1983- New Jersey, Sayreville

Jon's point of view

It was the night when everything changed. David, Tico, Dave, Alec and I were playing a show in a little club in Sayreville, my hometown. Sweat ran down my neck as I did my best to entertain the crowd in front of the little stage, flirting up a storm and flashing them my irresistible megawatt smile. We had already managed to gather up a small fanclub, and I had to do the most for that. I had to get mentally and physically into every girls' pants, and that was quite exhausting, I tell ya! But the crowd seemed to like it and that was all that mattered to a small band which wanted to be famous.

Anyways, we were just finishing our last song, me encouraging the crowd to come and see us again in a few days and Dave throwing his picks over to the squealing girls in the front row, when our manager Derek told me there would be someone who wanted to see me. Mentally shrugging, I high fived all of my bandmates, before bouncing down the few stairs to the small room behind the stage, still full of adrenaline from the show. As I rounded a corner, I directly saw Derek standing there with a young man. I heard them talking to each other and the young man politely smiled as Derek made a joke. As I walked over to them, the conversation directly stopped.

"Jon! Well, this guy here wanted to talk to you and I told him he should wait here until you had time. Should I leave you two alone?", Derek asked and I nodded, causing him to leave the room and me alone with that man I didn't even give a proper look yet. As I finally did, my eyes widened a bit. He was quite tall and skinny, his darkbrown hair looking like a beatles hairdo with extentions. He gave me a toothy smile which showed off his white teeth, which weren't perfectly straight but he seemed friendly. And his eyes made that point very clear. They were a deep chocolate brown and shining so brightly in happiness and openness, that I couldn't help but smile back at him. And then he started to talk, his soft husky voice surprising me a bit.

"Hey, I suppose you're Jon, right?", he asked and I nodded swiftly, taking the hand he had held out for me.

"I'm Richie and I'm here because I think I should be your lead guitarist", he then said, causing me to raise my eyebrows.

"I don't search a guitarist, I've already got one. A pretty good one too", I simply replied, thinking of Dave and his guitar skills. The light in Richie's eyes directly dissappeared, sadness overshadowing his face. He looked like a kicked puppy and it made me sick to see such a friendly seeming person like him that way.

"Well, you can still show me what you've got, y'know, the equipment isn't off the stage yet", I tried to cheer him up, even if I already knew he couldn't be better than Dave. Little did I know I was wrong.

We walked up on stage again and I sat down onto an amp, watching as the tall, skinny man carefully picked up one of Dave's Kramer guitars and plugged it into the amp I was sitting on, flashing me a hopeful smile as he placed his fingers on the strings. Expectantly I waited for him to start playing and after closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he finally did.

A beautiful, bluesy melody filled my ears as Richie began to get lost in the music. His playing was soft and gentle at first, but then changed to a more agressive one, full of hammer on's, pull off's, pinch harmonics and slides. I had to blink a couple of times to get the tears which had formed in my eyes away again, completely getting under a spell by that wonderful music reaching my ears. Richie played and played, and when he was finally done and opened his eyes again, I had to shake my head to clear it. This was him. This was the perfect guitarist for my band and I had to have him in there. Sorry Dave.

"Richie?", I softly asked into the silence, seeing him turning his head into my direction and that hopeful sparkling in his eyes returned.

"Yes Jon?", he asked back, insecurity but also hope in his husky voice.

