Briar is very pointedly not meeting Alex's gaze.

She fiddles with her pen, taking it out of her coat, then putting it back in, then makes a big show of adjusting the friendship bracelet she still keeps on her at all times. After that, she grabs her stethoscope for the day–she has three that she switches out. Today she's feeling the dark blue one. And then, well . . . she can't resist sneaking a peak at Jackson next to her.

It is not her fault that he looks gorgeous in a white muscle tank, okay!

Alex snorts from next to her, getting a withering look from Briar, who is valiantly pretending that her cheeks aren't bright red.

Her and Alex have never actually had a discussion about her little . . . crush . . . on Jackson Avery. They don't need to: he knows her too well. She knows that he knows that she knows that he knows . . . or whatever. Why talk about it?

Thankfully a pager goes off loudly right as Alex tells her that she needs to get laid. As if she doesn't already know that!

"Sounds big. I'm betting M.V.C." Jackson declares, and Briar perks up at the mention of a bet.

"I bet it's an apartment fire." She throws out there, getting a nod from Alex.

"Definitely. Or a multiple M.V.C." Alex adds on, getting a small smile from Briar before she turns to Jackson, very pointedly looking him in his eyes. His pretty, gorgeous, can't-look-away green eyes. Briar actually kind of hates how pretty this man is.

"I bet fire." She reiterates, smirking at him. "You still thinking M.V.C.? How much are you willing to put on it?"

"Loser buys drinks after shift."

"Deal. Get ready, I need a night off: I'm gonna drink." Briar warns him, feeling a little disappointed when he pulls his blue scrub top over his head right after they shake on it. She was enjoying the view, despite trying not to look too obviously.

"When's the staring gonna stop?" April asks, and Briar grimaces as she looks around the room, flipping off some of the more blatant people.

"As soon as the novelty wears off. Just ignore them." Jackson states, but Briar shakes her head.

"Yeah, no, you have to be an asshole to them. Call them out." When they both frown at her, she rolls her eyes. "Speaking from experience here! After George died, people gawked for weeks. That is, until I tripped up Nancy on the stairwell. They started avoiding eye contact after that. Just bully them back."

"That is not advice I thought I would get from you." Jackson admits, while Briar just shrugs.

"All I'm saying is that sometimes a little bit of bullying is good for assholes who won't mind their business."

"Yes!" Lexie shouts, grabbing everyone's attention. She's glaring at a group of residents on the other side of the room. "Okay, I am the crazy one! I am the one who freaks out and screams at people . . . like that!"

"Case in point, Lexie Grey." Briar laughs, giving the girl a proud smile before they leave the room as their pagers beep. Ahead of them, a few residents are talking about Lexie. Briar catches the word nutcase and snaps.

"Hey, Mary, remember when your boyfriend–who doesn't even work here–dumped you in the cafeteria and you cried for two months straight?" Briar asks with a mocking smile, staring straight at a resident that she heard whispering about Lexie. "What was it he called you? An adulterous slut? Shut your goddamn mouth about Lexie Grey before I start sending the video around."

She scampers off with her friends, Briar smiling smugly as she watches her go.

"I'm honestly kind of scared of you." April whispers, both her and Jackson gaping at her.

"Good."

✦

Briar gags when she walks past Derek, who looks like he spent the night in a holding cell. He certainly smells the part too.

"Thank you for that, Sinclair." He grumbles, and Briar spins back around.

"Go to the resident's lounge, I have perfume in my cubby." She suggests, grimacing. "And . . . I don't know, try to wipe yourself down until you can get to a shower? It won't completely get rid of the smell but it'll help."

"I don't want to smell like your perfume."

"I mean, if you'd rather smell like piss than vanilla bean or . . . oh, I have a peppermint one in there! That's your best bet, it's strong." She tells him, shrugging at the look of dismay on his face. "You made your bed, Meredith just made you lie in it. Try the perfume, Derek."

She only gets a few steps away before her laughter starts, it only increasing in volume when Derek yells after her.

✦

The E.R. is packed with cases. A lightning strike took out an entire flag football team–all with burns, two with paralysis, three with vision loss, one blown eardrum, and one dislocated hip. They're all scrambling around taking care of everyone they can, and Briar makes the executive decision to focus on other patients coming in.

She's the only doctor available when two guys come in, one gushing blood from multiple cuts on his head. The other one is shouting at him–Briar catches something about a wife and it isn't what you think, always the go-to excuse–and then at Briar when she joins the fray.

"He attacked me!" He's screaming, making Briar raise her eyebrows as she gives him a pointed look over. She doesn't see him gushing blood.

"Alright, I need you to tilt your head for me." Briar tells her patient, gently helping him do so. "And–can we separate them, please!"

The screaming is driving her crazy, and she's sure it's worse for her patient.

"Can you tell me your name?" She asks him, turning to the paramedic hovering over his shoulder when she gets no response. He just shrugs at her, making Briar sigh. "Okay, you, uh, Edwards. Go find the other patient you brought in and get the story out of him. They knew each other."

A moment later, she grabs a pen from her coat pocket, along with a stack of green post-it notes, handing them off to him.

"Can you write down your name and anything I need to know?" She asks him, hoping that it'll both distract him from his situation and give her any information she needs. She watches as he writes down the name Christian Martinez, and then he hit me with a vase. His writing is messy, which Briar expected, but it's legible when she tilts her head and squints.

