Warning!

The following chapter will contain strong language and sexual violence, which might be emotionally unsettling, but reflects the reality of what is happening daily on college campuses. This story part is not meant for young readers so if you're younger than thirteen, please do not continue on reading, for your own sake. Also please don't try to reenact the following story, or read it if you're too young for it, your discretion was advised. Sincerely the author.

The chapter was requested by iiEXOSWife, so she's the one to blame! I'm kidding! But seriously, don't read it if you don't like this kind of stuff. Thanks for understanding.

Come on, pull yourself together. I silently told myself, but my body kept on shaking out of anger and fear combined together, despite how strong I tried to let go of this feeling. It'll be fine. Yeah, right... like that ever gonna happen. I tightened the grip around my knees as I remembered the stare in his eyes.

My own two seeing organs filled with tears and I closed my eyelids letting the darkness take over me. I couldn't handle the pressure I was put under anymore. I couldn't even share it. This time, not because I was scared, but I felt guilt for what happened. Somehow I could imagine that whoever hears my story will accuse me for it happening.

You brought this upon yourself. You're the one wearing those clothes for other's temptation. You're the one to blame. I was just an object for people's conversation, an interesting dilemma to solve. But not a real human being, who actually had to go through what they thought to be just a story. You never know how it really feels until it happens to you. Tell me, how can you give those advices with an easy heart, if you don't know the experience? What the hell do you know? Tell me, what?

His name was Jung Ho-seok, but everyone called him simply J-Hope... Why? Isn't it an easy question to answer? He was a light others were looking for in the dark, he was the hope, the one smiley person with contagious laugher, who would encourage everyone around him to follow their dreams, to do their own thing. He became my hope as well. The day he asked me out to prom, I thought that an angel made its way from heaven to earth, just so I could get this majorly important invitation. Or at least that's how it seemed to me back then.

Last year of school. Last month of school. Last day of school. Last hour... last dance... the prom. I felt sadness coming to me, because I had to leave a lot of things and many people behind me and move on, to go to college, to become an adult, to be Someone. But prom was the last thread holding me back, connecting me to my old life. And I wanted it to be a proper goodbye, and I couldn't imagine the better way to do it than when I had J-hope, my first crush, my first love next to me, ready to assist his lady of the evening, who, in this case, was lucky me.

The dance was going nearer the end with every second and surprisingly I didn't feel devastated at all. I could clearly feel happiness tingling inside me. I was ready to open the new page of my life's book and thanks to J-hope, who gifted me this evening, this page was going to end perfect.

"Tired yet?"

J-hope asked me smiling sweetly while handing a glass of drink. I took a seep and nodded blinking few times. My eyes were like glued together, I was enjoying the night, but my body told me obviously that I needed to get some rest.

"A bit."

I didn't want to blurt out that I was just dreaming about crashing on my bed for twelve good hours or so.

"I can take you home if you want."

He twirled his car keys on the finger and gestured to me towards the exit. I nodded once more putting unfinished drink's glass on one of the tables and hooked my arm on his as J-hope lead our way to the parking lot. I grinned to the sky filled with stars, and even the cold breeze couldn't blow away my good mood.

I heard a slight beep and a little light blinked in the dark as I recognized my prom date's car there, waiting for us two to hop on. I walked around trying to get on the passenger's seat on the other side, but J-hope was faster, as he ran around with a speed of light, and opened the front door for me. I gasped and silently thanked him for this gentlemanly gesture.

"This night was perfection."

I whispered to him as he stopped the car in the neighborhood, close to my house, but definitely not in front of my door. However, neither did I want nor needed to complaint about it, it just seemed strange. Silly thought popped in to my mind that maybe he forgot my address, but I ignored the little voice in my head as it seemed impossible. And the reason behind those actions was actually different.

Just not the one I could have expected.

"It's still isn't over."

He replied leaning in closer as my heart skipped. The temptation of this possible kiss was irresistible, but I couldn't even breathe, until our lips suddenly merged and I forgot my own name. I quickly gained back ability to breathe and forgot to inhale few seconds later as our lips was still brushing against one another doing their own little dance, the prom dance.

After quite a while I finally pushed him back chuckling and looked in to his eyes hoping to see the same joyful look he always had, the same look that caused me to get a crush on him. But instead of two sweet diamonds filled with love and harmony, his eyes seemed to have changed in to black holes sucking my right in to Hell.

"I should get going."

