
Chapter 5: The Infirmary
Wen Qing stepped out of the room, only a little concerned that she might have shared too much with Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian had only ever told her that he and Lan Wangji were friends. She wasn't sure if he was deliberately trying to maintain distance between the two of them, or if he was ignorant to his own feelings. Wen Qing was well aware that he could be deceptively dense at times. It also would be just like him to try and push someone away to protect them. She had seen something similar when Wei Wuxian had told Jiang Wanyin to tell everyone he defected from the YunmengJiang Sect. From what Wen Qing had been able to glean of Lan Wangji's personality, he didn't seem like the type to abandon a loved one for his own safety. So it would make sense that Wei Wuxian may have been deliberately keeping some distance in their relationship. Wei Wuxian probably wanted to spare Lan Wangji from becoming a target because of his proximity to Wei Wuxian.
Wen Qing personally felt this was a pretty stupid reason. It robbed the other person the ability to choose for themselves. She doubted Lan Wangji would be happy with having that decision made for him. If she hadn't been certain at Koi Tower, then seeing Lan Wangji now was all the evidence she needed. Hanguang-Jun cared deeply for Wei Wuxian. As such, he deserved to know Wei Wuxian's feelings and to choose for himself whether or not to stand by his loved one. She also personally wanted Lan Wangji to have that choice. She was pretty confident of what his decision would be. She believed he would choose to stay by Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian really needed someone to choose him for a change.
This is probably the real reason why she had an urge to disclose things to Lan Wangji that she would not have disclosed to anyone else. This was also the reason that she could not let go of her personal resentment towards Jiang Wanyin. Wen Qing did realize it was unfair to say that Jiang Wanyin had agreed to have Wei Wuxian defect just to save his own skin. He was a sect leader after all. More importantly, the YunmengJiang Sect had only recently been rebuilt from scratch. That they had risen to such heights so quickly was impressive, but their position was by no means stable. Wen Qing understood this logically.
It didn't even bother her that Jaign Wanyin didn't offer aid to the surviving members of her branch of the family. She knew her branch of the family was exclusively healers and no one had participated in any battles or killings. Still she understood why Jiang Wanyin would not assist them. He was protecting his sect and his family. She had assisted very little those opposing Wen Rouhan for similar reasons. If she were caught her family would die. Yet this argument was also what made her blood boil when she thought of Jiang Wanyin's actions.
Wasn't Wei Wuxian also his family? Didn't they always say that they were siblings in all but name? Wei Wuxian was not formally adopted by the Jiang Clan. Wen Qing was well aware of this, but she had been under the impression that that was mostly because of Yu Ziyuan. Practically the entire cultivation world knew Yu Ziyuan didn't like Wei Wuxian. Yet Wei Wuxian had been otherwise treated and presented like he was a member of their family. Her understanding was that Jiang Fengmian treated him like a son, and both Jiang Wanyin and Jiang Yanli treated him like a sibling. She knew Wei Wuxian treated them like family. She knew all too well what he was willing to sacrifice for them.
Which is why she could not help but be angry that Jiang Wanyin had agreed to announce Wei Wuxian defected. Even if he was doing it to protect the YunmengJiang Sect, she couldn't help but feel like he was sacrificing his own brother to do so. Wen Qing really had a hard time forgiving that. It was only made worse by the fact that she was privy to the knowledge of just how much Wei Wuxian would sacrifice for Jiang Wanyin. She took a deep breath, trying to not be too noticeable about it. For Wei Wuxian she would do her best to treat Jiang Wanyin with courtesy.
If she happened to be a bit intolerant of Jiang Wanyin... 'Well, that's just me protecting A-Ying like I should as his Jie.'
Wen Qing looked up at the three people she had previously ushered out of Wei Wuxian's room. She had been concerned they might do something unfortunate while Lan Wangji was still trying to soothe Wei Wuxian. She knew from experience that even if he cared about someone and trusted them it didn't mean he would unconsciously recognize them as safe. There was every possibility that if someone besides Lan Wangji or her tried to touch him he might have reacted to defend himself again. Honestly encouraging Lan Wangji to soothe him had been a guess on her part.