"I'm sorry you went through that," Briar tells him, trying to breathe through the anxiety that she's been feeling since she saw his face. "Okay, I need you to stay still for me, and answer any questions I have honestly. Um. Grab another post-it, write down the answers."

"Are you having difficulty seeing?" Yes.

"When I move your jaw, does it hurt?" Yes.

"Do you know how many times you were hit?" One. Maybe? I don't know. He was mad.

Briar sucks in a deep breath, looking at his face, instead of the note. He's got the beginning signs of a black eye, and what Briar is confident is a fractured cheekbone: flattened cheek, issues with vision, and pain when she moves his jaw.

"Alright, Christian, I'm going to get you in for a CT scan and bring in an ENT doctor to come speak with you after." She says, quickly waving Tyler over and asking him to get him down to CT. She would normally do that herself, but she can feel her panic rising the longer she spends with him.

She barely makes it to the supply closet before the crying starts.

✦

Briar sits in front of her locker, staring at the picture in the center: her, Cristina, Meredith, Izzie, George, and Alex. George is beaming at the camera from his position in the center. Briar has her tongue sticking out as she gives both Alex and Izzie bunny ears, the two sitting in front of her. Briar can't stop staring at herself: she feels like a completely different person.

How is it possible that only a few years have passed? How is it possible for George to be dead, Izzie to have left them, and the rest of them to be left traumatized? How is any of this possible?

Briar doesn't pay attention to the door opening, or to the person who sits next to her. She just stares at George's smiling face and feels, for the first time in a while, complete grief over his death. She thinks that a lot of things would be different if he was still here.

"I triggered Yang in the O.R." Jackson says, filling the silence, and Briar just hums. She's pretty sure she should be worried about that. Cristina is her friend. She doesn't feel anything.

"I had a panic attack over a patient." She admits, her voice sounding scratchy.

"I–I knocked over a tray of instruments, and it sounded like a gunshot."

"He had facial trauma. Someone hit him with a vase."

"People are going to remember me as the reason Cristina Yang can't operate anymore."

"I keep–I keep wondering why I'm not dead. Why didn't he shoot me? Why didn't I get more than a broken nose?"

"I'm really mad at you." Jackson's whispered confession finally makes Briar look over at him. His eyes are rimmed with red, and he looks completely exhausted. Briar knows she looks the same, if not worse.

"I know." She says, because she does know that. "Wanna get dinner and talk about it?"

Jackson stares at her for a long moment, and Briar lets him. She doesn't try to cover up her emotions or seem okay. She just lets the two of them exist in this moment, both of them feeling broken.

"Let's get dinner."

✦

"Oh, I have needed this!" Briar exclaims, grinning after her first bite of a bacon cheeseburger from the diner down the road. She hasn't been there in a while, and she is regretting that decision now.

"Yeah, this is insanely good." Jackson tells her, sounding surprised. Briar just grins at him, grabbing a french fry to dip in her vanilla shake. "I'm adding this place to my list."

"It better be at the top of your list." Briar informs him, narrowing her eyes, before reaching over to her bedside table for her pop. "They have the best food in Seattle."

He raises his hands, admitting defeat, and she grins to herself. She lets them get halfway through their meals before speaking up again, wanting to get this conversation over with. It's been a long time coming.

"Alright, get it over with." She tells him, raising an eyebrow when he just looks confused. "Yell at me."

"I don't want to yell at you."

"Really?" She asks, honestly surprised by that. He just nods, fiddling with his own drink, strawberry lemonade. "Okay, well . . . you're mad at me. We should talk about it."

"It sounds stupid if I say it out loud."

"Then sound stupid." She tells him. They need to get this conversation out of the way, and she can deal with whatever he's feeling, as long as he's honest about it.

"I just . . . I don't know, Briar. I don't think you realized how badly he hurt you, or–or maybe you don't care, but it was bad. When I found you, you were covered in blood, and you were so out of it. You were slurring and I think you were seeing double? You said something about not knowing that I had a twin, which I didn't understand at the time, but I've thought about it a lot and that's the only explanation I can think of."

"That's all kind of a blur." Briar admits. She remembers some of the night in perfect detail; the rest in fractured segments. She remembers being hurt and needing to find Lexie. She remembers laughing at Jackson. She remembers Gary Clark holding a gun to her head for the second time that night.

She wishes she didn't remember any of it.

"That makes sense. You had a grade 2 concussion." Jackson sighs, and Briar grimaces in remembered pain as she takes another bite of her burger, waiting for him to continue talking. "I am mad at you, and I don't think I should be. It's frustrating."

"You'll probably feel better if you tell me why you're mad." Briar prompts him. It's clear that he's holding back from saying it, and it's not healthy for either of them or the friendship they've been building.

"I don't understand why you antagonized him." He says finally, huffing as he sets down his drink, gesturing with both of his hands now that they're free. "He had a gun pointed at your head! And you–you called him mentally unstable and asked if he had enough bullets, and I–I thought he was going to shoot you. I thought you were going to die in front of us, and that I wouldn't be able to do anything to stop it. And that didn't happen, but when I left that room hours later, I found out that two of my best friends had been killed and–and you could've been one of them. So yeah, I'm pissed."

"I'm sorry that I scared you." Briar says honestly. "I–I don't really know why I said those things. I was in pain, and I was scared, and I got angry. I think he took something from me, the first time he held a gun to me, when he pistol-whipped me. I think he broke more than my nose, and I–I stopped caring."