"You're in the band."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

As soon as that word had left my lips, I found myself in a warm and tight embrace of the talented guitarist, just being able to smile.

~~~~~

Three weeks later

I was sitting on the floor of Richie's room, an acoustic guitar in my lap and a sheet of paper and a pen in front of me. Richie was sitting on the edge of his bed, his black Gibson in his lap and his eyes thoughtfully set onto something in the distance. He was worrying his bottom lip with his teeth while his fingers gently tapped the strings, you could almost see the tiny wheels turning in his head because he was thinking so hard. We were almost done with the eightth song for our first record, we had started to write together ever since I told Dave that Richie would fill in his place. Dave had just walked straight out of the studio we rented that day, not even deigning to look at me. It hurt to see him go, but it was meant to be this way.

Richie and I got along like a house on fire, we directly understood each other as well as if we had known each other for years. We could finish each others thoughts and sentences and spent nearly all of our free time together. Just like that evening in Richie's room.

"Jonny, I think I got it!", Richie suddenly exclaimed into the thoughtful silence, pulling me out of my thoughts. I turned my attention to the man in front of me, seeing his fingers racing over the frets of his guitar as he created a perfectly fitting melody. Man, he was just such a perfect musician! Sometimes I wondered if he and the music were the same thing because he got just so connected to it.

"Great Rich! This is it, write it down please so we don't forget it! And after that, we have to take a break, I'm starving!"

Richie just nodded with a smile, scribbling something down on a paper and afterwards placing his guitar carefully back in its stand. He then rose from his sitting position and stretched, his shirt riding a bit up and revealing a part of the caramel coloured skin of his belly. I just stood as well, following him down the stairs and into the kitchen of his parents' house.

"Mom said she had left Spaghetti here for us to warm up, but if you don't want them, we could also order a pizza", Richie stated, leaving me shrugging.

"I had Spaghetti yesterday, y'know, because of the Italian roots of my dad, but if you want them, it's fine by me", I simply replied, watching Richie leaning against the counter and watching me. For a reason I couldn't explain, a shiver ran through me.

"Let's order a pizza then. Which one do you want? The same as always?"

Pizza had gotten the main food we ate in those days, but it never seemed to get boring for either one of us. So after the few times we spent together, we already knew each others' taste and took turns in ordering. It was a bit cheesy, I must admit.

"Yep, that's fine by me!", I simply stated, getting myself a beer out of the fridge and watching Richie head for the phone. I smiled at the thought of how close we had become in such a short amount of time, and my mind wandered off to that quote I had read in a magazine one day.

Throughout your life you will find one person who is unlike any other. You could talk to this person for hours and never get bored, you could tell them things and they won't judge you. This person is your soulmate, your best friend. Don't ever let them go.

I started to consider Richie being my soulmate, because I never felt a connection like that with anyone else before. Richie was unique, he was something special to me, and especially something I never wanted to loose. My soul was at peace and happiness whenever I spent time with him, I even already considered that my soul was drawn to his. But did he feel the same way?

Richie came back after a while, smiling at me wholeheartedly, like always, and gestured me to follow him to the couch in the living room. There we just sat down and I closed my eyes, suddenly feeling a head resting itself on my shoulder and soft brown hair tickling my cheek. I just smiled, leaning into the warm embrace he had created through laying an arm around my shoulders, thinking about how much I missed this. I had had so many girls in the past, but no one of them could just sit with me and hold me like Richie did right now. Wait, I compared Richie to the girls I had. Well, just leave that out for now.

With Richie I just felt whole, like without him there would be missing a part of me. Like our souls were two of a whole and lost without each other. Even if Richie was a goofy weirdo sometimes, I still liked him and the way he was.

I liked him a lot.

~~~~

I was just finishing the last slice of my pizza as I noticed that Richie was watching me. His deep brown eyes trailed over my face, hanging on my chewing mouth for a while before he matched my gaze and looked into my eyes. And then I noticed it. He was gorgeous, even if I wanted to deny it. He had so many facial contours that shouldn't go together, but they did. Like his clear-cut jawbone and his almost babyish cheeks. And the mean thing about that was, that he knew how weak he got everyone through that, especially the girls.

Well, and me.

As I noticed that we had just stared at each other for a few minutes and I had already eaten up my slice of pizza, I awkwardly cleared my throat and Richie directly dropped his gaze to his plate.

"Should we go upstairs again and go on working? Or would you like to do something else?", I asked him, fumbling with my fingers before picking up a strand of my hair and twirling it around my forefinger, studiously avoiding his eyes.

"Yeah, that's fine by me." came the simple response from the other side of the table.

