//JOSH\\

When i pick up Sammi from school, she seems a bit shaken. She is not the normal, bubbly girl that she is after school most days. It concerns me. She doesn't even greet me. "Sam," I breathe out. she doesn't even glance at me. "Sam, whats wrong, sweetheart?" Still, nothing. "Samira Dun, talk to me. Please." I purse my lips into a thin line, and, this time, she shakes her head.

"Don't call me that, Josh," she grumbles. "You know how I feel about my name."

"It seems like its the only way I can get your attention," I whimper, worry clear in my low voice. "What's up?"

"Lacey Turner," she growls. "is whats up." Her eyes water, but she doesn't dare let the the tears fall. She isn't one to give in easily, and seeing her like this completely terrifies me. She never gets upset over little things. This thing isn't little.

"Sam," I sigh. Lacey Turner has been her nemesis ever since middle school. She has always been trying to light Sam's ass on fire just for the show. Wait what? No, not literally. It's a metaphor. 'What did she do this time?" I grumble. Right now, I'm beginning to hate that girl more than Sammi does.

"She is pissed at me, so she told me to call my mom, just to get a rise out of me. She kicked me. She threatened me, Josh." This time, she did let a tear spill from her eyes, and it takes all of the will power I have to keep from tearing my hands off the wheel, and enveloping her in a giant bear hug.

"What did she say, exactly?' I mutter, glancing at her.

"Watch your back, Cosette. I'm gonna be the one kissing that Marius, not you," she recites, and I raise an eyebrow.

"What does she mean?" I ask. I push my hand over hers, gripping it comfortingly, making sure that my Left hand is still on the wheel.

"She's pissed at me because I got the role of Cosette for Les Miserables, and she is my understudy." Sammi gives me a look, and I can't help but smile.

"Well, at least you got the role." I smile, and she rolls her eyes.

"What good is having the role if everyone hates you for it, Josh?" She bites her lip, wiping her eyes. "It isn't fair."

"Besides Lacey, and her little pack, who hates you for getting the role of Cosette? Who has physically confronted you about having this role?" I try to reason with her. She looks up at me with tired eyes. Those poor, sad, tired eyes that make me want to punch whoever made them that way. I hate seeing her like this.

"No one, really," she sighs, pushing her hair behind her eyes.

"Then, no one hates you."

She nods, a ghost of a smile crossing her face for a split second. "Thank you, Josh."

I smile, wide. "My pleasure." I pause. The next question that pops into my mind scares me, because of the conversation we had this morning. "So, who's Marius?"

That's when she does smile, laughing hysterically. "That's the funniest thing, because that's why Lacey is pissed off at me!" She laughs. "For the most part, anyway, because she knows I like him, and so does she."

"Who?" I laugh, an idea bouncing around in my brain, making me grin.

"Connor Paisley." Sammi clasps her hands together. She smiles, widely.

"Wait, that guy that you're afraid to talk to because of how cute he is to you?" I beam. Sammi nods with a grin.

I pull into the driveway, smiling at Sam. I kill the engine and toss the keys up in my hands. She tries to snatch them, but I catch them in mid air. "Too slow."

"You should so let me drive, tomorrow." She raises her eyebrows hopefully. "I have my learners permit."

"We'll see about that, little Missy." I step out of the car, coughing a bit at the cold air that pricks at my pores. "Unusually cold for September."

She throws her head back with a laugh. "Isn't it, though?"

"Yeah."

-------------
//NINA\\
-------------

I press my head against the wall. My nails dig into my wrists as Jenna slowly knocks on my looked bedroom door. I can hear the concern in her voice, because I've been in here for hours, and Tyler isn't having it. He's going crazy. "Nina, please open up."

I bite my lip, screeching as I dig my fingernails deeper into my wrists. I can't open the door. No one is supposed to see me like this. I can't let them. "Go away, Jenna!" I scream. My fingers shake with an unknown emotion. All I know is that I need to be alone right now. I want to be alone.

Leave me alone

Leave me alone

Leave me alone

I can't help but feel like that tiny voice in my head is wrong. I can't help but feel like loneliness is what's driving me insane.

Leave me alone.

"Let me in, Nina. Please." Jenna yells. I can hear Tyler's nervous mutters from the kitchen. "Nina, honey, please."

Don't leave me alone.

I scramble to the door, biting my lip as I practically tear it open. My heart finds its way to my throat, and I let out a terrified scream into Jenna's shirt. I can hear Tyler's feet racing towards us. I can feel Jenna's heartbeat. I can hear a small whimper come from Ty's throat as he wraps his arms around my bony waist. "He's everywhere!" I yelp.

"Nina, I know, but you need to know it's okay. I promise you, I'll always be here."

"No, you won't!" I cry. "One day, you'll be gone and I'll be all alone. Everyone's gonna shove me into the real world. I'm not ready for that! I don't think I will ever be!"

"Nina, I need to talk to you," Tyler whispers, his brown gaze resting on Jenna. She nods and plants a soft kiss on his head and steps out. Tyler stands, picking me up and bringing me back into my room. He gives me a sad look and sighs, "Those aren't scrapes on your arms, and you know it, Nina."

My eyes widen in shock. My heart pounds in my chest as I pull my sleeves down past my bracelets. "Tyler-"

"No, Nina, let me talk." He chokes. I can tell he's trying his best not to cry because of the way his hands shake and the color in his face drains. "Nina, last year... Last year I almost flung myself off of a bridge." He pauses, wiping his eyes. "I know what it's like. I know how it feels to feel like no one is there for you, or to feel like some people care too much. I know how it feels to be hated by everyone including yourself. I know how it feels to try to climb out of a hole that you dug specifically to keep you under. I know what it feels like to want to pop out of existence. I know how it feels, Nina. That's been my entire life." He is crying, now, and I can't help but feel like it's my fault. I forced this out of him, because I didn't tell him. He rolls up his sleeve. "I'm going to do something, Nina. Give me your arm." He pulls up my sleeve and takes off my bracelets. I flinch and almost pull away from him, but I realize it'll do no good to do so. He holds his wrist next to mine, and I stare at the hem of my jeans. "Look at me, Nina."

I look at him, and his gaze falls to our wrists, side by side. "I want them to stay like this forever, okay? I want these to be the only scars that show up on either of our arms. Got that?"

"Yes," I squeak. "I do."

"Promise me, Nina. Like I'm promising you, promise me." Tyler's gaze is desperate. The devastation in his eyes eats away at me like I'm a cake on his birthday. He doesn't take his eyes off of me until I say it.

"I promise you, Tyler."

The door opens and I can see Sammi rush past my room. I hear Josh strike a conversation with Jenna and I shift uncomfortably. Tyler pulls me into a soft embrace. "You're never alone with anything, okay? I know that for a fact."

I nod, my fingers curling around the fabric of his dark blue hoodie. "I love you so much, Tyler."

"I love you, too, Baby Sis."

I chuckle softly and try to pretend that he and I aren't crying. I get this feeling in my chest. A feeling stronger than love. A feeling indescribable, because I am where I am meant to be.

But as I said before, hood things never last.

We are the new Americana

High on legal marijuana

Raised on Biggie and Nirvana

We are the new Americana

--a/n--

Sigh sigh my chapters are getting shorter. Tbh the New Americana music video makes me feelsy. So do a lot of things, tho. Why do my eyes water when I sleep????????

I wanna be a pro singer oops

Whale den

I love you my Carcrashovercastyoungbloods.
-Emily aka foblvr