It's likely not what he wants to hear–Briar doesn't want to be saying it, or meaning it–but it's the truth. It's all she can offer him.

"Why is it always your nose?" He asks after a few minutes of silence, making Briar throw her head back with the force of her surprised laughter.

"I have no idea," Briar gasps out, clutching her stomach and grinning to herself. It's not funny that she keeps getting hurt, except that it is in a way. Because she's still alive, and she has to find humor anywhere she can, even if it's just in her tendency to break her nose. "I'm so thankful for Mark Sloan though!"

No one that didn't know about it would be able to tell that he had to operate on her nose, both to drain the clotting, and to put the bone back into place. He also stitched up the cut right below her left eyebrow–the one she didn't know about until after she woke up from the operation–and Briar is confident that the scar only makes her look cooler.

She's a fan of scars: she thinks they tell stories. She's not pleased about having a permanent reminder of that night, but it would be a lot more prominent if Mark hadn't insisted on taking care of her.

"If you promise not to aggravate any more madmen, I'll forgive you." Jackson tells her very seriously, and Briar grins as she stretches her hand out to him, her pinky finger held out.

"Pinky promise."

"Alright, come on, finish eating and then I'll help you finish unpacking." Briar tells him, making him groan loudly even as he does as she says. He's moving in, taking Derek's study as his room, after Briar told Meredith about him living with Charles previously. April is likely going to move in as well, since she'd been living with Reed. Briar's not sure how well that'll work out, but it'll at least be interesting.

✦

Briar is on Mark's service today.

She's walking with him, both of them chatting away about anything they can think of, when he stops and spins around. Briar follows his gaze to a woman standing at the nurses station, rolling her eyes when he takes off in that direction, before following him.

"Uh, could you just point me in the direction of his office?" She's asking, making the nurse look worried.

"I'm sorry." She starts, getting interrupted by Mark before she can continue her explanation.

"She has that look on her face because the last time someone walked into this hospital looking for Dr. Shepherd without an appointment, he shot him." Mark explains, making Briar huff out a laugh at that explanation.

"Mark! Oh!" The woman squeals, turning and hugging him around the neck. Briar finally gets a good look at her, liking what she sees. Dark hair, blue eyes, and a few inches shorter than Briar. She had on a cute outfit, too: low-rise jeans, a purple shirt, and a dark blue leather jacket.

"Oh my god!" She gasps, pulling away with a quick shove to Mark's shoulders.

"Hi, Amy."

"You still look hot." She states, making him stumble, his face turning pink.

"You, uh, look a lot more grown-up than when I last saw you." Ouch.

"You can say 'hot,' you know, 'cause I am. I'm hot." She states, her confidence only making her more attractive to Briar.

"No, I can't." Mark refutes, still smiling through the awkward moment. "Because in my mind, you're still Derek's 12-year-old sister."

"If he won't say it, I will." Briar jumps in, making both of them turn to her. She ignores Mark, giving the woman–Amy?– a bright smile and holding out her hand. "I'm Briar Sinclair. Please tell me you're both single and into women."

"No, no, no." Mark jumps in, making Briar glare at him. "Amy, what are you doing in Seattle?"

"Amelia Shepherd." She tells Briar, ignoring Mark, much to Briar's happiness. "Yes and yes. You're gorgeous, by the way."

"Where has Derek been hiding you?" Briar muses, giving her another look over and really liking what she sees. "Ooh, actually, please answer Mark's question. What are you doing here; are you here to stay, or to visit?"

"Visit, since Derek's an ass who won't answer my calls." She says with a long-suffering sigh. "Derek's an ass who got shot and won't return my calls, so I brought him a present or a bribe or a peace offering. Whatever. I brought him that."

All three of them turn to look at the guy she points to, simply waiting for her to introduce him. Briar gives him an awkward wave, immediately regretting the move when Mark laughs at her.

"You brought him Brett Favre?" Mark questions, making Amelia look at him as if he's an idiot.

"No. I brought him a brain tumor!"

"Today just got amazing." Briar says with a grin, one that is matched by Amelia.

✦

"Oh, come on." Derek sighs as soon as he sees Amelia, who smiles at the sight of her brother. "Amy?"

"Well, if you'd pick up the damn phone, I wouldn't have to stalk you." She defends herself.

"Yeah, why didn't you call your sister?" Mark asks him, grabbing Meredith's attention. Derek has both Meredith and Cristina with him.

"Sister?" She asks, and Derek sighs again.

"Meredith, Cristina, this is Amy." He introduces them, not sounding pleased in the slightest to be doing so.

"Amelia." Amelia corrects him. "He's the only one who gets to call me Amy. Um, nice to finally meet you."

"Likewise." Meredith agrees, shaking Amelia's hand, still looking surprised.

"Amy–Amelia–is also a neurosurgeon." Mark tells them, making Briar grin as she whispers "hot," winking at Amelia when she smiles at that.

"Another one? You Shepherd's grow them like weeds." Cristina points out, while Derek glares at Briar. She just shrugs back at him, not worried about how he feels about it.

"Who's this, your husband?" He asks wearily, gesturing to the man Amelia brought with her.

"Derek, this is Tom." She presents him, only for him to correct her.

"Todd."

"Oh, best of luck to you both." Derek responds with a scoff, moving to brush past them. Amelia follows him.

"We met on the plane. He has a probable pituitary tumor." She explains, making Derek turn around.

"Did she say you have spongy hands?" Derek questions Tom/Todd.

"Yeah."

