7 years ago

December 4th, 2011.
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You opened the door of your car, stepping down into at least two inches of snow.

You pushed yourself out of the car seat, and relaxed your other foot into the ground.

You adjusted your beanie, moving the hair out of your eyes as well. You groaned, looking at all the cars beside yours.

You would've figured that they'd pay someone to plow the snow out of the parking lot, but unfortunately, the surrounding area was buried in snow.

You couldn't even see where you were supposed to park, it was so snowy. People guessed where they had to, and for the most part, nobody cared. Almost no one reported it, and the rare person who did, didn't exactly receive the help they wanted.

Of course there was the one asshole who parked really badly, taking up two hypothetical parking spaces. Nobody did anything to him, of course, but he'll be remembered as the asshat of the year.

Ignoring the snow, you shut your car door. You stuck your hands in your pockets and walked towards the tall building looming in front of you.

It was a hospital.

You were hoping your doctor would be on time today. You didn't exactly have the patience to wait for an hour after the appointment was scheduled, nor did you have the patience to wear a hospital mask for more than fifteen minutes.

You sighed, gripping the handlebar with your right hand. You opened the door, and checked to make sure no people were around.

You walked inside. The building smelled of soap, and something else you couldn't really describe. It was that typical hospital smell.. the thing you smell when you get the needle in your wrist, two seconds before you fall unconscious.

An anesthetic smell, almost. You didn't really care, being honest.

You walked to your right, seeing an empty room with really nasty looking chairs. In front of you was a lady standing at a desk, talking on a telephone.

"I'll just sit for now.." you thought with a sigh. You picked a chair that didn't seem as disgusting as the rest, relaxing your increasingly tense shoulders.

You pulled out your phone, opening the gallary. You tapped a photo of a sketch you made, making it full screen.

It was a still-life sketch on an apple. You thought the shape of the apple was okay in itself, but the shading seemed... off, to you. You always felt embarrassed about it, but you still kept it in your phone for nostalgia's sake.

Abruptly, you heard your name being called.

"(Y/N) (L/N)?"

You stood up from your chair, which was surrounded by other not-so-sanitary ones. You walked up the the lady at the desk, and listened.

"It's your turn to speak to Dr. Burns, ma'am. I'll need your I.D."

You slid your driver's license across the desk to her. She caught it in her hand, and inspected it closely.

"Alright. Have a good visit, Ma'am!" She exclaimed cheerfully.

"Thanks." You said with a fake smile plastered into your face. You walked to your left, opening a door and walking down a seperate hallway.

In it were comfortable looking chairs, presumably for waiting patients. They were red, with fluffy looking cushions, and arms. There were also elevators, a lot of them down for repairs. People have had to take the stairs for a couple of days, then. Luckily, your stop was only on the first floor.

You turned to your left again, opening the light blue door to Dr. Burns' office. You slowly walked in as the door creaked, the doctor looking at you awkwardly.

Dr. Burns' was a woman in her mid 30's. She had darker skin, with darker brown hair and light brown eyes. She looked to be of Indian descent, but you never wanted to make any assumptions..

"Hello, Miss (L/N)." She stated, her hands clamped together on her desk.

You swallowed, wondering if she was annoyed with you for some particular reason.

"You wanted to speak with me about your surgery?" She questioned curiously.

"Y-yes, I did." You responded nervously.

You sat down in the chair across from her desk. It was plastic, and a dark shade of blue. You recognized them from your old high school.. which you hated.

"I wanted to ask what I should be worried about for the days after my surgery.." you admitted calmly.

"If I'm allowed to take painkillers, melatonin.. and other simple things, like the pain." You added.

"I understand.." she replied, looking down at her desk.

"About the medication.. I'd avoid taking anything prescription. Anything else is fine, though." She said confidently.

"And for the pain.."

You swallowed nervously, hoping for a good answer.

"I'm not going to lie to you, (Y/N). When you wake up from the procedure, your body is going to think that something's gone pretty wrong." She confessed.

You felt your hands shaking. You couldn't imagine how painful it'd be, but you would do anything to have this fixed. You'd be willing to die a million times over for this.

"We'll do everything we can to make you feel comfortable. The pros will be much bigger than the cons, you know?" She said with a laugh.

"Exactly." You replied, smiling.

You remembered something for a moment.

"Oh yeah, I was also here for my prescription!" You exclaimed.

You facepalmed at yourself, feeling like a complete idiot.

"Yes, yes." Burns said, smiling.

You handed her a slip of paper, wanting her to sign it. She did as you'd wished, and handed it back over to you.

"Thank you, ma'am." You added.

"Anytime." She responded. "Have a nice day."

You smiled.

"You too." You replied.

You opened that blue door again, and walked back into the hallway. You closed the door behind you, and headed back towards the waiting room.

As you passed, you saw other people waiting in the chairs you were looking at earlier. You figured they showed up while you were talking with Burns.

You reached the waiting room, and passed the lady at the desk. You waved to her, smiling gently.

You felt excitement running up your back, along with a sense of dread. You yawned, stretching out your arms. You were scared about what it would be like after the procedure, but you needed this surgery.

You walked through the doorway, brushing your hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear. You adjusted your hat, putting your hands in your pockets once again. You shivered at the chills travelling down your spine.

Your family wouldn't be proud of you.. but they never understood anyway. You were born in the body of someone different, who didn't represent who you were.

You were suffering a dysphoria, one that could only be relieved by a transition. You always looked into the mirror, feeling hopeful as you grazed your hands down the curves of your waist.

"Just three more nights.." you thought. "Three more nights until I'm normal. Until I'm happy again.."

You looked at the prescription in your palm.

"For now, this'll do."