~ ~ Cameron ~ ~

Nobody needed to point out the fact that I was an overthinker and I'd been stuck inside my head all freaking day and landing home I was mentally and physically wrung out.

My eyes dropped to a handbag on the floor as I closed the door behind me.

Bea was here.

My head pulled up and I could see Finn's bedroom door was open and her sexy moans permeated my ears.

I swallowed, my stomach turning inside out, knowing that they were in his room and most likely fucking.  It was gut wrenching and arousing at the same time.

Best way to describe it—Jealousy arguing with lust

And truthfully, it was a bit of a mind-fuck because I knew what may have started as just sex between the three of us was now more—so much more.

Feelings.

Finn told me he loved me.  Had been in love with me for the last four years.  I still hadn't processed it.

Did I love him?  Was I in love with him? Did my feelings go beyond sex?

Feelings and fucking were tides apart and if someone had told me I'd be in this position I would have told them to go fuck themselves. 

But here I was, and it was messing with my head big time.

And if I wanted to keep Bea and yes, Finn too, then I had to sort my shit out upstairs and quick sharp.

This was a relationship outside of sex and outside of friendship.

There's no confusing my feelings for Bea.  She's everything. It had washed me out to sea when she'd left, left floating on a life raft for so long that I'd forgotten what it felt like to be on land. But the second she came back—Bang, home and dry.

Bea's the beginning and the end.  And as corny as it sounds, she fucking completes me and yeah, I'm talking in a Jerry Maguire and all that sappy shit kind of way.

No one has ever compared, and I'd never felt half of the emotion or lust for anyone other than Bea.

Until Finn.

And Bea, making it clear she was waiting for me to realise I had feelings for him flicked the imaginary switch inside my head.

It scared a part of me shitless. I'd wanted her to tell me it was wrong to feel anything other than friendship for him.  That it was just me and her.  But just one look had said it all. She glowed as if someone had lit a candle inside her head. And now it left me with little choice but to navigate this minefield of emotions and the consequences that come with it.

How the fuck do people handle being part of a... for a better word, a triangle or triad?

I'm not shy in admitting I've googled the shit out of it... the poly lifestyle.

And to throw in more conflict and confusion into the mix. There's my family. My dad hit the roof when he heard me and my sister talking tonight about Finn and I sharing Bea.  He lectured me on the moral and societal expectations, and I'd sat there like a dumb teenager instead of a thirty-two-year-old bloke telling him it was none of his goddamn business.

What the fuck was gonna happen if he found out about me and Finn?

My stomach curled in on itself.

When I'd told my parents about the assault. My dad wasn't afraid in telling me what he thought of gay men and what he called the perverted nature of same-sex relationships. 

At first, he'd kept asking me if I'd done anything that made Seb think I was gay.  Like it was my fault my best friend had raped me.

He would ask questions and then sit there telling himself there was no way he could ever have a 'gay son.'

Not that I was gay or even bi. I'd never been attracted to men.  And I'd put a brick wall separating feelings and sex between me and Finn, never pinning any sort of label on it... or me. It was two guys fucking—not gay.

But I'm in no doubt my dad would disown me if he knew what was going through my head now.

Would Finn be okay to keep what went on between us behind closed doors?  Forever? Was that fair to him—or Bea?

Could I choose between him and my family?

And if I chose my family, would Bea choose me?  And that's my biggest fear.

Her choosing Finn.

Finn said he would never make me choose. I could have it all, he'd said.

But in the real world, does anyone ever have it all?

Groaning. I pinched the bridge of my nose, blowing out a breath. There's no way I can sort this shit out in one night and I'm gonna have to talk to them—together. I can't keep bottling this up.

Dropping my keys, I headed toward Finn's room.  They're both naked, glued together and my heart catapulted to my throat.  Swallowing it down, I leaned up against the door and ignored the urge to pull them apart.  Instead, I hung back and watched. 

Fuck, I couldn't deny it was hot watching them together.  And it's no shocker that my dick tightened uncomfortably in my pants and the memory of me sucking him off in the shower replayed itself. 