"Yeah. Were your hands on her breasts at the time?"

"Yeah."

"So this was a mile-high hook up?" Derek questions his sister, looking even less impressed.

"That doesn't change the fact that he's a very sick man." Amelia argues, breezing past the discussion of hookups with grace.

"If he has symptoms, it could be a tumor." Meredith points out softly.

"Not just could. It–it is." Amelia states, continuing to argue her case with Derek, who isn't swayed.

"Alright. Well, this fine lady will find you a surgeon." Derek states, turning around and walking away again. This time, Meredith is the one to follow him.

"Derek, she's your sister." She points out softly. "You can buy her a cup of coffee."

"I have a lot of sisters, and if I bought them all coffee, we wouldn't have anything."

Damn.

"Derek–" Meredith tries again, getting interrupted by her husband.

"Alright, Todd needs a workup. Will you take care of it?" He asks, looking at Cristina, who nods her head.

"I can do it." Meredith starts, again getting interrupted by Derek.

"Yang's on my service. Why don't you just go have a good day with Amy, okay? She's a laugh a minute."

They all watch him leave, before Briar slowly turns to see Mark and Amelia looking disappointed. Mark visibly rallies himself before turning to the brunette and smiling at her.

"How about the three of us get coffee?" He suggests. "There's a great coffee cart here, you'll love it. Come on–"

"Actually," Briar speaks up, clearing her throat when they turn to her. "I think I'm gonna head down, see if I can pick up a case. I'll let the two of you catch up. It was great meeting you Amelia."

"You too." She says softly, while Mark frowns at her.

"You're turning down coffee? Who are you and what have you done with Briar?" He asks, and she forces a smile.

"I'm just not feeling it. I want to get my hands dirty." She tells him, before turning and rushing away, hoping that there are cases in the pit for her to distract herself with.

"Dr. Bailey! Do you need another pair of hands?" She questions as soon as she finds the attending. Jackson and Lexie are with her.

"Aren't you with Sloan today?" Dr. Bailey questions her, her eyebrows raised, and Briar nods.

"I am, but Derek's sister is here and Mark is taking her for coffee. I thought I could come help you out." She explains, crossing her fingers behind her back, hoping that Dr. Bailey will accept her help.

"Well then, follow us outside. We've got someone incoming."

Yes!

"I swear to god, Jerry, if you don't get out of the car, I'm gonna break the glass and drag you through the freakin' window." A woman is shouting at a guy in the car. Briar cranes her neck but can't see more than a gray hoodie, sharing a perplexed look with Jackson and Lexie.

"Um, look, ma'am, this is an ambulance bay. It's for doctor and patient vehicles only." Dr. Bailey explains, starting to point to where she can park her car, only for the woman to speak again.

"Well, if my idiot husband would ever get out of the car, you'd see he was a patient." She explains, sounding beyond frustrated. She tries unlocking the car with her keys, only for him to manually lock his door from the inside. "Jerry! Unlock the door!"

"Just take me home, Tess!" The man shouts. "This was a big mistake!"

"Um, sir." Dr. Bailey starts, leaning in to try and get a glimpse through the window. "If there is something wrong with you, you should let us take a look. We can help."

"Really?" Jerry asks her, sounding disbelieving. "Can you help me with these?"

"Uh, yes." Dr. Bailey says after a few seconds of silence, exchanging a look with the wife. "Yes, we can. But we can't do anything until you get out of the car."

Briar exchanges another confused look with Jackson and Lexie. The suspense is killing her.

"You'll have to open the door for me." He says, surrendering to getting checked out. This time, he doesn't lock the door when Tess clicks the button.

"Uh, I need a–a chair." Dr. Bailey tells them. Jackson rushes off to get one, while Briar and Lexie wait for the patient reveal. It doesn't disappoint. He's covered in warts, the ones on his hands being particularly large, having horns.

"Oh, my–!" Lexie screeches, her hands flying up to cover her mouth. "I'm sorry."

Briar shuts her eyes, embarrassment coursing through her when she sees the annoyance written all over Tess's face. Jackson comes back with the wheelchair, giving Briar a 'did that just happen?' look, Briar grimacing back.

"People are great, aren't they?" Jerry asks, looking at Dr. Bailey. "Real sweethearts."

Dr. Bailey is going to make Lexie miserable.

"Sir, I'm Dr. Sinclair, this is Dr. Bailey, Dr. Avery, and Dr. Grey." Briar jumps in, pointing to each person that she names before she turns to Tess. "You're absolutely allowed to be in there with us, but would you mind moving your car while you have a minute? We try to keep it clear incase of an emergency."

Tess slowly nods her head, watching as Jackson and Dr. Bailey get her husband situated in the wheelchair. As soon as they get him in a room, Dr. Bailey is ordering Lexie out into the hallway with her while Briar and Jackson do the intake exam.

"So, did I hear that your name is Jerry? And you're Tess?" She asks to fill in the silence, handing Tess paperwork to fill out. When she gets two nods back, she smiles and turns to Jackson so that he can start the exam.

"I'm going to page Dr. Sloan for us." She tells them, although she suspects that Dr. Bailey will do that as well. It's better to be paged twice than not at all. "He's our head of plastic surgery. He's the best of the best, so you'll be in good hands."

"You can ask, you know." Jerry tells them, sounding exhausted. Briar looks up for just a second, in the middle of texting Mark. Hey, I caught a case!! Come down to room 11-35, asap!! It's not the most professional way to do it, but she's hoping to catch his attention.

