IZEL

I couldn't help my curiosity, but how could I when the Slayer was as mysterious as he was? 

I eventually decided to stop asking questions though, but I still couldn't believe the situation I was in, that I was going to be fighting side by side with a vampire, the very race that I kill and that kills me. I didn't trust the Slayer and the fact that he wasn't only a vampire but also my enemy always put me on edge. 

I didn't know if I would have his back in battle, or if he would even have mine. This unsureness could lead to me hesitating in a fight, and that hesitation could cost one of us big time. I needed to remember that this was about more than just the Slayer and me. I needed to trust him, no matter how much I despised the idea. There was a bigger goal, a bigger purpose, and we only had one shot at it, at killing the Zas and changing the fate of our kinds, so we had to do it properly. I needed to trust the Slayer, if only just a little bit, and I think I knew just how to do that.

There was a series of drills and exercises that we did back at Lilliville during training. Drills that helped us gain the trust of our partner. Drills I realised I had to do with the Slayer if I wanted to get rid of my constant urge to stab him.

I took a deep breath before telling him about my idea. He was against it almost as much as I was, and I wouldn't have minded if he said no. If he disagreed to do it then at least I could use that as an excuse for when I stabbed him in the middle of the night.

You shouldn't have disagreed. If you hadn't then maybe I would have trusted you enough not to stab you, was what I would say. Oh well.

But to my discontent, he agreed to do it. The idea of doing trust-building exercises with me seemed to pain him almost as much as it pained me. He said he would only do one exercise with me, but it was one too many, and I couldn't back out now. 

I thought of the easiest, most well-known trust exercise of all time. The trust fall. There was a twist to the way we did it though. We fell four times and each time we stood on a higher platform than the last.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," the Slayer sighed, rethinking his life decisions. Well, he wasn't the only one. He had his back toward me and his arms crossed over his chest. I was glad that he at least hated this as much as I did.

"You and I both," I agreed, holding my arms out to catch him. 

The Slayer had refused to untie me completely, but only loosened the knot. I didn't mind though, because I could use my tied hands as an excuse for when—if, I meant—I dropped him.

I was tempted to leave him to fall at least once. This was only the first fall so he was standing on the ground, so it wouldn't hurt him that bad. That would be immature of me though, I came up with the trust exercise so I had to do it properly.

"Did you have to pick one that involved so much contact?"

"Trust exercises almost always require contact," I told him. "This one involved the least."

"You couldn't have—?"

"Just shut up and fall."

After a long groan, he finally fell back and I extended my arms to catch him but my immatureness got the best of me and I stepped to the side, leaving him to fall onto the floor. I burst out laughing. It was much funnier than I thought it would be. 

He sat up and whipped his head in my direction.  "Why am I not surprised?" He asked but his lips threatened to quirk upwards.

"Sorry," I said between laughs, even though I wasn't sorry at all. I would do it again. "I've never made anyone fall during a trust fall but that was just... hilarious." I controlled my breathing as my laughter died down and then cleared my throat, "Now we're even. That's what you get for dropping me in the dirt."

Then I extended my hand out to him to help him up, even though I knew he could get up perfectly fine on his own. He looked at my hand questioningly.

"I don't need—"

"Just take it," I cut him off. "No matter how much this tears my insides apart, we have to get used to helping each other."

He cocked a brow. "What are you going to do? Pull your hand away as soon I lift mine?" He questioned, and despite trying to sound serious I could hear the amusement in his voice. "Then start laughing and say, 'got you.'"

I failed to bite back my laugh, "I won't do that."

He narrowed his eyes at me but finally raised his hand and clasped it around mine. I suddenly realised something. It was warm. His hand was warm. I had never met a vampire with warm hands before, and come to think of it, his hands were warm even when he had placed them on my cheeks, trying to get me to focus on him after my nightmare. 

"Why is your hand so warm?" I questioned him. "I thought all vampires were cold to the core."

Any form of contact with a vampire sent chills down my spine because of how cold they were, but he was warm so I wondered where the shivers running down my spine were coming from.

"...Not all of them," he replied, "but why are your hands so cold?"

"My hands are always cold."

"Well, then mine are always warm."

"That's weird. It's not normal for vampires to be warm."

