My mother never trusted me enough to be left alone. My father never loved me enough to ever be home. Now I'm getting chastised about acting like I'm grown. It takes a village to raise a child, but they just left me on my own.  I try to talk to my mom but she's too busy on the phone. "Don't you got home work to do.'' Yea and when I'm done you'll be gone.

I tried to act like the perfect oblivious child. But shutting up, not talking back just isn't my style. And when my head starts heating up they know my temper isn't mild. I try to sit back and keep calm. Do anything but go wild. Cause when I'm gone there's no telling what I will do in it. Probably find my cousins gun. Load it and start shooting it. Or I'll hit the reefer and be on some of that loony shit. I try to shut it all down you know cause I'm a boonies kid. I'm trying to stay in school then bank on Trump and George Clooney's shit. You know those people take from the world, and I'm just trying to benefit.

Since was young, mama never trusted my friends. Smile in their face; when I leave she picks their heads. When I come back they're to afraid to repeat what has been said. And when I ask it's like they all went brain dead. So I have to watch her like a hawk. The way she acts and the way she walks. The way she smiles when she talks. Cause she like to be slick. She thinks I wont cause she try to be quick. 

You see she tries to worm her way into my social circle. I always try to move around, but she start acting hurtful. It's always me my friends start going berserk on. My own family are the people I have to watch out for. Look I'm not saying I run these streets cause I'm an out law. I don't run the school cause I'm a know it all. I just know how to handle my business cause I'm too smart. And I know my people, they're fake. Trust what they say can be a Fatal Mistake. Then again you can't always tell 'em all. It's their decision to make. 

Bet you don't know how it feels to never be trusted. Never knew how it felt to make your mother disgusted. To get away with all the hate then finally get busted. To know that all the men who surround you are always lusting. To know what it feels like to start cutting. But I'm not telling all this just be fussing.  I'M TELLING YOU THIS BECAUSE I'M NUMB, I FEEL NOTHING!!

My family always getting people pitted against me. I carry around my weapons just for my own protection. I tried but I'm just not one for affection. Can't never feel safe, Trump won the election. My middle school wasn't racist, guess I was the exception. I remember the teachers told me "It's time for inspection" " Are you a black ass N**** or a wet backed Mexican?"

I recall making some friends and they promised they were real. So I chose to confide in them. Told them how I feel.  I learned the hard way that people are plastic. "Not everyone's your friend. Thar's a fact kids." 

TO BE CONTINUED>