"Ask what?" Jackson asks while Briar hits send before quickly putting her phone away.

"How I let it get this bad. Why I didn't come in here sooner."

"That's none of our business." Briar says simply. "All that matters is that you're here now, and we're going to take care of you. Can you tell me when this started?"

"You really don't care?" Jerry questions her, sounding almost annoyed that she isn't interrogating him.

"I don't, no. All I care about is doing anything I can to make you feel better. That's my job. Now, can you please answer the question? When did you start presenting symptoms?"

"Everyone judges." Jerry protests, and Briar sighs before deciding to be honest with him.

"Yeah, they do. It sucks. It's not the same thing as what you're going through, but I understand people judging you based on medical decisions." She tells him, elaborating when he looks skeptical. "I once went five years without once going to a doctor, or to a dentist. At first it was because I couldn't afford it, and I didn't have insurance. It didn't seem like a big deal: I'd go eventually. Except skipping for one year turned into five, and suddenly my gums were bleeding every time I brushed my teeth, my teeth were loose, and I had constant tooth pain. I still didn't go. I didn't have good dental hygiene, a result of not being taught about it, and of having depression. Even after it was something I could afford, I still didn't go, because I was scared that something was wrong and that I would be shamed for it."

"What made you go?" Tess asks her, all three people in the room looking intrigued.

"I got married to this amazing guy." Briar said with a small smile, seeing the way Jerry quickly glances at his wife. "He put me on his insurance and never once made me feel lesser than him. He scheduled both of us for appointments with his doctor and his dentist, and I put off explaining until the day before. And he didn't shame me, or judge me, instead he told me he would hold my hand through the whole thing. And when the dentist started to question why I had avoided being seen sooner, he defended me. Everything was a lot less scary with him there. And I found out I had gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease, and that I got lucky in going in when I did because we were able to take care of it before it progressed any further."

"So, yeah, people are going to judge, and they're going to question why you didn't come here sooner, but it is truly none of their business." Briar finishes, feeling a little awkward, even as Tess gives her a grateful smile.

✦

"Um, Mr. Adams, sometime in your history, you contracted H.P.V." Mark explains. "There are various types of the virus. This one generally causes small warts. But in rare cases like yours, there's an immune deficiency that allows the warts to get out of control."

Briar watches with interest as Dr. Bailey takes a swab sample of one of the warts on his hand, placing it inside of a biohazard bag that Lexie is holding. This is fascinating. She feels for the couple and everything this would be making them go through, but the case is very interesting from a medical standpoint.

"We went to a dermatologist in Pullman four years ago." Tess tells them. "They were a lot smaller then. He removed a bunch of them, but–"

"They grew back." Jerry continues the sentence, his voice thick. "Then we saw the guy again, and they grew back again. They're always gonna grow back. And that's why we should just go home."

"Well, if you don't do anything about it, they're gonna continue to grow. You'll become completely disabled." Mark explains, his tone solemn. "We need to do surgery."

"You can't just scrape the stuff off?" Tess questions.

"No. Um, each one of the warts has its own blood supply. So we need to cut and stitch each one." Dr. Bailey explains gently.

"So basically, I'm gonna go from looking like a tree, to looking like Frankenstein, right?" Jerry questions, not on board with the surgery. Briar bites her lip to resist pointing out that Frankenstein was actually the scientist, not the creation. It isn't the time for her nerdy tidbits. "Super."

"Well, we'll be doing skin grafts at the same time, which will help with your appearance and function." Mark explains to him, although Briar imagines that only makes it more overwhelming. "That said, you're right, it's not a cure. The warts will recur, but if you schedule surgeries regularly, we might be able to keep them under control."

"Do you see? It's what I told you, they can't help." Jerry tells his wife, who is looking at Briar instead of him.

"What would you do?" She asks, startling Briar, who blinks rapidly back. "If–if this was you, or your husband, what would you do?"

"I would have the surgery." She tells them softly, thinking it over for a minute. "I know surgery sounds like a terrifying option, but it is truly your best chance to avoid any long-term issues. It isn't a one and done cure, but it can help increase your quality of life. I meant it when I said Mark is the best. He'll do everything he can for you, both for your function and your appearance."

Tess nods, but Jerry shakes his head. Tess catches the movement, and Briar winces when she sees the look on her face.

"So a couple of years with me is what . . . a waste of time?" She asks him, her voice remaining strong despite the obvious emotions she's feeling. "We never go out, Jerry. We sit in that damn house, day after day, month after month. I want us to see a movie, to go out to dinner, I want to see . . . people!"

"Um, if the two of you want to discuss it, we can–" Dr. Bailey tries to excuse them from the room, getting cut off by Tess.

"No! There's no more discussion." She says firmly, before turning to face her husband head on. "You're having the surgery, 'cause if you don't, I'm gonna leave you. And you got nobody else–no friends, even your brothers have given up. I'm it. I'm all that's left. So you're having the surgery."

Well. That's one way to do that.

✦

"A condom?" Alex and Briar both repeat incredulously, grimacing in disgust at the story Meredith and April are telling them.

"Yep."

"Wait, and she aspirated it?" Cristina continues the questioning, making Briar gag at the thought.

"A condom in her lung? I'm gonna gag." Jackson says, before moving faster so that he's at the front of the group.

"And her fiancé thinks she's a virgin." Meredith adds, making Briar laugh before she moves to stand next to Jackson, glancing into Jerry's room.