Did I like it?

At first, I was focused on making sure he enjoyed it, but once I got the hang of it, yeah, I liked it.

Being with Finn was different and yet the same.  And since the night we went to the club, I'd noticed him in a whole different light. And it's not just physically. It's his eyes which now draw and hold me in place, flirty with an inner fire that flare into roaring flames when he's turned on.

Yea, I'd admit to noticing so much more about Finn, to the point I stared when he's not watching.

Fuck! Why was all this so goddamn difficult?  I'm turned on by him one minute and then confused as fuck the next?

Tuning my focus back to them, they still hadn't noticed me, but he's sharing the moment he came down my throat.

"He's lying." Both their heads flicked in my direction.  I tried to keep emotion out of my tone. "Let's say it's a work in progress."  But the way Bea was looking at me, I did a piss-poor job of hiding it.

I'm transparent where she's concerned. Bea could read me the same way I can read her.  It's always been the same—in tune... sync.  And most likely the reason she knew there was something between me and Finn before I did.

Fucking relax. I forced a breath and unclenched my jaw.

Eyes on Bea.  There's a heat in her eyes that she doesn't hide. In the past, she used to make me believe I was her entire world. But right now, that's not the case.

Shaking off the nagging doubt, they're both watching, waiting for me to say something. Tiredness was replaced by buzzing energy. I pushed down my jealously and leaned toward the uprising of arousal and spoken half-truths.

"Seeing you two here naked. Fuck, that's hot."  My voice choked with a mixture of indecision and anticipation.  It certainly had my heart sprinting and my pulse flaring.

Bea dragged her bottom lip through her teeth.

"Perfect timing," said Finn. My eyes briefly flicked to watch his lips curve up, both cocky and sexy.

Distance gone, I lifted my hand to skim down Bea's arm, over her waist and around cupping her arse.  "Is he hard, Bea?"  I knew the answer.

"Yes," replying in a breathy whisper.

I leaned in and nipped her bottom lip, not too rough.  I never want to be rough with Bea.  I shifted my attention to Finn, fetching my hand up to latch onto the back of his neck, bringing our foreheads together.  Holding him tightly in place, I wanted to be rough, take control of him... own him—and that's what I did.

It's the type of kiss that's dangerous and flared everything inside me, turning my confusion into need.  He gasped as I inched back, but close enough, I felt his breath heating my lips.

"Tell me Finn, did you get our girl wet?"

He drew a rough breath.

I didn't stop there. "Wet enough for me to bend her over the bed and slip my cock right inside her tight, hot cunt?"

Finn's hand skated up her thighs. "Fuck yeah, soaking." His voice was deep, rough.

I slammed my mouth into his, listening to him groan. My hand itched to wrap around his dick as I slowed my assault, sucking on his lip.  Then I turned my attention back to Bea.  "I want to watch you two fuck."

It wasn't a request.

I need to see what she looks like when he makes her come.  Did she prefer fucking him?

A rush of anger railed through me. Why the fuck was I torturing myself? Honestly, couldn't tell you. 

My dick wanted nothing more than to fuck her... and him, and ignore all the crap that's running around my head.

But I couldn't switch it off.

I want her.  I want him. 

But I'm not sure if I can do all three of us together—long term.

Looking back at Finn, his eyes darkened, and he didn't need to be asked twice to fuck her. I turned toward Bea, letting my eyes settle on her face. She looked fucking beautiful, cheeks flushed, eyes slightly glazed.

My hand pushed through her thick hair and my mouth sealed over hers. She kissed me back just as eager.

Easing back just enough to see them both, Finn's watching us and as if he's reading my thoughts his hands on my chest fisting my shirt, pulling us together landing his mouth on mine and I was desperate to kiss, taste him again.

It's like he fucking knows how I'm feeling and wants exactly what I want. His tongues fought with mine, but he relents first. 

I heard Bea sigh happily as her hand ran up my arm and it forced met to focus. "If you don't fuck her soon, then I will."

