Early in the morning, Lixian wakes up from her sleep, feeling so warm around Luhan's embrace. This should be the best feeling ever, but this morning, everything is so different. Eventhough it feels warm outside, but inside, it feels really cold. The coldness starts freezing her heart, until she couldn't feel her heart beat. So empty.

Slowly, she gets off from the bed and walks to the bathroom. The missing of her presence suddenly wakes Luhan up. He stares at her back without saying a thing and sighs hard when she disappears to the bathroom. He doesn't know what will he say to her. Last night he made his mind to tell her the truth but it obviously will hurt her. He falls into the dilemma, into a deep confusion.

Luhan waits for Lixian to finish her bath, thinking about the explanation. But as he thinks more about it, he falls deeper into the depression. He really wants to end all of this, but he never find a way to end it. It's frustrating, leading him into craziness.

"Fuck" He curses lowly, more to himself, as he ruffles his own hair. Then suddenly the click from the door distracts him, he immediately turns his face, looking straight to Lixian.

"Xian" He whispers as he walks closer. His hand reaches out to touch her, but she takes a step back.

"Wash up first, we need to return to Shanghai" She talks but her eyes look around, avoiding his eyes. She really doesn't want to talk it now, she's still not ready.

"I will wait you outside" She continues and walks away from him.

Right after she gets out from his bedroom, she puts her palms on her chest, feeling the heartbeat of herself, so fast. This really breaks her heart, she was glancing at him before and the look on his eyes, telling her everything. He's broken.

***

The breakfast is too quiet, too awkward. Noone eats the food, they just touch it with the chopsticks, they're busy with their own thought. This silence is killing them, suffocating them.

"Lixian" Finally Luhan starts it.

"Hm?" She hums but still, her eyes avoid his. Watching her like this, Luhan feels so hopeless. Suddenly he stands up from his seat, grabbing her wrist softly. This immediately makes her look at him. Their eyes meet and in a moment, Lixian's heart skips a beat. His eyes reflect pain, his dark orbs suck her up, forcing her to experience his pain.

"I have too many things to explain, come with me" He talks, his eyes plead to her.

She says nothing but she stands up and looks up at him. Nodding to him as an agreement, she follows him to his room. His hand wraps around hers, holding it tightly, like he's scared to lose her. In reality, yes, he is so scared to lose her, because when he loses her, he loses the meaning of life.

"Will you listen to me?" Luhan talks right after he shuts the door. She just gives him a little nod and lifts her chin up, staring into his eyes. She will listen to him, not with her ears but with her heart, she will find out, not through his words but through his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I was so careless, everything just happened and I couldn't help myself" He starts, his voice trembles. Lixian just starts listening to him, but her heart already feels the pain.

"She put something to my coffee, and right after that, I lost my consciousness-----" He pauses and stares deep into her eyes, she shows no emotion.

"-----You know what happened next, right?" He continues as he bites his lips. He, himself, couldn't say it out loud, because it will break him apart. In the other hand, she just stares blankly, but she clenches her fist. She feels so mad and sad at the same time. If Jia is infront of her, she will definitely choke Jia to death.

"I know" She answers. Her voice is too low, if he didn't pay attention, he wouldn't catch it.

There, after that, noone talks, there is a long silence between them. They break into pieces, they feel pain but refuse to show it to each other. They keep it to theirselves. No words eventhough they really want to scream, no emotions eventhough they really want to cry.

"I'm scared" He talks as he breaks the eye-contact. He starts looking around, not able to see her in the eyes, because his tears threatening to fall.

"What if Jia-----" He pauses and closes his eyes frustratedly. He couldn't imagine if that girl gets pregnant, he maybe will end his life, he will never want the baby.

"Just shut up" Lixian talks calmly but her tears starts streaming down her face. She doesn't know what's inside his mind to dare talking like that infront of her. Those words will completely tear her apart.

"Han, this hurts me! That girl wins over me, in a dishonorable way, but she is still winning" Lixian cries so hard as she covers up her face. It's unfair but she could do nothing, she's losing over Jia.

"Xian" He mumbles as he pulls her into his embrace. A hard push from Lixian really hurts his heart, but he keeps hugging her, keeping her inside his embrace.

"Let me go" She raises her tone between her tears and keeps pushing him, she really wants to run away from him right now because of this ugly truth.

"I'm begging you, I'm sorry" He raises his tone as he tighten the hug, avoiding her to escape.

"Don't leave me, stay with me, I beg" He starts crying loudly, couldn't contain his sadness.

Immediately, Lixian stops crying and falls into a deep silence. She feels taken aback by his tears, never in her life she witnesses him crying except in his mother's funeral. He never shed a tears infront of her, he always be that strong man who thinks crying is just for a weak one. But now he cries, begging her to stay. This really melts her cold heart, no man cries over her like him.

"Han" She whispers, slowly she wraps her hands around his waist, hugging him back and stroking his back. The sound of him crying really crashes her heart, giving her pain.

"Sssst, I'll stay with you" She continues.

