Connor stared absentmindedly stared out the window, picking at his French Toast sticks with his fork. He was completely alone now. He had nothing left. Connor Murphy hadn't been Connor Murphy for a while. Not since he last kissed Evan. Connor was a vessel, now. His eyes were dark, his face blank. He sat there, quietly, lying to himself the entire time. The window was a portal to the outside, where birds fluttered by, the sounds of their wings like soft fur kissing itself as every strand brushed against its counterpart. The sun shone brightly. This was never supposed to be like this. Connor was supposed to marry Evan Hansen, not watch him nearly die.

Evan Hansen has been in a coma for two weeks, now, and it was all Connor's fault.

At least, that was the idea that Connor entertained, though none of it made sense. Connor and Evan were at the orchard, of course. That was where they always were. They sat in a tall tree, feelings of sadness cousins through them as they remembered when the place was still open and maintained. They sat at the only tree that wasn't bare and dry. It was their favorite thing. They loved the one large outburst of color in a world of disappointment and darkness. They were that for each other. Though they knew they weren't ever going to feel what they felt in that moment, it seemed to go so fast. Connor was going to ask Evan to marry him. He was reaching for the box in his pocket, when there was a gunshot.

And Evan was barely able to yelp before he almost slid off the branch.

It was a hunter. He meant no harm. Connor didn't blame him, but, he knew that if Evan had been placed just a little further away from Connor, then he would have been missed.

But Evan kissed Connor as Connor pulled out the ring.

It was Connor's fault.

He was sitting in Evan's hospital room for the fourth day straight, still staring out the window, his uneaten French toast sticks growing colder by the minute.

Just like Evan's hand.

The most painful thing for Connor was to watch as his beloved was taken to this dreadful place. The stench of hand sanitizer and boring hospital food was enough to make Connor vomit.

And then there was Heidi.

Now that hurt.

Heidi Hansen was completing her routine shift at the hospital when her son was rolled in, a sobbing Connor sprinting behind him. Explaining what happened to Heidi was one of the most difficult experiences that Connor had ever gone through. He was frantic, his heart pumping out of his chest, his eyes glazed with tears, his mouth in an ugly, open frown. His stomach did flips and bounds within his body, and the only thing he could get out for a solid twenty minutes was the single word, "Shot."

Heidi and Connor spent the next two nights sitting by Evan's side, before Heidi had to work again, leaving Connor all alone with Evan.

Naturally, Connor searched his phone contacts, scrolling down to find Insanely Stupid: Jared Kleinman. Who Else could he call? It was four days after the accident, and no one knew. Jared and Evan had been the best of friends since elementary school, and now, as full grown men, that bond had not faded, yet.

He heard a buzz, looking down to the end table to see Evan's phone, screaming with alerts.

36 new messages: Jared Kleinman

Dude, where the hell are you?

Connor choked back a sob as he stared at his phone, again, hitting the call button underneath Jared's name. It rang twice, before the inevitable: "Connor, have you heard from Evan?"

Connor swallowed, hard. "Jared... Evan... Evan was—well, uh, Evan was shot."

There was silence on the other half of the line, and Connor thought for sure Jared had hung up the phone. "Did I hear you correctly?" Jared paused again. "Did you say he was shot?"

"Jared, I—" Connor hiccuped. "Help."

"What hospital?" Jared's time was authoritative, but you could hear just a twinge if fear lining the syllables that fall from his tongue.

Connor spat information into the line, surprised that Jared hadn't heard sooner. He thought Heidi may have told him. Connor let out another choked sob.

"I'll be there as fast as I can."

And the line went dead.

All there was was silence. Connor stared out the window again, watching the birds fly by. He imagined the sound of their wings again. He imagined the sound of the cars driving by, way too fast because they're late to work. He imagined the sounds of families, laughing in the streets as they walked down the sidewalks. Connor wanted that. He needed that.

"Connor?" Jared's voice pulled him out of his daze.

Connor looked up at Jared, eyes flicking to Evan and back. Jared's did the same. He was dry. His voice was almost nonexistent. His eyes were redder than blood. At least that's how they felt. Connor opened his mouth, only getting a small noise out. He dug his nails into his arm, his eyes shouting tightly. "Ja... Jared," he choked. He broke down again, making Jared increasingly worried. "I... I can't... I can't lose him."

Jared rushed to Connor's side.

"Hey, Hey, Hey, Connor, look at me." Jared gently put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Connor. Connor!" Jared bit his lip. "Connor, you don't have to worry. I promise. Evan will be alright."

"It... it was so," Connor paused, his breathing getting heavier as his air intake was being cut off by his choking sobs. "It was so bloody, Jared. I was going to ask him to marry me, Jared. When I said I wanted to be bound by blood, I didn't mean like this!" Connor pulled out a white shirt with maroon stains on it. "Who hunts in an abandoned orchard?"

Jared looked at Connor, taking him into a sudden embrace. "You'll make him happy, Connor."

"What if I don't get the chance to?" Connor broke down some more, his eyes feeling like raisins as he was being deprived of moisture. "I love him so much. He can't... I can't..."

"Connor, he's going to be fine."

"I just wanted to pop out and say, 'Evan Hansen will you marry me?' But—"

"Of course I will."

Connor turned in the direction of Evan's hospital bed. He was weakly smiling at both of them. He was awake. Evan Hansen was awake, and smiling, after being literally shot out of a tree. "Con, Of fucking course I'll marry you."

Connor nearly attacked Evan in a hug, making sure to miss sensitive areas as he kissed him. "Oh my lord, Evan, I thought you'd never come back to us. I thought you'd never come back to me."

"Shut up and out a ring on it." Evan whispered in his ear.

And three days later they walked out of that hospital with a ring on both of their fingers, and a year long discount at A La Mode courtesy of Jared Kleinman.

—a/n—

I stan the treble makers 100%

Mainly because Ben Platt

Lmao his name was Benjamin in the movie and Benjamin in real life whoop de fucking doo

I didn't go to rehearsal today I'm so fucked

I'm letting down my theatre department

Okay guys I have a problem

I've got a crush

That doesn't even go to my school

I don't know what grade he's in

All I know is I went on Thursday to see my sister school's production of Little Shop Of Horrors

And damn this kid could sing.

He played Seymour and he hit such beautiful high notes that I used my friends Hand as a stress ball and there's still a handprint

Well I went on Thursday and wanted to tell him how good he was but I couldn't because I have crippling social anxiety and then I went on Friday and my friend dragged me over to talk to him

And when I say I have a type in guys here's what I mean.

Common interests:
Lanky:
Into theatre:
Nerdy:
Decently confident:
Kind:
Passionate:
Sense of humor:

Now here's this guy

Common interests:✔️
Lanky:✔️
Into theatre:✔️
Nerdy:✔️
Confident:✔️
Kind:✔️
Passionate:✔️
Into theatre:✔️

What do I do.

Honestly I'm seeing the show again on Halloween because they're so good

My school is fucked for GAHSTMAs man

Anywho lmao

He's also kinda insecure

But damn he belongs on broadway.

Good night nerds

I love you my Carcrashovercastyoungbloods

-Emily aka Foblvr