His eyes glared down at me, those gray, lifeless eyes. I reached for my dagger before I knew where my hand had trailed down to and brandished it. It was the only thing keeping the two of us apart. His eyes flicked down to the dagger and then back to me, almost questioningly. His mouth fell open, and although he was talking, I couldn't make out what he was saying. His words were so distant, so foreign. And they would have been drowned out by the constant, deep rumbling of thunder anyway.

I didn't dare take my eyes off of him, even though he had long dropped his scythe. The knife was strangely warm in my grip, and for a moment, I thought I saw a flash of black, tar-like blood racing down its blade. Every last part of me, even the deepest valley in my mind, hungered to slash his throat with the weapon, as violent a need as it was. It was an instinct as basic as fear. I had to see him suffer for what he had done to me. To everything I loved. And I had to protect everything else I cared about from him. He was the thing standing in my way from safety, from peace. He was the monster looming in the shadows, teeth bared and claws sharpened. He was the exact thing I had to destroy.

The worst part of it was that he seemed to know it, too.

But he made no move to run, no move to hide. He didn't fight what was inevitable. He slid his hands behind his head and closed those two gray eyes, so I didn't have to look into them as I caused his blood to stain the coarse rock below our feet. But even still, I could hear his low begging, whispered just underneath his breath as though it was meant only for him. And it was impossible to miss the bloodcurdling scream that shortly followed.

~•~

I woke up with a scream on my lips and with sweat dripping down my face. I pressed a hand to my head, my eyes trying to adjust to the blanket of darkness that had fallen over me. Instead of sitting there like I longed to do, giving myself enough time to reorient the world around me, I slowly hefted myself from the bed and pulled back the curtains. The light of the moon barely flickered behind the dark clouds, and I swallowed as a flash of lightning lit the sky. I briefly wondered if this was Thomas's doing.

"Alex?" murmured a soft voice from the door. I turned, not even the least bit surprised by the figure that stood, barely more than an outline in the doorway.

"Hey, Philip," I said, returning to the bed and offering him an inviting hand. Temporarily forcing away the tears that had risen to my eyes, I smiled as warmly as I could. I'd be allowed to break down later; for now, I had to be strong. "You doing alright?"

He shook his head and joined me, tucking his body against mine. I massaged his back lightly, bringing him closer. I could be strong for Philip. Really, he was the only thing that was keeping me together. His head was pressed close to my chest, and I lowered my chin so it was resting on top of it. "Jeez," I muttered, reaching for the last shreds of light that had begun to disappear day by day. "Who said you could get so tall?"

He laughed wetly, and although it didn't fully disguise the pain and fear lurking underneath, I knew it was somehow still genuine. "I'm a real boy, now."

"As opposed to?"

I felt him relax, but I didn't stop tracing circles into his back. "You want to talk about it?" I asked.

"Yeah. Do you mind?"

"Of course not."

And so he told me. It was another horrible story of the creature that lurked in the darkest clouds, waiting for the lightning to seize its prey. He told me all about those haunting gray eyes that followed us everywhere, about hysterical words it had yet to say but weren't beyond the realm of possibility. He said how it could feel him prying against his mind, trying to slither into the last pieces of happiness and tear them apart from the inside. He was on the verge of tears, but I held him, and I told him everything would be alright. A promise I had no way of being able to keep, but a promise I made nonetheless.

And, when he had finished and let out a shaky sigh, he demanded I tell him what I had dreamt about, because he knew by my silence that there was something tormenting me, too. I told him just the same way he told me, even though I didn't want to. Even though I felt like I was burdening him with an extra load.

When I was done, we sat in silence for a while, listening only to the gentle patter of the rain against the windows. "I don't ever want to go to sleep again," he finally said, to which I couldn't hold back a laugh.

"Yeah, I feel you."

Regardless, Philip fell asleep a few moments later, leaving me alone in silence. I didn't stop rubbing his back, as it gave me something to think about before my mind strayed back to those vicious, biting thoughts that haunted every moment.

That wasn't the first time I had that nightmare, but it was the first time Thomas didn't fight back in it. I couldn't shake that image from my head. The way he stood there, waiting for what I was about to do. Accepting, even. My throat tightened, as did my grip on the boy sleeping against my chest. Trying my best to steady my breathing, I closed my eyes and pushed my mind into that calm garden Thomas showed me. I did my best to remember the way the counterfeit moonlight rippled in the pool's surface, how his face glowed as the last shreds of twilight disappeared.

I could practically hear his soft voice as he detailed every aspect of life in the palace. And I felt the ghost of his body pressed to my side, his touch so tangible I swear that there had to be something there.

Tears stuck to my cheeks, warm and wet. There was no use in pretending they were ever more than just a second away, pressing against my will with as much force as they could muster. I caved into them, sobbing as quietly as I could with Philip so close.

I felt a hand reach out and wipe them away.

I looked up, expecting to see Philip, but he was still slumbering against me. Realization lit up inside of me slowly, and every part of my body froze all at once.

Nobody was there.

But I felt something...

There was no way that it hadn't been there. The touch had been so simple, but so real. And the utter warmth that lingered through my face long after the brush of the hand was gone wasn't something I could imagine, especially with how the cold attacked my veins. "Hello?" I whispered, barely loud enough for even me to hear it.

"Don't cry."

His voice echoed through my mind, pulling a choked breath from my mouth. "Thomas?"

No response.

My hands shaking, I slowly shifted Philip off of me. He stirred a bit, but thankfully didn't wake. I listened to his careful breathing, eyes shut tightly. It would be so much easier to just stay there and pretend to fall asleep until I actually do. I could forget this ever happened, chalk it all up to either exhaustion or a dream. I sat there for a long moment, silently debating, before finally slipping out of bed and pulling my coat on over my undershirt. "Thomas?" I whisper-yelled, panicking as he went silent. It couldn't have been my imagination. He had been there, I know he had.