"Okay! Here we go. Here we go. Check it out." Jackson tells them, exchanging a grin with Briar, before they let the others peek into Jerry's room.

"Ew. Ew. Ew." Cristina exclaims, her and Meredith putting their hands over their mouths.

"Okay, now I think I'm gonna gag." Alex says with a grimace.

Briar holds back a laugh, feeling slightly guilty about showing them Jerry, but also finding their reactions funny.

"Oh, look at Grey. It looks like she's gonna heave," Cristina points out, all of them watching as Lexie physically swallows down the urge to gag.

"She's looked like that all day," Jackson says with glee, making Briar chuckle.

"You should've seen her when he got out of the car. She screeched." Briar tells them, making Alex grin.

"I mean, I kinda wish I was in there." Meredith says slowly. "Seriously, how often does a case like this come along?"

"He's mine, Grey, back off." Briar tells her lightly, getting nudged by Jackson. "Fine, he's ours. Happy now?"

"Thrilled." Jackson tells her with a mocking smile, getting an eye roll back as she bumps him with her hip, shaking her head in amusement.

"About as often as 27-year-old virgin brides." Alex answers Meredith's question, making Briar laugh again.

"She could still be a virgin." April tries to defend her patient, all of them turning to her. "Just 'cause she's 27, I mean, it's–it's not impossible."

Oh.

"Yeah, I mean, it's possible." Briar agrees, getting a grateful smile from April that falls a moment later. "That doesn't change the fact that you pulled a condom from her throat, though."

They really lucked out with interesting cases today.

✦

"So, Karev, how old were you your first time?" Jackson asks, all of them gathered around the nurses station. Briar rolls her eyes, although she is amused at the questioning.

"15, school nurse, back of her car." Alex answers, ducking down to drink from the water fountain. Briar grimaces, disgusted by his story. They've talked about it before, and Briar continues to insist that he was taken advantage of, not that Alex wants to hear that. They've fought about it, although Briar tries not to state her opinion on it. If Alex wants to avoid having another trauma to piece through, Briar can bite her tongue.

"15? That's impressive." Jackson muses, making Briar roll her eyes.

"When I was 16, she taught me how to drive that same car." Alex continues, making Meredith laugh.

"Sophomore in high school, Paul Waxman, had absolutely no idea what he was doing." Meredith informs them next, making Briar laugh. She's had her own experiences with unenjoyable sex.

"19." Cristina throws out, making Alex look skeptical.

"19?"

"Mm-hmm. I was very focused on my studies. It was my chem T.A. He was a whole head shorter than me, but . . . man, he was smart."

"Junior prom, Sarah Richardson and Penny Caraway, together." Jackson goes next, clearly reminiscing by the look in his eyes. Alex whistles while Briar reaches over and gives him a high-five. "I knew exactly what I was doing."

"Would they say that, if I were to call them?" Briar asks, pretending to write down their names on a post-it and cackling when Jackson shoves her shoulder.

"They absolutely would. What about you?" Jackson asks her. Briar ignores the way she sees Alex tense up next to her. She views her first consensual time as the time she lost her virginity, so the line of questioning doesn't bother her.

"22, Kelly Severide, in Vegas." Briar says, reminiscing with a sigh. That was an amazing night. "He knew what he was doing, we did not leave that bed. Best wedding night ever."

Jackson laughs at that, the others joining in. Briar is just glad that Alex relaxes once he hears her story.

"22? Really?" Meredith asks her, sounding surprised, and Briar just smiles. She doesn't mention that it took her six years to get past the mental block revolving around sex for her. Honestly, her first real time having sex was perfect, and she has no regrets about waiting as long as she did.

"Well, I think that's great." April states, making Briar turn to her in surprise. "That you waited until you were married, I mean. It's very romantic."

Briar gives her a small smile, before considering it. "I'm honestly not sure romantic is the word to use, since we met that night. It was definitely passionate though."

Briar can't help but laugh at the look on her face at that.

"Well, what was your first time?" Jackson asks April, making Briar frown when she sees the flustered blush on April's face.

"I'm not talking about this. It was a private–private memory." She stutters, making Briar feel uncomfortable about them having this conversation.

"What happened, did the guy die?" Alex questions, and Briar shuts her eyes, trying desperately not to laugh. How is that his first conclusion?

"Hey, it's none of our business." Briar tries to change the subject. She's 99% sure that April is trying to cover up the fact that she's still a virgin. Briar personally doesn't see the big deal in that, but she knows the others will have a lot to say about it.

"Oh, did it last like, three seconds, so you don't know if it counted?" Cristina asks her, making Briar grimace with the memory of those encounters.

"Ugh, I have been there." She commiserates with Cristina, turning and giving Jackson a dirty look when he laughs at that.

"No." April scoffs. "Uh . . . it was on the beach at sunset. It was beautiful."

Definitely a virgin.

"Sunset?" Jackson asks, laughing. "Really? Weren't–weren't there people there?"

This is mortifying to watch. Briar turns away from April, absentmindedly sorting the nurses station for something else to focus on.

"Oh, on the beach? Man, you get sand up in places you don't want to get sand." Cristina states, making Briar nod her head. Her and Kelly did that one time and one time only. It wasn't romantic or fun.

"Mosquitos." Alex adds.

"I have a scar on my back from beach glass." Briar tells them. "That shit hurts. I got sand in the wound instantly, and us having moonlit sex turned into Kelly trying to dig sand and glass out of me with no lighting. He did a good job though, the scar is actually pretty cool."