"I'm gonna clear the table then", I whispered, searching for a way to get out of the awkward situation. Richie didn't say anything, he just leaned back in his chair and continued to avoid eye contact.

So I got up and picked up the plates, rinsing them in the sink before drying them with a towel. I opened the cupboard where the plates were stacked and tried to put them up, but I was too short. As if on cue, I felt a warm body behind me and a hand reaching out to take the plates from my hand. I just held my breath as Richie put his other hand on my hip to steady himself before stretching out and placing the plates in the right place.

But he didn't move back, he just continued to stand there, his warm chest pressed up to my back and his hand resting on my hip. My eyes fluttered closed as my heart beat rapidly against my ribcage, my thoughts trying to deny the fact, how good it felt. How good and right his body felt against mine. I couldn't help but lean my head back against his chest, hoping he wouldn't flinch. Thank God he didn't.

"Should we go upstairs again, Jonny?", I heard him ask, the words rumbling through the chest beneath my ear and sending a shiver down my spine. I wanted to remain here, in that situation, forever, trapped between the damn sink and Richie's warm body. But I knew we had to break the moment.

I simply hummed in agreement and directly felt the loss of contact as he took a step back and lifted his hand from my waist. Trying to act normal, I walked up the stairs again, a thousand thoughts running through my mind. He had wanted to be close to me, didn't he? He could've stepped back easily if he hadn't wanted it. Maybe I should just ask him.

As soon as Richie pushed the door shut behind us, I looked up at him. He leaned against the door, arms crossed over his chest and his head slightly cocked to the side. Damn.

"Rich, I think I need to tell you something", I started, but after letting those words leave my lips not knowing what to say next. I just awkwardly stood there, not wanting to sit on Richie's bed because it suddenly seemed weird. Desperately I looked up at Richie again, feeling insecure and terrified. I liked him. I liked him in the same but yet in a so different way I had liked any girl before. And I had known it right from the start. But it dawned to me that I could never tell him without loosing him as a friend.

"Hey, c'mere Jonny, are you alright?"

I suddenly found myself in a gentle hug from Richie, feeling how he wiped a few tears off my cheeks with his thumbs. I hadn't even noticed that I had started to cry and that definitely wouldn't help at all in the situation I was in. I just concentrated on the warmth and protection of Richie's embrace, taking a shuddery breath and leaning my forehead against his shoulder.

"What would you like to tell me, Jonny?", Richie finally whispered softly, running a hand soothingly over my back and creating tingles on every spot he touched. I just took another deep breath and finally looked up into his big, chocolate brown eyes.

"Rich, could it possibly be? Could we possibly be soulmates?"

My question met the silence of the room, nobody daring to say something just yet. I chose to say something first, because I could feel Richie being slightly overwhelmed by my words.

"I mean, I just feel so drawn to you ever since we first hung out and I feel like I've known you since forever. So I just thought that maybe-"

"Yes", Richie suddenly interrupted me. "I know what you mean. I considered it as well, but I didn't thought you'd think the same."

His answer surprised me a bit, but soothed me as well. At least he felt the same way over that subject. But was there even more than friendship between us? Wasn't there a saying that soulmates often became lovers?