She will take any risks, she will stay with him eventhough one day, maybe, the reality will separate them away. It's better to feel pain because she chooses to stay, rather than feel the pain because she chooses to walk away. She believes, somehow love will heal the pain. People might say she's stupid, but that's how love worked. Love turns down your brain's capability, then every decision was made by your heart. It's okay to not use your brain and become a stupid, but it's not okay to not use your heart and become a heartless.

***

Noone said it will be easy, but it will be worth. That's what Lixian feels. The pain sometimes comes to visit, but the happiness that she shares with Luhan is greater than the pain. They came back to Shanghai a week ago and now they already a lovey-dovey again.

"Han, I think I will skip the work" Lixian talks after she walks out from the bathroom.

"Huh?" Luhan asks, his eyes widen but show worries.

"You sick?" He continues and she nods.

"I think I get a slight fever, but my head is hurt" She slowly walks closer to him, resting her head on his chest while hugging his waist.

"No way" Luhan mumbles and frowns. He puts his palm on her forehead and feels the burn, his brows furrowed because he worries about her. He softly strokes her hair and gives her a warm embrace. Now he really wants to stay with her, but he has a meeting today.

"Will you be alright, alone?" He asks.

"Hm, don't worry" She gives him a reassuring smile to him. Softly he stares at her and cups her face, thumbs caressing her cheek, giving her a comfort.

"Let's do the check up after my work done, okay?" He frowns to her but she chuckles at him.

"Okay, don't worry, I'm not a kid anymore" She giggles.

"But you look like one" He starts joking as he pats her head.

"What?"

"You're short, you're cute, just like a kid in elementary school" Luhan teases her and now she bulges her eyes playfully at him.

"Then you're a pedophile, having fun on the bed with a kid" She sticks out her tongue, it follows by Luhan's giggle.

"What can I do? I can't resist this kid's sexiness" He whispers with his husky voice, teasing her really hard.

"Oh my God" She talks in her girly tone as she hits his arm softly.

"You're so cute, I just want to hug you all the time, I don't want to go working" He raises his tone and makes a cute expression to her.

"But you need to go, you'll be late" She smiles at him because she feels warmth when he talked like that.

"Office without you will be boring" He pouts cutely at her and she simply tiptoes and pecks his pouty lips.

"I'll be waiting for you, work hard, hm?" She raises her brow cutely and he smiles.

"Hm" He hums and leans closer to her, giving a tender kiss to her lips. He nibbles on her lower lips for a while, just to tease her, and lastly he places a peck there.

"Rest well" He talks before he walks to the door and leaves her alone. He feels worry about her health, because in his opinion, she often gets sick and this gives him so many thought. He has a fear if she has a severe illness, just like his mother did.

***

Luhan and Lixian sit together, hands holding into each other as they wait for the result of her laboratory test. She feels tired easily, also, she feels sleepy easily. Slowly she rests her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes for rest.

"My favorite kid is sleepy" Luhan speaks up and chuckles, but his thumb strokes the back of her hand, comforting her.

"Stop it" She whines cutely, acting like the real kid now as she snuggles closer to his body.

"Look at you" He giggles as he looks at her, can't help but smiling because she is so cute.

"Hey kid" He calls her but she ignores him. He just smiles softly at her and caresses her cheek.

"Be my girlfriend, will you?" It comes too fast until it hits her hard. Eyes open, she blinks continuously, can't believe his sudden confession. Yes, he always tells her 'I love you' but he never asks her to be his. This causes a change of her heartbeat, it's thumping just like the first time he confessed. Still overwhelming, amazingly flutters her heart.

"Will you?" He whispers and now she sits straight, looking into his eyes.

"Will you?" He repeats, smiling at her. He never plans this before, it just comes out naturally, but he will never regret even if she rejects him. He needs to say it, just to show her how much he looks forward to their future. Step by step, starts from boyfriend-girlfriend, and when the situation is getting better, it could change into something better.

"Will you?" Again, he asks her, because she's still speechless.

"I----"

"Ms. Li" Lixian's words cut by the nurse. They turn their face and see the nurse there. Lixian immediately comes to get the laboratory result.

"Come on" She talks like a robot to Luhan as she walks back to the doctor's office. Somehow it turns awkward now, but she can't hide her smile. His confession wasn't romantic, or sweet, or cute, it was just spontaneous, but this really makes her heart jump, so straight forward, giving her surprise.

"I worry about the result" Luhan talks, to break the ice between them. He keeps thinking Lixian has an illness, he just thinks negatively.

Lixian just shrugs and looks away. His words start distracting her, making her think negatively. She snorts secretly because Luhan brings her mood down again, he sometimes is too innocent, telling her what's inside his mind, or maybe he is just an idiot.

As they step to the doctor's office, they sit infront of the doctor and give the laboratory test to the doctor. They stare at the doctor with nervousness. When the doctor furrows his brows, Lixian can feel her heart fall. She wants to freak out because of the doctor's expression, but she holds it by gripping on Luhan's hand.

"Everything is alright, it's just because of the pregnancy"

***

Note: I'm not conffident with this chapter, it's not well-written, forgive me everybody. I hope you will wait for the next chapter and still read it, thank you everybody, I love you ^^