A lazy smile crossed his face with me taking two steps back, pulling at my tie to loosen it.

And I watched them. Finn's hands were in Bea's hair, his lips on hers, both groaning and their need for each other tears at something inside and I'm both exited and tortured watching.

My body was just as fucked up as my head right now.

"I want your perfect arse up in the air," Finn instructed her before his chin flicked up in my direction, searching my eyes to check I'm good.

Watching him with her, seeing them together, I don't doubt his feelings for her.  And I haven't had time to process that yet either.  Could all three people in a relationship want each other equally?

I forced my attention to Bea as both seem to wait on me.  I lifted my chin slightly in a nod. "Do as the man said, Bea."

I waited for the stab of jealously, but it's quiet...for now.

"Go around the side of the bed, Bea."  I pointed, because I needed to see her face.  Finn followed her, his dick bobbing with each step, and I swallowed back my instinct to lick my lips.

Without stopping he pressed his body flush against her back, barely breathing space between them as he used his injured hand to swipe away her loose hair exposing her neck. His tongue flicked out tasting her skin but he's watching me.

Bea's head tilted, lips parting as her chest rose and fell.

"Do you like him watching us, Trix?" asked Finn.

Pause.

"I do... yes."

They both had eyes on me as I stood watching.

He added, "I'm gonna bend you over and spread your legs wide and he's gonna watch me lick you until you cry and listen to you beg me to fuck you."

His hand reached around and pinched her nipple, biting down on her shoulder forcing her to gasp. 

I burned like you wouldn't believe to join them and it took every ounce of self-control to stay put.

He stopped attacking her shoulder, shifting, letting his eyes run over her curves. With his uninjured hand he eased her forward to kneel on the bed.  Bea dropped her hands and now she rested on all fours, glancing over her shoulder to watch him.

Finn let out a slow breath as he licked his lips nudging her legs wider and he knelt behind her, lifting his hand to run through her wetness, he leant forward to take an unhurried lap of her exposed pussy. "Hmm, I could fucking eat you all day."

Bea groaned, facing forward, head dropping slightly, her eyes falling closed.

"Eyes on me Bea."  Her eyes popped, focusing on me.  "No matter what Finn's doing to you—you watch me."   She gave a slow nod of her head.

Finn was no rush as I widened my stance, tilting my head.

"Fuck, Finn...just...yes...." Bea pushed back, breathy, grinding on his face as he part groaned part growled.

The colour in Bea's cheeks rose and I tensed suddenly feeling trapped in my clothes. Having loosened my tie, I pulled it free and flipped a button at a time on my shirt, keeping my eyes on them.

"Is he good Bea... do you like Finn's tongue working over your clit and fucking your pussy?"

"Christ, yes," she gasped. "—Don't stop."

"Use your fingers too, Finn," I side stepped, moving another step closer, undoing the belt on my pants. I could see better from this angle. Bea twisted her head to follow me.  Finn slid two fingers in smoothly all the way as he shifted his tongue up to lick and suck her puckered arsehole.

My spine twitched and my arse tightened with second-hand sensations as I remembered him doing the same to me.

Had I liked it? Hell yeah!

Bea let out a wordless cry, as she struggled to keep her eyes on mine, glazing over.  "Need more... please..." Finn pulled back slightly, adding another finger he thrust in and out roughly, propelling Bea's body and jostling her tits. A small grunted mewl escaped her throat with each pump of his hand. 

"C'mon Trix...give me what I want..." said Finn, his tone brash and demanding.

Bea raised her head up, lips parted, eyelashes fluttering as she squirmed, her cries becoming louder.

"Fuck, yeah that's it..." he didn't hide his swaggering smirk throwing it my way.

He'd hit her sweet spot as her hands fisted the sheets, head dropping, and I couldn't see her face.  She shuddered. "Fuck Finn, fuck, yes...there, Finn...nearly...I'm—"

"You want it?" he asked, loving that she was coming apart for him.

"Ah-hu" she muttered, head lifting seeking me out.  The colour from her cheeks spread down her throat across her tits.