Whatever happened, I would still believe in the old saying 'The heart wants what the heart wants', and if that meant my heart wanted Richie, then so be it. I couldn't change my feelings even if I tried.

~~~~

Three weeks later

Richie and I had become even closer since we considered each other as soulmates, and that was also positive for our songwriter relationship. We had had the whole album done by the end of the fourth week we had known each other and had started to promote it at our daily shows in the little shady bars of New Jersey. I practically lived at Richie's house, because it was never worth going home if I came back in the morning at the next day. I slept on a mattress next to his bed and we worked, goofed around or watched TV if we weren't out to play a show. I liked the life I was living right then, but there was something missing. I was missing being held at night, being kissed goodnight, waking up to the regular breathing of someone I loved beside me. So I decided I would take a chick home that night.

We were partying in the club we had played in, the girls watching me and Richie all the time. David, Alec and Tico had already dissappeared into a backroom, nailing some willing chicks before coming back out and looking for more. Richie and I had just stood at the bar and drunk a few beers, when I spotted a tall brunette chick watching me. Smirking I excused myself from Richie and went over to the girl, flirting like hell and using all my seduction skills to get her to say yes.

Soon after that we left the bar, but I noticed that something was wrong. As I looked back for a short glimpse, I saw Richie standing in the doorway of the bar, looking at me with hardened features. In the dark of the night I couldn't really see the emotions in his eyes clearly, but I guessed it was something like hurt and maybe... jealousy? I just said to myself that he was jealous because he didn't get the chick I was going home with, but I knew that she was totally not his type. Too tall, and not blonde. I decided to just go on following the girl and ban Richie from my thoughts, but even later, when we laid on the sheets of the girls' bed, basking in the afterglow, Richie's gaze burned itself into my brain.

~~~~

The next day I woke up with a hand laying on my chest and a warm body breathing beside me. This had been everything I had wanted, right? But why did it feel so wrong?

Gathering my thoughts and clothes I dressed quickly and silently left the girls' apartment, heading down to the dead end of Harris Street, Woodbridge, to Richie's parents' house. While I got up the few stairs to the front door, I silently prayed he would open. I knew now what had been wrong this morning when I woke up. Everything had been just fine, except from the fact that the brunette hair on the pillow next to me had belonged to the wrong person. And now I hoped that the right person would open the door.

And suddenly I saw a silhouette heading for the door. Wait, that wasn't Richie. The silhouette was much too small for that.

"Hey, what do you want here young man?", a blonde girl greeted me as soon as the door opened, the wide smile on her face telling directly what had happened the night before. So Richie had taken someone home as well. The realization felt like a stab to my heart.

"I...I uh... I think I come back tomorrow", I simply replied, suddenly feeling like throwing up and trying to flash the girl a friendly smile, which had to look like a horror clowns' smile. Just as I was about to turn around and walk to the bus station to get back home, a voice came from inside.

"Jonny... You wanna come in?"

Richie was standing on the stairs, only a pair of sweatpants on his legs and an unreadable look on his face. I gulped heavily, looking down to not be forced to look at the expanse of caramel coloured skin in front of me.

"I was just about to go, we can meet tomorrow. I see you're busy." There was bitterness in my voice at the last four words that left my lips and I was sure Richie heard that. He could read me like and open book.

"I was just about to bring her home, then I'm free. You can wait here for me. And I got a new little something to show you, so you're not able to say no", Richie replied, leaving me sighing and nodding slightly. So I passed the girl and Richie, who was just putting on a shirt, and left straight upstairs into Richie's room. I stretched out onto my mattress on the floor, before deciding to open the windows. It was still smelling like sex in the room and I couldn't stand that. I couldn't stand the thought that the person who meant the most to me was getting so intimately connected to someone that wasn't me. I sounded like a lovesick girl.

