"COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS IS THE BIGGEST WASE OF YOUR PERCIOUS TIME"

Carson POV (24 YEARS AGO)
growing up most of the times in my life, I didn't have friends. I was always corked up away from the world and everything in it because of the life my dad created.

He was a powerful man but the even the most powerful men are affected by love. I was the only child tho.

I can still remember his name, Leon will. His walk, his usual words at the dinning during dinner. But never any day did my dad ever sat me down like this to talk to him. I barely saw him. It was only during dinner sometimes and rarely in the morning and he was always on the rush to somewhere only God will know.

I don't ever think he remembered my name talk less of knowing that he had a son. How funny!!

I can't recall much of my mom, Annesa will but she was strong as stoic, resilient and outspoken, sometimes I was baffled at her and the way she never let anyone topple upon her.

Unlike me, seared and alone having the mindset this was life for me.

I was homeschooled for as long as I can remember and the more I grew up, the more I watched in the late afternoon through the glass windows that felt like more like boundaries as kids my age walk back from school with their friends with smiles plastered on their faces jumping from one pavement to another in their chic uniform.

I always had the desire of going to normal school and maybe I thought just maybe I might have friends too and go to normal classes with detention and parties because obviously I was not a goody-goody.

My desire soon turned to upmost desperation and I was constantly nagging my father with the idea and as funny as it is, he agreed eventually but it wasn't easy but it was worth it. At least that was what I thought at the time.

I started going to this high school called Clifford high school and luckily for me my first day was as smooth as I never thought it will be. As I walked through the hallway. It seemed the word had already gotten out that I was 'will's boy'.

I didn't like it but it was kinda fun to know people couldn't make fun of me. I didn't like it tho in the sense that people didn't want to interact with me.

I thought what's the difference between home school and this? I was considering telling my father I was wrong and he was right game while walking down the pavement.

Till a certain person met me on my way back home more like the person annoyed me.

"hey will boy" the voice called and I ignored and he kept following me. Like what the heck? I finally faced him meeting a set of bright blue eyes.

"what do you want?" I asked sounding furious and he ended up flashing me a bright smile instead making me more confused.

"chill.....I just wanna talk" he said sticking his hands into his pockets his chocolate skinned, had light freckles that was hard to see in the burning sun.

"you don't even know me" I screamed out in confusion.

"Truth but we go to the same school, don't we now?" he asked still smiling. What a weirdo! I thought.

"I don't but since we're wearing the same uniform guess we are" I answered nonchantly.

"Yes we are!!! So I said I wanted to talk?"

"About what?" I asked.

"so I piqued your interested?" he said wriggling his brows at me.

" I am not" I said feeling annoyed at the core.

Few people passed us and saw us and whispering into themselves, I was already used to that, but it didn't reduce the hurt I felt. I was really alone and they never failed to remind me of that.

"You don't need to put your Mr. will play here for me, I like you just the way you are" the random annoying boy said to me resting his hand on my shoulder and just for a second I felt kind off better.

"Oh, thank you" I said feeling all happy all the sudden.

"Yeah by the way my name is Louis, Louis downs" he said as we shook hands.

"Carson will" I said and I couldn't believe I made a friend!!

"So you wanna hang out or you're in a rush back home?" he asked me.

My father will want me back early but I finally made a friend and I couldn't let that go now besides he let me walk alone hone after h called the driver for a emergency. I thought.

"Where are we going?" I said adjusting my brown bag on my shoulders.

"We'll going to a fun place but I'll introduce you to a few friends of mine" he said smiling. Something I noticed his very fond of.

"Oh" was all I could say. Without knowing why I was nervous. Meeting people wasn't my thing but I can see for Louis here he was a natural at it.

The only people I could meet freely were those who feared me because it was way easier.

He took me to the nearby children playground on the pavement to the left and that's where I saw a girl and two boys standing there and once the saw Louis their faces brighten up except the girl who stayed back with folded arms and one boy who had a still expression which twitch a little but I could barely notice.

"Hey Louis who did you bring over?" one of the boy asked. Come to think of it the two boys looked very identical with the dark skinned complexion and the matching white shirt with yellow stripes and brown khaki shorts outfits they wore.

The only difference I noticed was the one who talked earlier gave off a friendlier and cool vibe unlike the other one who did not even lift any cheekbone to smile or grin or anything just straight-faced.

"You all know will boy from school" Louis said.

"Oh yeah...so what's he doing here?" the boy asked more insistent.

"He wants to join the squad obviously!"

"Not just anyone can join you know Louis"

"I think he had gut" Louis said with confidence.

"Hehe.....just gut?" the boy laugh sarcastically.

"Yeah"

"Okay no sweat...let him come over for today then we'll see"

I thought about what there were saying like what does Louis meet by guts and for what exactly? And what am I coming over for?

Most times I wonder whether meeting Louis and the squad was a good or bad situation in my life because it's hard to tell.

"Okay Carson meet meanie Franklin and his quiet twin brother, Felix sin....I know their first name is SIN...can you believe that?!? But I promise you they are lots of fun" he continued.