Part of me wanted to push him away bury myself in her pussy, make her cry out my name and I was rock-hard as I stripped out of my pants and boxers, my erection sprang free, arching up, throbbing.

Finn's eyes lifted, then fell on my cock.  Lust flared across his face as his gaze worked its way up. "I'm not hearing any begging, Finn. Do you need to take over?"

His eyebrows and top lip lifted. Throwing him the challenge just spurred him on. He spread her wider, his tongue now fucking her cunt just as eagerly as his fingers did a second ago.

Bea writhed and moaned as I wrapped my fingers around my dick, pumping slowly in no rush to come either.

Bea's breathing changed, panting as she bit down on her bottom lip.  "Fuck Finn... Christ yes... there... yes..."  His finger working on her clit as his tongue fucked her hole.

"Ple—please... please Finn." Head dropping for a second and then her neck arched upward and I watched her tremor, her first orgasm hitting home.  "Fuuuuk, yes!" Rocking against his mouth and hand.  She looked fucking beautiful, and my brain catalogued every sound and facial expression, most likely to dissect later.

"Please Finn... fuck me... please...now."

He lapped a few more times before lifting his head, his lips and cheeks shiny with her wetness.

He rose. "Say it again, Trix." His eyes on me.  "Tell me how much you want me."

Bea looked at me and a mix of emotions went through me.  "Do you want him to fuck you, Bea?"  She twisted her head around.  "Yes... I want you, Finn.  Please, I need you to fuck me."

Need not want. 

It was almost as if a fist landed on my chest, but Finn's eyes softened and heated, happy with her reply.

He ran a hand down her spine and paused.  Bea breathed in, her eyes more focused.  Finn's finger was circling her tight arsehole.  "Perhaps I'll fuck this beautiful arse of yours first, get it all nice and loose." His eyes lifted to watch my response.

I swallowed saying nothing.

"Nah, I think when it comes to fucking your arse, I'll wait till Cam's buried inside your cunt."  Bea groaned, obviously loving the idea of having two cocks fucking her at the same time.  "You like that idea, yeah, Trix?"

"Hmmm," she hummed.

So did I, but not today.

"Nah.  I think I want this hot pussy milking my cock right now."

The fist to my chest unfurled a little as I questioned myself.

What the fuck was I doing or trying to gain from this?

I want them both to be happy.  I want to lose myself in their happiness, be a part of it.

Fuck this shit. My body overruled my fucked-up brain. I was done watching.

Almost springing forward, I captured Finn's mouth, catching him by surprise.  The electric shock of arousal hit me hard, sucking the air from my lungs.  But he kissed me back, tasting my lips, my mouth.  I could taste Bea on him as I claimed his mouth for myself.

My hand slipped down over his smooth chest... resting briefly to feel his heart thumping against my hand.  Lower over his abs, my hand bumped his cock, and I wrapped my fingers around him. His dick was wider than mine, silky and harder than fucking bone.

I never imagined I would admire another man's dick, but here I was.

And the more I touched him. The more I wanted.

Finn groaned into my mouth as I sucked on his tongue, his hips moving, fucking into my fist.  Our kiss intensified as his hand wrapped around my dick, gripping it tightly.  His hand was feverish, and the sensation skittered over my flesh as he pumped a steady rhythm. 

Finn knew exactly how to handle my dick—better than me.

"Cam," he gulped, pulling away slightly, and I double blinked.  I twisted my head to find Bea. Smiling. She'd adjusted herself so she could watch us.

Those clear blues said more than any words... she wants to see this... me and Finn.  When we were at the club, I hadn't processed it. I just kept telling myself I was following instructions, doing what she wanted me to do. I was still repeating that when I had my dick up his arse. And earlier in the shower I told myself I was just thanking him...for what he did.

But this, here, now—this was all me.

"Fuck her. Now." Hand still wrapped around his dick, he let mine go as I shifted him into position using his cock to rub up and down her wet slit, covering it in her sweet honey.

"Fuck," they both said together.