'In the past it was usually A-Ning, A-Yuan, or me who would wake A-Ying from his nightmares.' Granny had also done so from time to time. Everyone else in Burial Mounds understood that if Wei Wuxian was having a nightmare or a flashback they should give him space. In those cases it was better to let him calm down on his own if they could not immediately find one of the people who could approach him.
Encouraging Lan Wangji to soothe Wei Wuxian had been a small gamble, but she was glad she trusted her instinct. It had been more than worth it given the speed at which the resentful energy had dispersed. The rate at which the energy withdrew and the speed at which Wei Wuxian calmed were both faster then she had expected. To her this was further evidence of what she had already guessed about Wei Wuxian's feelings regarding Lan Wangji. She made a note to make sure there was more progress in their communication this time around. Even if she needed to drag Wei Wuxian by the ear and translate his idiocy. They still had time before the war would begin. Enough time for her to make sure at least one more person would look out for her self sacrificing didi.
By now all three people waiting for her were staring with various expressions of concern. Jiang Wanyin had only just stopped pacing back and forth. Jiang Yanli had been doing her best to try and keep him calm. A feat that Wen Qing was certain wasn't easy. It was clear that Jiang Yanli was devastated herself. Still she was directing all her energy into calming her didi. Wen Qing had never had the opportunity to interact with Jiang Yanli much. What Wen Qing knew of her was mostly from Wei Wuxian. She wondered if Jiang Yanli knew how much the two boys adored her. Wen Qing smiled lightly. Neither Wei Wuxian nor Jiang Wanyin made much of a secret of it. Lan Xichen was standing more calmly, but his gaze was both worried and unsettled.
"He's sleeping calmly." Wen Qing announced to the room. "You can come back in as long as you don't disturb him. He needs the rest," Wen Qing added the last sentence quietly. Wen Qing didn't wait for any responses as she knew all three would be entering immediately. She resisted the urge to caution, or perhaps threaten, Jiang Wanyin. She has already removed him from Wei Wuxian's room once. If she needed to she could certainly do it a second time. She knew she was still angry with the future leader of the YunmengJiang sect. She also knew that it was probably unfair. At minimum Wei Wuxian wouldn't like her doing it. Still she couldn't really let go of it just yet. Wei Wuxian was entirely too prone to allowing others to trample over him. Until Wei Wuxian started standing up for himself, she wasn't about to start backing off..
They entered the room to the sight of Wei Wuxian curled in Lan Wangji's lap like a kitten. Lan Wangji was holding him gently, allowing Wei Wuxian to lean against him. Wen Qing barely suppressed a soft smile. It was so nice to see Wei Wuxian so peaceful. For the two or so years she had lived with Wei Wuxian in the Burial Mounds it was rare to see him sleep peacefully. He was plagued by horrible nightmares. The only times she had managed to see him sleep peacefully was when he occasionally napped with A-Yuan. She had actually suggested having A-Yuan share a bed with Wei Wuxian at night, but Wei Wuxian had quickly turned it down. He was too worried about accidentally hurting A-Yuan if he had a nightmare.
Wen Qing moved her eyes away from the sleeping figure just as Lan Xichen softly closed the door. There was a brief flicker of surprise and happiness when he first saw Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Wen Qing was glad to see it. Any indication of support directed towards Wei Wuxian was valuable. She'd never stop him from trying to protect others. So the next logical course of action was to try and make sure more people would be protective of him. Preferably with a bit more conviction than she'd seen before her death.
It did not take long for Lan Xichen's face to return to deep set concern. It seemed like he was thinking too hard about something. It made her a bit uncomfortable because she remembered all too well how people reacted to Wei Wuxian's demonic cultivation. She was pretty sure it would only take a small bit of prodding for Lan Wangji to unwaveringly support Wei Wuxian. If he wasn't already at that point. He might have been given how intently he was watching Wei Wuxian sleep. She wasn't entirely certain about Lan Xichen. She knew he cared about Lan Wangji, but that hadn't been enough at Koi Tower. She wasn't ready to believe it was enough now.
