I always say to myself that relationships are not for me. Nova has tried so many times to set me up with her friends, her date's friends because she didn't want me to be alone. There's a reason why I don't do relationship and I stood by that reason and decision, but it changed when I met Hardin. The night we spent together made me rethink my decision, it made me ponder of the question: what if?

What if I break the vow I made to myself years about being single for the rest of my life? And why not, I met the perfect man.

What if I get this relationship a try and see what's the fuss is all about?

I didn't want to be in relationship but I always wonder what it would be like to be in one. I let my dream and imagine the good and best part of being in relationship. And everything I think about Hardin and I together, I always feel happy, longing for the person I have no idea how to reach or find, but the feeling kept me up at night and made me smile.

And I guess it's true what people say, never fall in with someone you don't really know, and keep the imagination at bay because they are what they are, an imagination.

Okay no one actually says that but they should start saying because it makes all the sense.

I always think about how we'll meet again, but I never thought about the main details like if he'll be single or married but either way it hurts to hear and see that the man I've spent the last months dreaming about, making future plans with is actually making future plans with someone, someone who turns out to be my best and only friend.

"I'm sorry, excuse me, I need to–" I don't bother to finish as I leave them and march down the hall to the powder room with my head down because the last thing I need is Phoebe or Jazzy calling.

I find the powder room and open the door, leaning against it after closing it. I release the breath I've been holding since Nova introduced her fiance to me.

If this is a bad dream, God I beg you, please wake me up. I pray silently even if I know it's not a dream. It's just my unbelievable reality.

Nova and Hardin. How did they even meet? How did the–

And that's when I remember him telling me that night that he's actually from Seattle, he just came to New York for some business. What the chances of him and Nova bumping into each other? It should have been very slim because they're thousands of people in Seattle and yet the found each other.

I walk to the sink and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Yeah I look exactly how I feel: hurt, heartbroken and awful.

My eyes are red from tears threatening to escape but I blink it away. It's my birthday party and I can't spend it in the powder room crying and feeling sorry for myself. I turn on the faucet and catch some water in my hand before washing it on my face.

Sighing, I stare at my wet face in the mirror and wonder if I can pretend to be okay for the rest of the night, it would be rude of me to leave without an explanation and Nova would never forgive me.

I close my eyes, inhaling and exhaling, I open my eyes and turn off the faucet before heading out. I open the door and gasp when I see the back view of Hardin. He looks like he's been waiting.

The sound that came of my mouth attract his attention, he looks over his shoulder to see me before turning his body to face me, he put his phone inside his suit jacket and pushes me back inside. He locks the door behind him.

Instead of feeling hurt, I'm actually angry at him because he lied to me

"Nate? Your name is Nate?" I can't believe it. Yeah I was so wrapped up in the fact that he's marrying Nova that I keep forgetting that he lied about his name.

He holds his hand out to calm me down. "Dawn calm down, I can explain."

"You lied to me. You lied!" Shaking my head in disbelief.

"I–"

"You told me your name is Hardin." I'm full on shouting as I accuse him of lying and not giving him the chance to talk.

"It is. It's my last name."

How typically and cliche. Giving out fake names. I thought we really got each other. The night we spent was amazing, we talked about things. I told him things I've never told anyone because for some weird reasons I trusted him and now that I'm thinking about it, was anything true? Was it all a lie?

"Is anything you told me that night true? You told me you didn't know Nova." My voice reduces with every words, tears threatening to spill but I'm trying my hardest to keep it in. I will not cry in front of him.

"Yes and I didn't. We didn't meet until later." He places his hand on his hip and run the other one through his hair.

"You're marrying my best friend." This comes out louder than I intend it to because it hurts too much. I don't think my reaction would be like this if it was someone else, but Nova? She's a part of my life like I'm a part of hers, which means he's indirectly a part of my life now.

"And?"

"And?" I repeat his word with venom. How can he say that to me? "That's all you have to say and?" I don't care that he said 'and' but the way he said it, it's like the night we spent meant nothing to him. Like it's easily to dismiss like it never happened.

Am I overreacting?

"Dawn, we had a wonderful night together but I never promised anything, you're acting like I cheated on you." He snaps.