I let him go, stepping back, to walk around the other side of the bed, moving in front of Bea to climb on the bed kneeling up.  She lifted her face and smiled seductively, drawing her tongue teasingly over her lower lip.

Taking my dick in hand. Bea sucked in a breath as Finn released one as he pushed himself inside her.

I teased my cock along her lips up her cheek before playfully slapping her cheek. She let out a small gasp, and I did it again, leaving behind pre-cum.

This time her eyebrow quirked, but her eyes were smiling.  "Open beautiful."

Her tongue flicked out, licking across my head.

"Fuck, you were made for my cock," said Finn, his eyes looking down where they joined.

I smiled slipping inside her hot mouth. "Fuck yes!" I gritted through my teeth, resisting the urge to push deeper, knowing she could take it, but I was already teetering before my dick went in.  

My body was on fire as my eyes flicked between Bea and the concentration on Finn's face as he delivered sharp quick thrusts inside of her whilst watching me.

My dick bumped the back of her throat.  It's the first time I could truly appreciate the skill that comes with sucking dick.  Both she and Finn have epic skills in that department.  Her throat relaxed, and she pulled me deeper, her throat working over my cock, sending ripples of commands to my balls as they pulled up tight. 

I should ease back but watching him fuck Bea and her devour my dick has me going with the flow.  My hands found their way into her loose hair, sliding my fingers in a circular motion as I moved my hips but still letting Bea control it.

Finn picked up his thrusts, grunting, and I got lost in the sensation, my toes curled, thighs tensed, and spine stiffened.  I came hard and fast, shooting down her throat, letting my head fall back as I panted heavily and Bea moaned around my sensitive dick, sending another flood of feeling through me.

Finn, all at once shuddered, his chest covered in a sheen of sweat rose and fell and as he cried out a guttural roar that was as primal and sexy as it got, letting himself cum inside of Bea whose eyes widened then fluttered before slowly closing.

My dick fell from Bea's lips as she expelled a breath, a shiver passed through her as her frame tightened. Looking at them both, they'd never looked so utterly breath-taking in that moment and ideas of being jealous and scared fled me.

Lowering my head, I captured Bea's cries. I wasn't sure if she was coming or not, but my tongue sought out hers, tasting myself.  I pulled back and our eyes met as the same time Finn let out a harsh cry and a fuck yeah as he rode out his release, panting.

I could do this.  I don't know how to handle this with my family, but right here, now.  I want them both. Need them both.

"I love you." I breathed. "So fucking much." Her eyes softened. "And you're never leaving me...us. You know that, right?" I slid my thumb across her heated cheek.

Shutting my eyes, I kissed her hard, hoping I don't fuck it up.  My eyes opened when I heard Finn mumble and a realisation hit me. "Shit. You didn't use anything...a condom."

A blissed out goofy smile moved over his mouth. "I'm clean. Got all my test results back."

I'd got mine the day I'd been to see Seb, but it had totally slipped my mind.  "Yeah, me too."

I looked down.  "Fuck, are you okay with this?" I asked Bea, although it was a little late now.

Her smile mirrored Finn's.  "Yeah. I'm taking contraception, so we won't have any unplanned surprises."

Bea getting pregnant wasn't something I worried about. In all honesty, I hoped kids were in our future.  Whatever that future looked like for the three of us.

And the thought of Finns cum inside Bea whilst I fucked her next did something quite weird and my dick stirred.

A little fucked up—maybe?  Was I still gonna do it?  Fuck yeah!

I lifted her face. "I need to feel you wrapped around my cock."

Her eyes met mine. "Already?" her eyes dipped and then lifted, smiling. "How do you want me?"

"I want to watch you ride me."

"Happily."

I climbed on Finn's bed, propping myself up against the headboard. Bea straddled me as Finn crawled on his bed, toward Bea. He slid his hand around her throat, twisting her toward him to steal her lips. Still kissing him, her hand found my dick, squeezing.

He let her go and moved toward me, before leaning down and sealing his lips to mine at the same time I Bea eased herself down my dick.

It was going to be a long night, but who needed sleep, right?