(You Got Me) Punch-Drunk Love, I Know.

⁂.

Ron Weasley has plenty of problems piling up in hounds. He can count on one hand how many he wholeheartedly gives thought to and which keep him up at night. But— wedged right in the valley between his index and his thumb he stops and runs his nails over the issue that he's unhealthily fixated upon. One that's cinnamon flavored, so delicately woven with satin ribbons and stars— and her name is Phoebe DuPont.

The first time he encountered her replays like a reel in his brain. Fresh off the boat in the hall in their first year, he saw her and swore she might've been more radiant than the candlelights illuminating her face. She ironically adorned her wild curls with a yellow ribbon headband that day, it was like a halo fit for an angel, but alas the devil always comes in the form of a mean kid and then the angel loses her halo. To be less metaphorical– a vitriolic little boy who (SURPRISE, SURPRISE!) turned out to be a Slytherin who teased her about her ribbons and childish nature (which Ron didn't understand, they were 11 at the time for Merlin's sake) and he had unfurled the satin thing and stomped on it. Phoebe hadn't let her guard down and stood her ground her very best, and Ron ever the kind gentleman helped put her halo back on. She thanked him with a peck on the cheek.

From that day forth, Ronald Weasley swore he'd be dating this girl by third year. Except there is a bump in his road to success. This of course is a bumped-up named Ernie Macmillan, and no matter how many attempts Ron takes at doing him in, he won't take his claws out of Phoebe. It had started in their second year when people were being petrified in each direction and the Macmillan boy who had grown irritably infatuated with Phoebe (which— totally unfair, Ron talked to her way before him!) had taken it upon himself to become Phoebe's bodyguard, which, again, Ron found ridiculous as for Phoebe DuPont was pureblood and therefore had no knife of petrification against her jugular.

Ron feels this weird sensation when he sees them together. It's like there's something filling his lungs until he can't breathe, the curvature of his eyebrows grows snarky. Harry has begun to grow concerned for his best mate, as he looks like he's about to launch a good Bat-Bogey hex Ernie's way whenever they cross each other in the corridor and Phoebe is enveloped in his arms very uncomfortably. Now that they're in their fourth-years it's grown worse.

Phoebe Dupont is an angel. Her words are honey-laced, she smells like cinnamon and she's kind to everyone. She helps Fred Weasley with his astronomy essays, when Neville Longbottom needs a pal to discover new plants with? She's there! Phoebe had always been very kind, and she's content with her life at school and at home, but yet, there's a thing perturbing her thoughts every night; Ernie Macmillan. Phoebe cannot pinpoint when their little situation sprouted; one day kids were being petrified and the next the entirety of Hufflepuff house was passing on the news that she and Ernie were a thing. Phoebe denied it to everyone from Cedric to Fred, and yet, Ernie persists that Phoebe is his to claim.

Yet, he has not formally asked for her hand. He does not know that she has a little gap between her front teeth, he always gifts her roses but is oblivious to the fact that they're her least favorite kind of flower. Ernie knows nothing and yet wants everything. Phoebe had grown sick of it, there's a feeling like being split down the middle and gutted open every time he lays his hands around her shoulders. Susan and Hannah know it, and yet they cannot pry him away.

But there is always a saving grace.

Admittedly, Phoebe DuPont knows not much about Ronald Weasley beyond the offhand comments regarding him that Fred makes when she assists him with Astronomy homework. And it's almost comical because it seems Ron knows everything; where Ernie falls short, Ron steps up. Ron knows she likes hibiscus flowers and gardenias over roses, he is aware that there's a gap between her teeth that just remained there post braces removal third year, and he knows that she's the best at Astronomy and is her favorite right behind Herbology.

With their fourth year encroaching and bringing forth an opportunity for Ron to take his chances and Phoebe to break free, it feels like bliss is at arm's length. From the Quidditch World Cup to the Yule ball— this is their year. Ron just hopes he doesn't tumble over before he gets to her.

Delainey Hayles, Phoebe Soleil DuPont
I. Hufflepuff, Hogwarts' Sweetheart

Rupert Grint, Ronald Billius Weasley
II. Gryffindor, Loverboy

Mike Faist,                Ernie Macmillan
III. Hufflepuff, The Competition

Liv Hewson,             Susan Bones
V. Hufflepuff, Ride or Die #1

Ella Purnell,             Hannah Abbott
VI. Hufflepuff, Ride or Die #2

౨ৎ
Anya Chalotra, Prof. Aurora Sinistra
Jacob Anderson, Louis DuPont
Jurnee Smollett, Lucasta DuPont
Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter
Emma Watson, Hermione Granger
Robert Pattinson, Cedric Diggory
Others, Respective Roles / As Described

(🕸) / copyright and disclaimer ;
I do not own 'Harry Potter' but it's fuck that lady and her mold walls until I die, I own Phoebe DuPont and all my original plot lines and dialogue, please do not plagiarize.

(📞) / warnings ;
This story will contain canon-violence, sexual innuendos, strong language, and toxic relationships.

(📼) / dedications;
special shoutout to my goat romie (pls lower the gun...)
and all my bad gyals nia len bells -lila wil jae eris mads brie abhi ells aria emmi -kiki ellie -liv mira issys and sid!  thank you for always having my back and supporting my delusions, love you my shylas...

(📝) / author's notes
1. here we are again... back on that bs because i'm suffering from weasley-itis..... this is more lighthearted than my usual stories so can we pls clap!

2. ron... oh my glorious lovesick king, someone must pray for him really. ha hates ernie, BAD. also yeah I kept the movie cast because i'm kind of attached, and the susan bones fc idea was from wil so creds to my pogue captain ily <3

3. also yeah poor phoebe, teenage boys suck really bad but trust we will save her! this story is so cute until that no-nose bitch comes back sighs. BUT HEY HUFFLEPUFF REP!!!!! i'm really excited for this u got no idea.

Without further ado, welcome to (Dear Sun.)