Don't worry about me. I'll be fighting for you. For our baby. For us. I'll be fine," Peeta tells me. "I have to go now."
I nod my head, and Peeta leans over to give me a kiss.
"I'll see you later, Katniss. I love you."
"I love you too."
Peeta gives me one more quick kiss before leaving the room.
I take a deep breath and look over at Wyatt to see that he's waking up.
"Mama."
"Did you sleep good?" I ask Wyatt in a soft voice as I pick him up.
I sit back down on the bed with Wyatt in my arms. He places his little hands on my big belly, and the baby kicks. Wyatt's eyes widen and he looks up at me with a fearful expression on his face.
"It's okay," I tell Wyatt before he starts to cry. "It's just the baby." He continues to look at me with watery eyes. "Can you say 'baby?'"
"Buh. B-Buh," Wyatt tries, but eventually gives up and looks over at me.
"Baby," I say again.
"Be-be."
I laugh and nod my head a little bit. "Close enough."
Wyatt pokes my stomach, and the baby kicks again. Wyatt gives me a confused look before looking back at my stomach. He then pulls my shirt up just enough where he can see my belly.
"Be-be?" Wyatt says.
"Yeah," I say softly as I nod my head. "Baby."
The baby kicks so hard this time that I can see the out line of their foot through my stomach. Wyatt pokes the spot where the baby's foot is, and then he or she moves their foot to the other side of my stomach.
Wyatt continues to play this little game with the baby until I feel like every inch of my stomach has been poked.
"Okay. Okay," I laugh as I pull my shirt back down over my stomach.
Wyatt gasps and looks up at me with wide eyes.
"What?" I ask him. "Where did the baby go?"
"Be-be?"
"Yeah," I say. "Were you trying to get the baby's foot?" Wyatt giggles and shoves his fist into his mouth.
"Come on," I tell Wyatt as I carefully stand up off the bed with him in my arms. "Let's go get some food."
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"Where's Wyatt?" Peeta asks as he walks through the door.
"Mom took him for a while since she doesn't have to be back at the hospital until later tonight. She said she'll bring him back in a few hours," I tell Peeta. "So, how was training?"
"Okay I guess," Peeta tells me as he shrugs his shoulders. "I was alright today if that's what you were asking."
"Yeah," I say as I nod my head at him.
I stand up off the bed and take a deep breath. Peeta smiles at me.
"What?" I ask him defensively.
"Nothing," Peeta says as he shakes his head at me. "This just feels weird."
I give him a look. "What feels weird?"
"It's just… We haven't been alone since I was rescued from the Capitol."
"Yeah. So?"
Peeta doesn't say another word. Instead, he walks over and takes my face in his hands.
He catches me off guard, but I instantly kiss him when I feel his lips on mine. Peeta gently pushes me back down onto the bed by my shoulder, and he follows me as I lean back onto the pillows. Peeta moves so he's not squishing my belly, but then he pulls back to look at me.
"What's wrong?" I ask him.
"Sit up," Peeta says. I give him a look, but do as he asked me to do.
Peeta takes all the pillows on the bed and props them up behind my back.
"How's that feel?"
"Better," I reply as I lean back against the stack of pillows.
"Good," Peeta says. "I want you to be as comfortable as possible."
I laugh a little bit. "I haven't been comfortable for a few weeks."
"Well, I want you to be as comfortable as you can get then," Peeta says before he leans back over me.
He puts his hands on the bed on either side of me before kissing me again. I wrap my arms around Peeta's neck as the baby begins to tumble around inside of my belly. Peeta's hands go to my growing stomach as he continues to kiss me.
The hunger continues to build up in me, but I don't know how far Peeta will want to go for now.
He suddenly pulls back to look at me. Peeta shuts his eyes real tight and starts breathing heavily.
"Peeta?" I say cautiously. He tries to move himself away from me, but ends up still leaned over me while clutching the sheets on the bed.
"Peeta? What's going on?" He doesn't answer. "Peeta, can you hear me?"
He swallows hard and then looks up at me.
"I'm alright," he breathes out.
"Peeta, what happened?"
"It's nothing, Katniss," Peeta says as he sits back down on the bed beside of me.
"Don't say that, Peeta. It's not nothing. This is happening too often for it to be nothing."
"Katniss, please don't worry about me because I am fine."
"Well, I beg to differ."
"I know how I feel, and I feel fine."
"It doesn't matter how you are feeling at the moment, Peeta. I hate to say this, but you are not okay."
"Yes I am. Please quit worrying about me."
"I can't," I tell him truthfully as I shake my head. "Just like how you can't quit worrying about me and the baby."
"That's different."
"How is it any different?"
"It just is, Katniss."
I take a deep breath and move closer to Peeta.
"If you'd just tell me what's going on, maybe I could help you."
"I don't need help, Katniss."
"Peeta, I just meant that…"
Peeta suddenly grabs my face and kisss me fiercely on the lips.
"Please stop," Peeta says before he kisses me once more. "Please. You can't fix this. Quit trying to figure out a way to make it better."
"I'm just trying to help."
"I know," Peeta tells me. "I know. But you have to give it up, Katniss. Quit worrying about me. Let's just enjoy these few minutes that we have alone for right now."
I nod my head, and Peeta pulls me close to him once again.
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"Stop," I laugh as Wyatt pokes my belly a few times.
"Be-be."
"Yes. There's a baby in there, but you can't be poking on my belly all the time."
Peeta laughs and sits down beside of me on the bed.
"Can you feel the baby moving around in there?"
"We got to see the baby's foot this morning," I tell Peeta.
He looks over at me and smiles widely. "Really?"
"Mhm."
Peeta pulls my shirt up over my stomach and rubs his thumb over the taut skin.
"Come on little baby," Peeta whispers as he presses his lips to my stomach. "Can you kick for Daddy?"
It takes a few minutes, but the baby finally gives a small kick.
"Come on," Peeta says. Eventually, the baby's foot appears on the left side of my stomach. Peeta smiles brightly and looks up at me.
"That's amazing," Peeta says quietly.
I laugh a little and nod my head a bit. Wyatt lays his hand on my stomach over the baby's foot.
I close my eyes and bask in this feeling of having a close to perfect family. Then I realize thay we may never even have a family.
Yes, we have a baby who will be here in a few months, but if something were to happen to Peeta while he's in the Capitol…
I sniffle as the tears form in my eyes. Peeta looks up and gives me a sad smile.
"You okay?" Peeta asks me as he gently lays a hand on my cheek. I nod my head as the tears fall down my cheeks.
"It's going to be okay," Peeta tells me softly.
I nod my head and swallow hard as I close my eyes.
"I'm scared," I finally admit.
"Scared of what?"
"Of losing you," I sob. I curl over my stomach as the sobs wrack my body, leaving me breathless. This makes Wyatt suddenly burst into tears too. Peeta scoops him up in his arms before turning to comfort me again.
Peeta places a hand on my back as he presses his lips to my temple.
"Shh. It's okay. You're alright. I'm right here. I'm okay."
I begin to gag from the lack of air, and my head is hurting.
"Katniss, please calm down before you make yourself sick. I'm not leaving you. You're not going to lose me at all."
"You don't know that," I say through heavy breaths.
"Katniss, even if something does happen to me it doesn't mean that you've lost me," Peeta tells me. "I'm always going to be with you even when I'm not actually here."
I look up at him with teary eyes and swallow hard.
"And I promise I will always be with you too."
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