Well, I was one in some way.

~~~~

Richie came back maybe twenty minutes later, in which I had dozed off for a while. He got upstairs and found me sleeping on the mattress, curled into a ball and frowning. I didn't know how long he was watching me that way, but I woke because of the gaze of someone burning into me and the feeling of soft skin gently brushing over my cheek. As I opened my eyes, I directly looked into Richie's chocolate brown ones and noticed that his hand was cupping my cheek while his thumb was gently brushing along my cheekbone. Awkwardly he pulled back after a while, sitting back on his haunches and letting me sit up as well. There was a really uncomfortable silence, which we both wanted to break. Finally Richie did.

"And? Was she good last night?"

Damn. Did he have to ask this now?

"Yes, and your girl?"

"Good as well."

Again there was that silence which contained so much tension that it was almost unbearable to remain silent.

"Jonny?"

"Mmh?"

"I mean, it was good in the moment. Afterwards I felt empty, like there was missing something. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I know Rich."

Again there was silence, but this time it was relieving, because the so longed words were finally spoken.

We just continued to gaze into each others eyes, thrills chasing down my spine as Richie bit his bottom lip and moved slightly closer. My eyes wandered over his shaggy hair, which had grown out a little more and which had gotten teased with some hairspray to get more volume into it, over his deep brown eyes with those sparkles in them, and over those luscious rosy lips, whose plump bottom one Richie was nervously sucking into his mouth. He seemed so innocent, but I knew that he definitely wasn't. But I was quite sure we both knew he was irresistible.

My fingers twitched out of longing to touch, but I wouldn't give them permission until Richie had given me one. I needed to say something, needed to tell him what I felt in some way.

"Rich?"

"Yeah Jonny?"

"I don't want you to be with anyone else."

God, that sounded so damn selfish.

"Why?"

"It just... it just seems wrong... ahh... I don't know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't take advantage of your life and your decisions like that."

Richie looked at me surprised and concerned, not really sure what to say. He opened his mouth just to close it again like he ran out of words.

"Jonny... Are you jealous of the girl I left with yesterday?"

The question hit me completely offguard. I wasn't jealous, was I? I was just longing for Richie's attention, for his affection and maybe even... his love? To be serious, all of those points confirmed the fact that I was jealous of that blondie. But I couldn't say that so damn straight into his adorable face.

"Are you jealous of my girl from yesterday?", I shot back, almost breaking out in sweat because I felt so caught. He shouldn't know how desperate I was. To my surprise, he tried to answer my question.

"Um, well, yeah. Kinda... I just feel like there shouldn't be any other person with you, except from... Oh, fuck it! I just can't say it out loud."

My eyes shot up to meet his in surprise, my own heartbeat suddenly sounding way too loud in my own ears. Did he possibly... like me back? I didn't even dare to think about that. But I had to be honest with him. That was the only fair thing to do. I had a 50/50 chance.

"Yeah, I am jealous of your fucking blondie. I wanted to be in your arms instead Rich, I wanted to be close to you. With you, and only you, I feel complete and at peace. I don't know if you would call that love, but it definitely feels like it. The problem is, it feels so right, but my head tells me it's wrong. But I'm pretty sure that something that feels so right can't be wrong now. Please don't hate me for that Rich, we can still be friends-"

I got interrupted by the warm, soft lips I had fantazised about only moments before, they softly pressed against mine while their owner slowly snaked a strong arm around my waist. My eyes shot open in surprise, only to close again and let the sensation of his gentle touches invade my body. My hands slowly slid into his silky hair, sifting through the soft strands and pulling him even closer, even if it wasn't really possible. Richie pulled back a bit, nipping at my bottom lip with his teeth before soothing it with his tongue. I couldn't help but open my eyes halfway, seeing the flushed cheeks of my soulmate and the moist, rosy lips worrying mine. Slowly but surely he drew back, causing us both to open our eyes and hold the gaze for what seemed like an eternity.

"Jonny?"

"Yeah, Rich?"

"Aren't soulmates meant to become lovers?"

A shiver raced down my spine as Richie used the word lovers, and with that, even if it was indirectly, meaning us and our relationship.

"So you like me back?"

"What a question Jonny! Of course I like you back, I'm only human after all! You're so perfect that you could have anybody in the blink of an eye, male or female."

I couldn't help but blush at his statement, looking up as he wrapped both of his arms around me again. Tingles rushed through me and after quite a long time in my life I finally felt thouroughly loved again. I pulled him into another kiss after a while, hearing him sigh and snuggling even closer.

"I love you Rich", I mumbled in between kisses, feeling him smiling against my lips.

"I love you too, Jonny", came the soft response, making me smile as well.

"So do you wanna be my lover?", I purred into his ear, gently sucking on the lobe and biting softly into the smooth flesh, hearing Richie moan silently.

"Yes Jonny", he whispered, guiding my mouth to his again and taking my lips with a searing kiss.

~~~~

We were meant to be together and we could fight everything that got in our way as long as our souls would remain united. Richie is my soulmate and always will be, and I'll never let him go again.