"Not every vampire is the same, Izzy," he told me. "Now are you going to pull me up or keep holding my hand?"

Oh. 

I pulled him up and we got back to business. He did his falls and I actually caught him, all four times. From the floor to the stool, to the chair, to the table. I almost lost my balance when he fell from the table because of how heavy he was, but I was relieved that I didn't have to catch him anymore. Not when every time I caught him I could feel the curves of his muscles and the strength of his body.

It was my turn after him, and it took me an extraordinarily long time to fall. It was obvious who had the worst trust issues between the two of us. I was convinced he would drop me like I had dropped him, but to my surprise, he didn't. He caught me when I eventually fell back from the floor, then from the stool, and then from the chair. And each time I involuntarily registered how solid his chest was and strong his arms were. 

Maybe this wasn't the wisest drill to do.

"Are you sure you'll catch me?" I asked as I looked down at him warily from the table. 

"Only one way to find out," he replied with a grin that didn't make me any more confident to fall. "I fell from the table and you caught me," he reminded me, "so you're just going to have to trust that I'll catch you too."

"And if you don't?"

He didn't answer but only winked. He winked at me. And something about that wink made my pulse pound. I told myself it was the nerves. I had already fallen from a window, and sure, a window couldn't be compared to a table, but it would still hurt. 

I took a deep breath before turning around and holding my tied hands across my chest. This would have been easier if he dropped me the first time, that way I could be relatively sure he wouldn't drop me again.

"How long are you just going to stand up there?" he asked when I didn't fall.

"I'm thinking," I replied.

"About what?"

"...Stuff."

"Can you think faster then?"

I sighed, but didn't face him as I said, "It's not easy to fall from a table and trust to be caught, especially not by someone who's thrown me out of a window and—"

My words were cut off when the Slayer suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me. I spun around in the process and felt myself falling from the table, but he caught me. In a kind of embrace, considering I basically fell forward rather than backward. 

My tied hands were against his chest, the only separation between our bodies. There was a faint earthy scent emanating from him and I couldn't help but note that he smelt pleasant for a vampire. I could feel every breath he took against my palms, and I could feel the outline of his pectoral muscles. My fingers twitched and I suddenly felt inclined to slide my hands down, to feel the outline of his muscles and—

I quickly pushed back, stumbling. 

What. Was. That.

My heart pounded too fast and my breathing was erratic. I cleared my throat in a futile effort to calm myself and looked at him again, hoping to force impassiveness.

Bad idea.

As soon his hazel eyes made contact with mine my heart stopped only to start beating ten times faster. I looked away and I could've sworn he looked away at the same time as me. 

Why I felt like this, I didn't know. Did I want to know? No. All I wanted to do right now was calm down. Calm down.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I felt myself calming down, but I didn't dare look up again. Why did I feel what I was feeling? I had never felt like this before. 

It was probably because I had been too close to him. To a vampire. I had never been that close to a vampire I wasn't planning on killing before, so that must have been why. My body probably had some fight or flight reflex, but because I couldn't fight him, this was my body's way of getting me to flight. Yes. That was it. That was why my heart was thundering and my breathing was irregular. That was the only explanation. 

But that didn't explain why I wanted to run my hands down his front. I shook my head, too traumatised by the thought to try and figure out the reason.

I cleared my throat again. "The point of the exercise was to fall backwards, not forwards."

"You were taking forever to fall," he said, his voice low. "And I still caught you, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but—"

"I'm not doing another exercise," he cut me off, clearing his throat to get rid of the hoarseness. "I have to go," he suddenly said then made his way to the door and left without so much as an explanation.

Well, that didn't end the way I thought it would have. I thought I would have at least gained a little trust in him, but in the end, I didn't. I don't know what I gained. My stomach churned at the thought of how close I had been to a vampire.

I slumped down on the chair I had been sitting on before and silently cursed myself for even suggesting we do trust drills, for thinking that I could come to trust a vampire. It was pointless, and yet I couldn't help but realise that he had trusted me all four times even though I dropped him the first time, and I had trusted him to catch me too.

Maybe the exercise wasn't as futile as I thought, because, for the first time, I found myself not wanting to kill the Slayer.