I softly spoke trying not to hurt his feelings and seem like I'm running away, I wasn't, I just really felt exhausted. I turned around to the car door and tried to open the door, but I quickly noticed that it was locked. I looked back at J-hope and almost screamed, since his face was so close to mine I thought my heart would jump out of throat.

"So early?"

He innocently questioned my actions and I just pat him on the hand trying to manage the fear that suddenly appeared like out of nowhere and tried to create nest in my mind and heart. He was scaring me.

"J-hope, can you open the door?" I asked him nicely, hoping that he will do that at instant, but instead he shook his head with those always dreamy eyes, which now seemed to be full of something I couldn't recognize. At least not on his cheerful face. "What are you doing?"

I tried to push him away shocked as he pressed his lips to mines once more without a warning or any second thoughts. I was tapping him on the back and trying just get him off in general, but he was stuck there and didn't move an inch.

"Come on... it's prom."

He suddenly changed the direction he was going and left my lips, now breathing on to my collar bone slowly running his fingers up down on my spine. I hit his palms trying to unzip my dress from the back, but unfortunately that was such a bad idea, it made him angrier and aggressive. If he was only playing before this now he couldn't control himself at all.

"Stop! For God's sake, please stop!"

I yelled at him and squeezed myself in the corner of passenger's seat, but there wasn't much space to escape from his greedy hands. He leaned in again and there wasn't a tiniest sign of the sweet, big, bright smile he would always share with me and others, this one was mischievous and... hungry.

"C'mon babe, don't be that ungraceful."

I wanted to pinch myself to check if it was still reality or if I was having some very badly plotted nightmare. Did he just seriously made that joke?

"Please...."

I whispered for the last time before he put his palm over my mouth so I couldn't be heard if by any chance I start screaming and a single tears escaped a prison of my eyes. This night was supposed to be my perfect goodbye. This guy was supposed to be my perfect date. This car ride... it was supposed to be... it wasn't.

He literally ripped my dress apart as he couldn't find the zipper on the back, but I wasn't crying over the silly fabric, which cost tons of money, I was genuinely scared, terrified even. J-hope pushed away the few strips of material still covering my body and grossly licked his lips. More than anything now I wanted for this night to be over. But time couldn't go faster just because of my wish. And I got stuck here, with him.

I could feel him heavily breathing on my skin and it bewildered. But I wasn't paying attention to it anymore. I just zoned out as I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction by seeing me broken. The lightning of pain stroke the next second, but my eyes were crystal clear looking in to nowhere.

"Bye."

He spitted dropping me off by my door with material just barely enough to cover so little of my body, I bet I would have felt better just naked. I walked home with an only heavy thought on my head. For some reason I felt... guilt. I must have done something to deserve the treatment I got. This kind of stuff doesn't just drop out of the blue for nothing. Or does it...?

I squeezed myself in to the corner of the room just like I did in the passenger's seat that day back then. It was my first day of college and ever since then... I was too afraid to show up to people. I felt like they would instantly see some sort of poster on my head screaming about what happened to me. Little voice was telling me that no one could possibly know. But I couldn't just listen to it, the fear was bigger.

I walked in to the hallway pressing my notebooks so hard it was miracle itself they were still fine. I looked around shyly and few friendlier faces awarded me with a smile, but I would just quickly look away. Those smiles didn't seem sweet to me, ever since that night, every smile seemed evil to me. They seemed to be laughing at my pain.

"What a pleasure to see this graceful face around here."

I lifted my head looking up from the floor and screamed unintentionally like in some really, really scary horror movie. It was J-hope he had this chill attitude as always and a sweetest smile, the one that gave me hope. Not the demonic one... My first love, my first nightmare, my first... it was him.

All though I loved him like crazy the memory of the night left a deep wound in my heart and mind. I couldn't love myself the same as I did before.

Hey, sorry if this was sad, different and weird, but I tried to combine two things and I am not too sure how did that work out. I got inspired by the newest song by Lady Gaga "Till it happens to you." It has a very strong, powerful message in it, something all of us should be aware of. Many girls, young woman, and not only they, many people in general experience sexual assault every day. I know that words can't help with anything like that, but it touch many people, way more than a silent whisper wishing for help from the lips of people, who had experienced it. I'm sorry if this was sad, but I feel like I had to do it. I can promise this kind of stuff won't happen again, cause it puts me in a really dark mood as well, and a personal apology to iiEXOSWife for making this not like you expected, but I hope it was enough.

The author.