As Wen Qing turned to take in the Jiang Siblings reactions her eyes fell on Jiang Wanyin. His face was twisted into an unhappy scowl as he stared at Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Wen Qing pushed down the urge to stand in between them. It reminded her of when Jiang Wanyin came to Burial Mounds. The entire time he had been scowling in a similar manner. She had been extremely wary of his intentions when he wanted to see Wen Qionglin. She had physically stood in the way to try and shield her didi. She only relented under Wei Wuxian's assurances of Wen Qionglin's safety. He had lived up to his promises too. Even against Jiang Wanyin he protected Wen Qionglin. He refused to allow any harm to come to their family on the Burial Mounds. That was the same visit during which he basically told Jiang Wanyin to abandon him.
"How is he?" Jiang Yanli asked softly. Wen Qing was grateful to have been pulled from her thoughts. She kept her expression gentle while she considered Wei Wuxian's Shijie. Wen Qing honestly wasn't entirely certain how to feel about her. She didn't blame her the same way she blamed Jiang Wanyin. Wei Wuxian had nothing but fondness and respect for Jiang Yanli. Wen Qing wondered sometimes what Jiang Yanli had thought about everything that happened. She was rarely involved in important meetings and was usually kept out of political discourse. Wen Qing's impression was mostly that of someone timid and soft spoken. Perhaps she was a bit like Wen Qionglin? Too timid for the bloodbath that was sect politics.
"Physically he'll be fine. The caning he received this morning was worse than the scrapes he received," Wen Qing said softly. At minimum her affection and concern for Wei Wuxian seemed genuine.
"Has he been harmed by the resentful energy?" Lan Xichen asked.
Wen Qing resisted the urge to frown. They were now back into her least favorite topic to discuss with these people. She could have talked all day about strategies for supporting someone who had been traumatized. She could have discussed suicidality. Strategies for helping to maintain safety, though she thought probably they wouldn't need to worry about this as much as the situation would suggest. At minimum Wen Qing was pretty confident Wei Wuxian would decide to stay alive until the war ended. She didn't know the circumstances that brought him back in time. She didn't know if it was at the same time as her, or if perhaps he lived a bit longer. She suspected he had probably been disoriented and vulnerable when he returned. Otherwise she doubted his desire to protect others would have allowed him to kill himself before the war. It had been no secret that he was the only reason Wen Rouhan's armies were defeated. One Wei Wuxian was like having thousands of soldiers. No changes could make up for his absence in the Sunshot Campaign.
Wen Qing would have loved to believe that she could persuade him to stay alive for his own sake, but she wasn't that naive. He carried an immense amount of misplaced guilt. His heart was badly wounded, and most of the damage had nothing to do with resentful energy. Wei Wuxian rarely defended himself. It would be Wen Qing's job to set the tone to try and make those present be willing to consider that his demonic cultivation was not some evil cancer. Wen Qing turned to Lan Xichen calmly.
"There is resentful energy in his body. However it is not behaving the way I would expect it to." Wen Qing felt no guilt over the small lie. Truth be told it was behaving exactly how she expected it to in Wei Wuxian. However the way it behaved in him was different than in other cultivators. While she had been unsure how having his golden core might effect things. Her concerns had so far been unfounded. When she examined him the resentful energy seemed to be operating much the same way as it had before.
"Typically if a cultivator is exposed to resentful energy it behaves..." Wen Qing sought for the right description. "I suppose chaotically would be the correct word. It damages the spiritual pathways in the body. It contaminates the golden core. However, none of that is happening. There are no abnormalities in his golden core. His spiritual energy is circulating normally. For lack of a better word the resentful energy in his body is passive."
"How did it get there?!" Jiang Wanyin demanded. Wen Qing took a steadying breath before she slowly directed her gaze towards him. It seemed he finally couldn't hold himself back anymore. Wen Qing spent some effort keeping her expression calm and neutral.
'A-Ying loves him. A-Ying wouldn't blame him.' Wen Qing attempted to talk herself down in her head. She was all too aware of her rising temper when Jiang Wanyin used that tone.