Then this is scarlet downhill, the queen of the squad, she's sassy (he whispers in my ear) she's a lot but you'll learn to cope with her"

"Cope with me?!?" she finally talked in a little pitchy voice glancing at me and I looked away.

"Scarlet you know yourself" Franklin said and everyone laughed except me.

Without further ado, we started walking and gisting on the way, just getting to know each other and for a long while I just found where I belong, my people who just get me.

Our chats and talks abruptly stopped when we came in front of a abandoned mall.

"What are we doing here?" I asked out loud.

"Shopping" Franklin said smiling.

They are took the lead walking to the black dust covered entrance obstructed with long blonder. They scaled through as if it was a easy task. The interior was roughly nice.

There was still some stuffs on the shelf and Louis and the rest didn't waste time in stuffing them into their school bags.

"Are you guys sure we should be doing this?" as innocent as I was back then I asked them but they didn't pay me any interest.

Maybe I was just being naïve and I was actually desperate for friends at all cost.

"I'm leaving" I said taking my leave out the door but then Franklin voice halts me in my steps.

"Wait we're not stealing"

"Then what's going on here?" I said shouting a little. I was angry, angry at myself for being a dumbass.

"Carson pick anything you like" he told me instead

"I'm not interested" I said sadly.

"Of course you're not because we're not as fucking rich as you are" Franklin shouted at me and everywhere just remained hushed.

Honestly I didn't know what to say. I just scoffed then took my leave out the front door.

Many things roamed my mind that I didn't notice the raging dog until he braked and our eyes crossed. He looked at me with so much kill intent.

What the heck? I thought.

"Hess...what are you doing here?" a huge looking man who held the leash of the dog shouted. I was more confused than ever. Was he here before? I couldn't think of anything to say at that moment, Louis and the rest ran pass me and Louis grabbed my wrist making me run away with him in an unsteady pace until I finally get myself few seconds later.

"Carson run!!" Louis shouted.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I shouted back frustrated. All this wouldn't have happened if I just went straight home.

Once we know we had distance away from the huge looking man. After raining series of curses on us, we throttle back to walking slowing with panting chest.

"What were we doing here?" I asked and no one answered.

"Carson can you shut up!" Franklin spoke and I felt mute.

Maybe this was a bad idea. I was desperate for friends I came to the point of making friends with potential robbers.

"Hey" a shy voice trail behind me makes me to halt in my steps.

"Oh Felix" I said a little relieved but I was crept out a little.

"We're not as bad as you think" he said as if reading my mind.

"We we're robbing that store..." he said as I cut in.

"But what happened?" I asked hastily.

"You'll see. That's if you want to" Felix said leaving me more perplexed.

He wasn't aggravated like his brother, Franklin he was calm and cool but has a raging sprit but Felix was silent and introverted, if not this was the first time we actually talked.

I later fought the urge to leave so I followed them but this time kept a safer distance for sure escape. They finally stopped at one hospital orphanage. Now I was mystified what was going on?!?

The receptionist didn't talk much to us. We just casually walked in and they led me to a section for a bunch of kids, lean and tattered looking running toward the squad with hope flickering in their eyes.

I couldn't help but notice the ecstasy and happiness all written all over their smiles. They gave e very single item they collected at the store to the kids not leaving anything behind.

So this was what Felix wanted me to see. No wonder Franklin was so worked up, he had people counting on him.

Sooner we left the hospital just stepping out of the glass door standing out on the pavement of the road. I felt like shit.

I've just insulted them and did rubbish not knowing they had a reason behnd it all. I could never understand when I was will boy.

I felt dumb as fuck. I felt tensed and maybe they felt the same or was it all in my head.

"I'm sorry" I said not knowing when it left my lips.

"We're done so you can leave" Franklin said looking over at the blue vehicle that drove past.

"Okay" I said more like a whisper. Never have I felt so rejected before and it was so obvious that they wanted me gone.

Gathering all the courage I could muster I mange to walk out but then Louis voice cut down my steps.

"see you in school tomorrow"

"you still want to see me" I asked baffled.

"Yeah!!! Don't mind Franklin he will get used to you" he said winking at me and I was astounded.

"don't you guys want Carson back?" he asked the rest.

"yeah I guess he seems cool" Felix said scanning me as he tilt his head a little.

"his okay but he should mind his mouth" scarlet said looking like a total drama queen.

"welcome to the squad Carson!!" he said giving a huge hug.

"yeah okay, great" I said happy for no reason.

"give me your number so I can text you and add you to the group chat"

"alright" I said typing my number quickly on his phone and soon after we all parted ways.

Heyyyyyy loves sorry it's so long, just wanted to make it as elaborate as I can!! So what do you think?

I'm having a ask Carson chapter so if you have any questions for Carson about his life story please write on the comment section and if you don't mind to press the vote button too it will be appreciated!! I can't wait to see all the questions you have for Carson. The ask Carson stops on Monday so make sure you ask a lot of questions!!!!!!! Have a nice day and stay tuned!!!