The Present, December 1996

Layne sighed, eyeing the bag of smack on his night stand.  It was 3 am.  He had just gotten back from getting it.  He was slightly annoyed that he had to wait for Liz to fall asleep to sneak out of his own apartment & get it.  Apart of him didn't even understand why he felt he had to sneak it anyways.  His sister already knew that he was extremely active with his addiction.

He was embarrassed.

Embarrassed & ashamed.  He felt stupid & weak for still doing this.  For delving deeper into his disease, even after witnessing so many of his friends dying from it.

Watching Demri slowly die from it.

His excuse to use was the simple fact that he felt it was his fault.  That he had killed her.  Liz has been reassuring him these past two weeks that he didn't kill her.  But his brain couldn't absorb that information.

It was like he needed it to be his fault.

Tears stung his cheeks as he cooked up a larger amount than normal.  He went through the entire intoxicating ritual.  He couldn't help but to love the entire process of it.  Getting the bag, cooking it, inspecting the needle...  It was all four-play until you stick the needle in your vein & draw back.  Then it's sex...  And then, finally, the orgasm: the injection.

He shuttered & moaned after injecting himself.  It seemed to be way too much this time, making his body slump onto the mattress & quickly slide down to the ground.  His skeletal frame thumped loudly onto the floor, causing his night stand to sway.  The lamp on it clashed loudly on the ground & shattered.  The shards of glass stuck into the sweat-gleamed skin on his forehead.

He would've been scared, but he was too stoned to care.  His sunken eyes were rolled back in his skull, his jaw dropping.  Moans of extreme pleasure dripped from his chapped lips.

Grunts escaped him when he finally was able to peer around the room.  He wanted to get up & lie back down on the bed.  Lazily, his bony hand reached up towards the mattress.  Slowly, he started to get up.  His wobbly, jelly-like limbs betrayed him though, causing him to collapse loudly back down onto the ground.

Suddenly his eyes grew wide.  He took too much.  All he could think about is how he needed to get into the drawer of his nightstand. He needed to get up somehow & do a line of coke.  His heart was slowing down too much.

"Liz," he croaked.  He shook his head & cleared his throat.  "Liz!" he shouted this time.  Agony elongated his face as he kept those dull dope eyes on his door.  "Liz!"

She couldn't hear him.  He wasn't being loud enough.

Determined, he swung his tooth-pick leg into the wall.  It only took him a few more times until his door finally swung open.

Liz's face bled horror.  She immediately knelt down, those blue eyes bulging from her face.  "Oh my god, Layne!  What the hell?!"

He reached a sweaty palm to her.  "Gemme up, I gotta get to my night stand," he slurred out.

Liz fought back tears as she took in how terrible he looked.  She had never seen him this high before in her life.  It was horrifying.  Still, she did what she was told.  She gripped his hand & stood him up from the ground just to watch him fall pathetically back down on his bed.  He crawled over to his night stand, rubbing cocaine into his gums & quickly doing a few lines.

Suddenly, his eyes shot wide.  He sat up on the bed, glaring over at his sister.  His brows furrowed in shame when he noticed the tears trailing off her face.

"Thank you," he muttered, his voice less slurred than before.  He bit his lip, catching more fear in her eyes.

Suddenly she gasped, running into the restroom.  Layne immediately got up & ran after her.

"Liz, why are you running away--" he stopped himself when he turned to the mirror in his bathroom.  Blood was gushing down his face from his nose.  He turned back to Liz, immediately taking the towel out from her shaky hand & pressing it against his face.  His heart dropped to his stomach as he watched her break down bawling, falling onto the toilet seat lid.

"Liz..." Layne murmured.  He knelt down infront of her, placing a hand on her shoulder.  "Liz...  I'm sorry..."

She shook her head & squeezed her eyes shut.  "Why can't you just stop, Layne?  I just want you to stop," she sobbed.  She covered her face with her hands.  "You look horrible, you look like you're going to die...  I'm just watching you die...  I'm allowing you to die."

Layne's heart ached with guilt.  He glared back at himself in the mirror.  Tears cascaded down his face.  He was bone.  Just skin & bone.  He was the thinnest he had ever been in his life.  His eyes were tired & soulless.  His skin was gray & stretched tight along the bones that jutted from him.

Suddenly, he had realized something.  He glared back down at his sister.  She was bawling hysterically, scared straight into misery.  Because she was watching her brother kill himself.  She was watching someone she loved dearly kill them self.

She was feeling the exact same way he was about Demri.

Layne wrapped his arms around her & sobbed with her for what seemed like an eternity.  Eventually, he got her to stand up from the toilet seat & walk with him to the living room.  They sat down on the couch, smoking their cigarettes.

"I'm going to stop," Layne finally said.  His dope eyes slunk anxiously to peer back at his sister.  His heart sank when he noticed the doubt in her face.

"How are you gonna stop..." she slurred out, humoring him.  She creased her brow at him with worry.

He wetted his lips, puffing on his cigarette for a while.  "I need to head back to mom & dad's...  Need to sign my name off the lease here, get away from my connections."

"How can I take you seriously." Liz blurted.  She didn't even care anymore when she saw the pain burn on her brother's face.  She was tired of holding this all back.  He needed to hear the truth of this, he needed to know how much harm he had been dealing to her & his parents.

"Because I don't want to hurt you guys like Demri has hurt me," he admitted.  "This isn't fair to you...  This isn't fair to me either, but I hate it that you & mom have to watch me do this..."  Tears fell down his face again.  "It's abusive as fuck...  Fuck I'm sorry..."

Liz grabbed him & held him tight.  She stroked his greasy hair from his face.  "Prove to us that youre sorry, then.  Get clean and stay clean." She said when she pulled back.  She rubbed his shoulder in support, a sad smile coming up on her face.  "You need to move on from this, Layne.  You deserve to live."

A tiny smile curled on his emaciated face.  "...when are we heading back to mom's, then?"