"I can't answer that question. I can only tell you what I know as a doctor through my studies and my examination. There are countless ways a cultivator can be exposed to resentful energy. Further, he is the only person that I have seen in which it behaved passively." Wen Qing said in a calm, matter of fact, tone. Jiang Wanyin seemed to vibrate with frustration.
"Then wake him up and he can tell us himself!" The Jiang heir took a step forward. Wen Qing immediately stepped between him and Wei Wuxian. Her eyes narrowed slightly. She hoped it just looked like disapproval.
"My patient needs rest. Your questions aren't going anywhere." Wen Qing said in a firm tone. It was very hard not to scold Jiang Wanyin. She badly wanted to remind him to mind his manners while carefully examining her acupuncture needles. She began talking herself down. If she didn't, she might actually take them out.
'A-Ying loves him. This is supposedly how he expresses concern.' she repeated silently.
'A-Ying is too kind for his own good.' Her brain replied automatically. She resisted the urge to frown.
'A-Ying always says his temper is how he shows that he cares.' She continued to try and calm herself down.
'That's a crap way to show someone you care.' Her automatic thoughts were not helping her stay patient.
"For all we know the resentful energy is what drove him to try and kill himself!" Jiang Wanyin shouted in her face. Wen Qing felt her blood run cold as a fine rage slowly spread through her body. Her will to calm herself down withered beneath the weight of her rising anger.
'Don't you fucking dare Jiang Wanyin. Don't you dare blame it all on him and the use of resentful energy. Don't you dare act like he brought this on himself.' Wen Qing felt a protective rage filling her body. Her fingers itched with the desire to slap the Jiang heir. She took a deep breath before she responded to him.
"That would be rather convenient for you." She spoke in a low frigid tone. Jiang Wanyin's face scrunched up in confusion mixed with anger.
"The hell do you mean?!" he demanded. Wen Qing leveled a chilling gaze at him that momentarily pinned him in place. She would not tolerate him doing this. Wei Wuxian might want to spare him any guilt and inconvenience. Wen Qing did not share the sentiment.
"If you can blame it on the resentful energy in his body you can absolve yourself. It would mean there wasn't anything to notice earlier. It would mean it had nothing to do with things that might have happened before. It would mean it had nothing to do with anything you did. It would mean there was nothing that needs to change in the future. Everything can just continue as is." Wen Qing's voice was cold and sharp.
'You hurt my didi. He loves you, and he lets you hurt him.' The only reason she was not ripping him apart with her words was purely because it would hurt Wei Wuxian. Jiang Wanyin looked wounded and off balance. It gave her a small measure of satisfaction to see that she had unsettled him in such a way.
"Resentful energy has been known to affect someone's temperament. It's not unreasonable that it might have played a role," Lan Xichen offered, attempting to diffuse the situation. Wen Qing tried to take her disappointment in stride. Lan Xichen had always come across to her as a very polite and respectful person. She knew him mostly from her stay at Cloud Recesses, and a few events that Wen Rouhan had insisted she attend. Lan Xichen often had excellent suggestions. Unfortunately he seemed to be extremely uncomfortable with confrontation. When there was a dispute he was the first one to suggest a compromise. The suggestions he made were often reasonable and intelligent. He often suggested caution, thorough investigation of the facts, and leniency. He advised against drastic or hasty actions. All great things. However, unless a more outspoken sect leader jumped on board right away, they often never became more than suggestions. He'd very politely and gently offer his opinion, or try to persuade someone. However, he had no tolerance to continue the discussion when others expressed their displeasure with what he had to say.
Koi Tower was a very clear example of this behavior. Jin Guangshan wanted a brutal execution. No questions asked. No investigation into the events. Lan Xichen spoke up, but his soft words quickly became silent under the shouts for blood. Wen Qing remembered her death all too clearly. She couldn't see beyond the smoke too well. She remembered Lan Xichen's expression. A look of pity and perhaps disappointment. She remembered seeing arms holding Lan Wangji back. She couldn't see his expression too clearly, but if someone had to restrain him then she imagined it might have been something akin to outrage. An image came unbidden to the forefront of her memory. Wen Qionglin's expression as they made him watch her execution. She was grateful he had not awoken with the memories of that future. She didn't want to know what that memory would do to him.