This man standing in front of me is the man I spent better part of this day year with but he sounds and looks nothing like him. This version of him is aloof and cold.

"Hardi–Nate, you told me you wanted to get to know me, you led me on–" he cut me off with his finger in my face, it's a gesture of warning, accompanying with his words.

"Don't you. Dare. Finish that sentence. I never led you on. I told you I was leaving the next morning. I didn't promise you anything." He is angry. He is.

What he said is true, he didn't promise me anything and I chose to believe he did.

"But I waited for you," I say with my throat clenching as lone tears rolls down my cheek, I quickly wipe it with the back of my hand, not wanting to look pathetic in front of him. "I knew you would find your way to me eventually, I believed you would. You were all I could think about and you're marrying my best friend, how is that supposed to make me feel?" I dig my finger into my chest to make my point.

He groans and shakes his head before resting his glaring gaze on me. "Are you even hearing yourself?" He closes his eyes and sighs. He opens his eyes and tries again, this time with less anger. "I'm sorry that you have these feelings for me but I never promise you anything. I didn't tell Nova about our night and I expect you not to say anything because of how awkward it would be."

I let out a sad sigh. This is why he came looking for me. He isn't here to check on me. He came to tell me to keep shut. As much as I want to tell Nova that I found him first, I wouldn't do that to her because she isn't just my best friend, she is my sister and he's right about things being awkward. And I won't be the reason to my friend's unhappiness.

"Nate, I–"

"I love Nova." He confirms with a smile, I won't call it a genuine happy smile but he smiled as he fucking said it. "I love her. I'm marrying her and I'm not fucking around. Please, I'm begging you, erase me from your mind, you're a beautiful woman, find someone else."

He backs away, I reach forward and grab his bicep. "Wait, Nate, listen to me please, I–"

He yank his hand away. "Stop! Just stop it." He leaves after that.

I look down and the tears I've been trying my hardest to prevent from slipping burst out as a painful sob tears from my throat. It hurts. It hurts so much. I love to be in control of the things going on in my life but this is the one thing I cannot control.

It's happening today out of all days. This just adds to my piling lists of why I don't like today.

I don't know how much time I spend crying but I finally stop, getting control of myself if I can't control anything else. I move to the sink and turn on the faucet, washing my face.

My eyes glue on my reflection. What is wrong with me? Why am I always at the receiving end of pain? This right here is why I stay away from getting close to people because when they hurt me, it's up to me to make myself happy but I don't think I can ever come back from this. How am I supposed to look at Nova now? She's getting married to the man I love and I'm happy she's found someone but that someone is Hardin. How am I supposed to watch them together?

Did I miss something from that night? He made it seems like he wanted more with me. He agreed when I said I didn't want the night to end. I wonder what would have happened if I left my number. Would it be me with a ring on my finger instead of Nova?

The door to the powder room opens, Jazzy walks in. I face down and fetch some water to wash my face again.

"What happened to you?" I look in the mirror to see her standing behind me. "Have you been crying?" She asks and her voice if full of concern.

I turn off the faucet and walk past her, hiding my face from her as I go open the cabinet to grab a small towel to clean my face. "What do you want?" I ask, my voice comes out muffled with the towel in my face.

"Nova asked me to find you, she doesn't want you missing her speech." She answers.

Right, the best friend's compulsory speech. She does it every year. I don't know why she feel the need to say a speech every birthday. I don't think her coming home today is a coincidence.

Oh, Nova. I love her so much. Which just complicates things.

"Okay." I answer as a whisper.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Are you all right?"

Jazzy doesn't know much about me and I don't want her to.

"Hmm mmm."

She removes her hand from my shoulder and comes to stand in front of me. She snatches the towel from my face, her eyes softens when she sees my face.

"Listen I know it's not my place but I know you don't like celebrating your birthday, is that why you're crying, hiding in here?"

She thinks it's because of my birthday. I guess I could say it is. I nod, having no choice but to lie because I can't exactly tell her the truth.

"Oh honey, whatever happened for you hate your birthday." She isn't asking, just wondering. "You know Nova is always trying to make it happy."

I do. I do actually, which is exactly why I'm feel bad because Nova, she deserves all the happiness in the world.

"I know, I know."

"Come on, let do your make up, we don't want people seeing your tear stained face."