"See? Sand is the worst." Cristina agrees, before Alex's shout makes Briar jump.

"Ha! You're a virgin!" He exclaims, pointing at April.

"No, I'm not." She tries to argue, although her voice is too weak for it to be believable.

"She is." Jackson agrees, starting to laugh.

"Oh, my God, you are!" Cristina gasps. "Oh, my God. Do it. Do it. Do it to her right now." She starts pushing Alex in front of her, the man making a show of taking off his lab coat. "Alex, go deflower her. Do it! Do it!"

Briar feels horrible for April, but she can't help but find the reactions funny.

"It was–it was on the beach at sunset, okay?" April tries. Briar just shakes her head at her.

"Okay, leave her alone." Meredith says, amusement heavy in her voice. "April, the beach at sunset is very nice."

"Yeah, it's romantic." Briar tries, giving her a thumbs up. "It's cute and sweet. It fits you."

Briar is pretty sure they only make her feel worse.

✦

"Dr. Bailey, how can you tell which is horn and which is finger?" Jackson questions, all of them watching as she cuts through the horns on Jerry's hands.

"If there's no bleeding, I'm still cutting off the horn." She says, which is fair enough. "If there's a lot of bleeding, I'm probably cutting off a finger. Sometimes this job is very simple, Dr. Avery."

She gets a section removed, lifting it up for Lexie, who looks a second away from throwing up at the sight.

"I can do that if you want." Jackson tries to help Lexie.

"She's fine. Right, Dr. Grey?" Dr. Bailey asks very pointedly, just as Lexie grabs the horn to dispose of it.

A few hours later, Briar, Mark, and Jackson are working on his legs. Dr. Bailey and Lexie are working on his arms, still removing the horns. When Mark sighs, Briar twists to see the section he's working on, grimacing when she sees what he sees.

"What?" Dr. Bailey asks, everyone looking over to them.

"Well, I thought I had some normal skin here, but it's already starting to grow warts." He explains.

"What does that mean?" Lexie questions.

"It means Jerry's not going to get his skin grafts anytime soon." Dr. Bailey takes over explaining. "He's gonna have a lot of open wounds."

"So he was right." Jackson states. "He is gonna look like Frankenstein."

"Frankenstein was the scientist, not the monster." Briar says, unable to resist pointing it out this time. "What? He was."

"Maybe I should go update the wife." Lexie states, clearly trying to get out of the room. "You know, prepare her for the worst? I mean, if–if I were her, I would–I would want to know, sooner than later."

"You're not going anywhere." Dr. Bailey tells her.

"Which is fine, because I'm–I'm fine right here." Lexie tries. "I'm–I'm just saying, if–if, you know, if I were the wife, I'd want to know, sooner than later."

When Dr. Bailey looks up to give her an annoyed look, Lexie stops trying to get out of the room. "Later it is, then."

Lexie continues adding the pieces she's handed to the covered up scale, managing to hold in her gag reflex every time. Briar is honestly impressed.

"12 pounds," Jackson notes after she adds another piece. "EBay, here I come."

Briar and Lexie both laugh at that, making Dr. Bailey chastise them.

"Dr. Sinclair, Dr. Grey. You are doctors." She scolds them, only making both of them laugh harder. Jackson joins in a moment later. "If you are going to be doctors, caregivers, you need to be able to handle anything the human body throws at you."

A moment later, she gasps loudly and leaps from her seat: "Oh! Oh, God! Look right there. A spider. It's a spider. Oh! J–No, no."

Briar gags at that, leaning back as a shiver works its way through her body. Does he seriously have spiders on him?

"I'm going to throw up." She mumbles, getting an amused look from Jackson.

"Come on. Somebody do something, please. It's a spider." Dr. Bailey exclaims, all of them watching as the spider crawls along the table, making Briar gag. She does not want to think about where it came from, or if there are more of them.

"That?" Lexie questions, making Briar and Dr. Bailey both shout 'yes!' at her.

"Yes! It just crawled right out of that horn!" Dr. Bailey shouts, all of them watching as Lexie scoops it off the table and steps on it a moment later. "Quick, kill it! Kill it!"

Briar gags again at the squishing noise the spider makes against Lexie's shoe.

"Thank you. Thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Okay. Okay. Whew." Dr. Bailey gasps out, slowly calming herself down. Briar copies her deep breaths, trying not to freak out as she slowly sits back down on her own stool.

✦

"April! Hey, wait up!" Briar calls out, rushing to catch up with the woman.

"What? Want to make fun of me some more?" She sighs, making Briar raise her eyebrows.

"I literally didn't make fun of you during that whole conversation." She points out, and then shakes her head when April looks embarrassed. "Whatever. Look, who cares what they think? Virginity is just a–"

"I care! Okay, I care." April snaps, before sighing and looking down. "It's embarrassing, the way everyone looks at me when they find out."

"I'm sure it is." Briar admits, shrugging at the look she receives. "April, it's all about your mental state. You're letting them get to you. Own your own life, and you'll feel way less embarrassed, is all I'm saying."

"Easy for you to say." She grumbles. "You're not a virgin, and you have the romantic story of losing it! I'm just the adult who never–"

"Twelve." Briar interrupts her. She holds eye contact when April looks up at her, looking confused. "I was twelve. My step-dad got drunk and . . . well, I won't give you the details, but that was my first experience with sex. I just don't count it, because it wasn't consensual."