There was the phantasmic whisper that was soothing and a mystery all at once again, but it came from further away. I shot out of my room, closing the door softly behind me, and hurried down the hall. As I passed by one of the windows, a flash of lightning illuminated the dark sky, making me jump. I paused for a moment, glancing outside as the rain began to pick up. If I strained my eyes, I could see the shapes of the tree bending in the storm.

But the whisper echoed against the walls, and I swallowed down my fear so I could chase after it. He was there. He was waiting for me. I just had to find him.

I'm coming!

Up a staircase, down another hall, and past his bedroom. A route I had taken so frequently that it was burned in the back of my brain. And as we drew closer to the end of the hall, I realized where it was taking me immediately. My hand practically flew against the bird, almost puncturing the canvas, and the door opened up as seamlessly as though it had always been there. I slipped into the room, and the entrance to the passageway fell shut behind me. Wasting no thought worrying about the darkness, I surged forwards until I came across the large, cavern-like room filled with the various instruments.

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but a part of me shattered when Thomas wasn't sitting at the bench of the piano, his hands hovering over the keys as if he was about to play. I swallowed, staggering backwards from the empty room, ready to turn around and leave.

Divinity's Children, I was such an idiot.

But the whisper called out to me once more, making me freeze.

The syllables washed over me, gripping me with a burning cold yet frigidly warm sensation that left me trembling. I tried to hold onto the feeling, knowing that no matter what, I couldn't let go of it. I couldn't let him disappear again.

But it was gone just as it had come, quick, silent, and sudden. It left me standing there, reeling to catch my breath in all of the exact same ways Thomas left me breathless before. I swallowed against the lump in my throat and closed my eyes, my mind wandering out slowly, carefully. A bubble of anticipation mixed with dread sat heavily in my stomach like a stone, but I explored as much as I dared until I came barreling into those same walls I had encountered a few months ago with...

Eliza.

Divinity, it hurt just to think her name. It seemed like lifetimes since I had seen her smile, heard her laugh. If I had known that would be the last time I touched her hand, would I have kept her closer to me? Held her longer? Would I have even let go of her in the first place?

Memories flashed through my mind, suddenly bearing down on me with a weight I couldn't hold all on my own. Eliza's sweet floral scent. Thomas with his radiant smile. It flickered between the two of them, the moments we had shared, the soft-spoken secrets we dared never to let anybody else in on. And for a moment, pure agony went racing up my spine, bringing me to my knees as I tried to fight and struggle against the pressing weight of the attack. For a crushing moment, it looked like I was losing, and the thoughts would consume me alive.

And all at once, I felt them forced away from me.

The paradoxical sensation traveled through my body once more, fleeting, but chasing away the pain and misery. And I heard his voice echo through my mind one more time, words I would never forget.

"I'm coming."

~•~

"You look...uh, awful."

"Thanks," I returned curtly, draining my cup from its water. The liquid only did so much to soothe the back of my throat.

"I mean, it is not a bad thing," Lafayette floundered, trying to save it.

"It's fine," I said with a sigh, flicking my hand dismissively. "I didn't sleep much last night."

"Oh?" Aaron asked, glancing up. I hated how he pinned me underneath that impossibly strong stare, as though he could break me and get all the answers he was looking for just by glancing at me.

"Nightmares?" Peggy said softly, and I almost jumped at her voice. She hadn't spoken much since we had...well, in a while. She gazed down at her plate, food untouched and growing cold, but I knew it was her who had spoken.

For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to share what I had seen last night. It seemed too personal, something that had been meant for me and only me. Like sharing it would be a violation of trust. Plus, they would just write me off as crazy or unstable anyway. No, my secret was mine to keep.

I nodded at Peggy's inquiry, my gaze dropping to my own plate. Though the meat and the bread were physically fine, they had almost no taste, and all they did was make my mouth go dry at the thought of forcing down more food. I hadn't been eating much, but nobody really seemed to notice or care, and I was fine with it.

"Do you want to talk about them?" James pressed, as he had been more recently. I think he was growing more worried that something very similar that happened with Thomas would happen with me.

I shook my head, trying for a smile, and instead gazed at the empty spot at the head of the table where Washington was supposed to sit. We had too many unfilled chairs already, and another one felt like just one more fracture in a family that was already falling apart.

"He'll be alright, if you're worried," Hercules said lightly.

"I know."

My feet tapped against the floor. Why did General Washington have to go out on his own? Sure, James had assured me that there were countless birds everywhere who would alert him the second something went wrong, it didn't make me feel any better that he didn't even take one of us with him. And though I knew there was no reason why I should feel like it was my fault he had left, guilt festered in my stomach, and I couldn't shake it.

"Alex?" Philip questioned softly. "I think you're hurting yourself."

I glanced down, only just now realizing how tightly I pinched the skin on my left arm. "Sorry," I said, forcing my hand to relax. I smiled up at him, a reminder that everything was alright. "I guess I am worried."

The voice from the night before was still playing through my mind, even though it was long gone and probably imagined anyway. But if it wasn't, then...well, I couldn't bring myself to think about what that could mean. I didn't want to drink in so much hope that I started to lose sight of reality. And it would all come crashing down anyway, leaving me just another mess I had to clean up.

I forced myself to finish the rest of my breakfast and was about to rise when a bird came barreling through the window. My hands tightened around the fork in my hands, and the metal object suddenly began to shake. James rose immediately as it landed at his spot at the table, a heap of gray and brown feathers. It chirped something urgently, then took to the air once more.

James sighed, combed a hand through his hair, and then nodded to the rest of us. "Washington needs us immediately."