Tonight I lied down

on the ground

of my living room.

We had made a bed on the floor

expecting company to stay over.

The company had never come

and there was a bed on the floor

with no one to fill it

so I volunteered.

I lay down on the ground

and begin to imagine my crush lying down next to me.

I imagine cuddles.

It doesn't feel right.

I'm puzzled.

I imagine a tender kiss

on the lips

of the one I had expected to feel a spark of love with.

The spark isn't there.

And so I realize

Tonight is

The night I realized I was crushless.

It feels borderline

terrifying.

I wanted to feel the spark.

The flutter in my heart.

But it failed to present itself.

I want to feel the spark.

But it fails to park

itself

at my heart.

The spark...

It's gone again....

I don't want it to be gone again.

I want to feel it!

Borderline need to feel it!

But it's gone.

Once again

I am crushless.

And so tonight is the night I realized

that this was

The night I realized I was crushless.

Crushless....