"I'm–" April starts, looking horrified, but Briar cuts her off before she can start apologizing for something that she had no part in.

"Don't apologize. I'm only telling you this because I want to explain how I view sex. Virginity is nothing more than a social construct: it's not something you ever have to lose if you don't want to. Sex is what you make of it. It can be a big thing if you want it to be, or it can be something casual. And it doesn't matter if you never have sex, and I'm sorry that people make you feel bad about it. But at some point you have to stand up for yourself."

Briar yelps when she's pulled into a hug, laughing a moment later.

"No offense, but we're really not there yet." She says lightly, pulling away, before nodding her head to the exit. "Walk with me to Joe's?"

✦

"Hey!" Briar cheers when she sees Jackson, scooting into the booth next to him. April slides in next to Alex across from her, and Meredith joins Briar, having just grabbed another round of drinks. "Remember our bet from the other day? About the accident? Well, neither of us were right, 'cause it was that lightning strike."

"I forgot all about that!" Jackson tells her, before frowning. "Wait, so do neither of us win?"

"I vote we split the bill between us tonight." Briar decides after a minute, making him grin as he nods in agreement. "Cool. God, can you believe the cases today? Oh! How'd it go with the condom girl?"

"Turns out she was practicing during her bachelorette party." Meredith tells her with a laugh. Briar chokes into her screwdriver, not having been expecting that. "Yeah! I guess she was practicing how to put on a condom with a banana and choked. Literally."

"Oh, my God." Briar gasps out, thanking Jackson when he hands her a napkin, wiping her mouth with it. "I did not see that coming."

"Speaking of virginity. April. Come on, just admit it. You're still a virgin." Alex says, making April look annoyed.

"Hey, there's no shame in it." Jackson tells her, making her look up.

"Really?"

"No, there's shame." He disputes his own claim a minute later.

"A lot of shame. Tell her, Mer." Alex adds in. Briar rolls her eyes but doesn't speak up, instead drinking more of her drink.

"I, um . . ." Meredith starts, clearing drunk. Jackson and Briar both laugh at the look on her face. "I was gonna say something, and then I forgot to stop drinking."

"Classic Meredith Grey." Briar says with a smirk, leaning her head on Meredith's shoulder and smiling to herself.

"Has anybody seen Cristina?" Meredith asks, just as Lexie arrives. Briar shoves Jackson further into the booth to make room for her on their end.

"Okay, so today only one person looked at me like a psycho who might run down the hall naked, and Dr. Bailey screamed like a little bitch baby over a spider, so I'm feeling pretty good, you know, for a crazy person." She announces, making Briar laugh even as she shivers in memory of that spider.

"Well, nobody gives a crap if you're crazy. We're all crazy." Jackson tells her.

"Yeah, look at April. She's still a virgin." Alex points out, laughing, while Briar sighs and wonders if they'll ever move on from the topic. It's honestly not as surprising as everyone is making it out to be.

"Mark gives a crap, okay?" Lexie explains. "He stares at me like I'm a menace to myself and everyone around me. Wait, you're still a virgin?"

"Stop! Okay? Just stop." April says, making Briar lean forward in her seat. "I'm a virgin. Yes. So what? It's not something I talk about, okay? We all have things we don't talk about. Alex, you've been afraid of the elevator for, like, a month, but I never said anything because it's none of my business. And, Jackson, you wake up every night screaming because you have nightmares. Briar, you lied to everyone's face earlier about your virginity, but I don't see anyone getting on your case about it. And, Meredith, you don't talk about Cristina because you're afraid she's never gonna be the same Cristina again. And Lexie . . . for God's sake, Mark never thought you were a psycho. He loves you. That's why he stares at you, because he can't keep his eyes off the woman he loves. Of course, he's never gonna say anything 'cause he doesn't feel like he can. Look, we all have stuff we don't talk about! I am a 28-year-old virgin, mainly because I wanted my first time to be special, and then I waited too long, and partially because I'm pretty sure guys find me annoying. I'm a virgin. That doesn't make it drinks conversation. We all have stuff we don't talk about."

They all silently watch her chug the rest of her drink.

"Oh, April. I'm liking you more and more." Meredith breaks the silence.

"Thank you." She mumbles, and Briar scoffs.

"That makes one of us." She says bitterly, before shaking her head. "You know what, Jackson? I've got our tab this time. I'll see you all at home or at work."

"Wait–Briar–" She hears April start, looking horrified, but she just shakes her head as she nudges Meredith to get her and Lexie to move.

"No, you know what? When I said to stand up for yourself, I didn't mean for you to be a complete bitch. You can call people out without criticizing their PTSD." She says flatly, before making her way to the bar so she can close out and get home.

She can't stand looking at any of them right now.

✦

authors note:
i actually love amelia, and her conversation with derek about their dads death is one of my favorite scenes of them!

we're getting to the trauma bonded/living together part of season 7, my beloved <3

there's going to be funny moments and angst with them all living together. i think it's important to recognize that they're all traumatized in different ways, and that it'll show in different ways.

i've always hated the way people celebrate that scene of april standing up for herself. i get that she got mad and snapped, but to be like "hey you have nightmares and you don't use elevators after we went through something traumatic" is NOT the way to defend yourself. that's just cruel. but it's also human. april isn't the villain of this story, and she will eventually have a friendship with briar... it's just going to take a minute to get there.

i hope that everyone had a good holiday, if you celebrate! <3