Wen Qing took a quiet slow breath to calm herself. If they blamed Wei Wuxian's behavior on the resentful energy things would only get worse. She had known her task would not be easy. That was no reason to stop half way. She was the most accomplished doctor of her generation. Her skills were so well known that Wen Rouhan had her attend banquets just so he could show her off. She dared say there was no doctor among the clans who could exceed her abilities. This reputation had a weight of authority to it. Even if she was a Wen, and therefore many would not trust her, her skills were still respected. They had to consider her words when it came to a patient in her care.
"I strongly advise against making that assumption." Wen Qing said flatly once she gather her thoughts. "First, what I have observed doesn't support it." Wen Qing immediately continued when she saw Jiang Wanyin begin to open his mouth. Whether coming from a place of caring or not, nothing he was about to say would be helpful. "The resentful energy is currently passive in his body. It isn't doing anything. More importantly the circumstances in which it manifested are consistent with behavior I might see in someone with a history of trauma." She made sure her voice was confident and steady. She needed to make sure she sounded absolutely certain, or she would have no chance of convincing them. Lan Xichen's eyes widened slightly in response to her words. Everyone she was speaking to was living in a world where no one had successfully mastered demonic cultivation. Of course they would be surprised. Surprised was better than accusatory. Surprised was easier to work with.
"What garbage is that?! What trauma?!" Jiang Wanyin's voice demanded in an angry accusatory tone. It grated on Wen Qing and her fingers itched with the urge to knock him unconscious. She was grateful Wei Wuxian was a heavy sleeper. If Jiang Wanyin woke Wei Wuxian with his shouting, nothing would stop her from striking the Jiang heir. Wen Qing turned her gaze to Jaing Wanyin filled with her barely suppressed anger.
"He was asleep and an unknown person touched him. Immediately resentful energy manifested and lashed out at the perceived attacker. It very much follows the pattern of a defensive reaction that I might see in someone with a history of trauma." Her gaze was fixed on Jiang Wanyin as she spoke. "Afterwards the energy did not attack anyone else. When Lan Wangji calmed him the energy disappeared entirely." Jiang Wanyin's expression darkened at the reminder, something akin to shame or hurt.
'Good. Accept it and do better.' Wen Qing thought as she recognized the emotions. She took another steadying breath before she continued.
"Of course those are purely my observations from today, and are not the most important reason for my advice." Wen Qing kept her tone light as she said this. She didn't immediately follow up with the explanation. She wanted them to ask for it. She wanted to make sure they heard what she said next. Jiang Wanyin took a step forward and seemed about to say something until an arm was placed in front of him. Jiang Yanli held her brother back with a slightly trembling hand. Her red rimmed eyes and tear streaked face was a testament to her devastation. Still she was holding herself with a calm dignity as she looked at Wen Qing.
"Please explain further." Jiang Yanli's voice was almost steady when she spoke. Wen Qing was quite impressed at how well she was holding herself together given the situation. Wen Qing was tempted to change what she was going to say. She didn't mind being a bit brutal to the two men standing in front of her. She felt like they almost needed. She wasn't sure what else could make them rethink their approach to Wei Wuxian. Wen Qing felt both needed a bit of a slap in the face to knock them out of the behaviors they had become all too comfortable with. Lan Xichen, always trying to avoid confrontation. Which really just meant the louder voices in the room made the decisions and walked over him. Jiang Wanyin, always lashing out at Wei Wuxian because he didn't know how to regulate his own emotions. His anger and insecurities were hurled viciously at Wei Wuxian and every time Wei Wuxian managed it for him. Every time Wei Wuxian was the one who helped him.
'Letting him do that was one of your mistakes A-Ying. He has to learn to manage his own emotions. If you never tell him that what he is doing is not okay, how is he supposed to figure it out?' Wen Qing thought to herself. Wen Qing really considered softening her language for Jiang Yanli's sake. Wei Wuxian had always been incredibly fond of her. On the other hand, there was something steady and determined in the way Jiang Yanli was holding herself. Wen Qing's impression of her had always been that of someone rather meek and timid. She may need to reevaluate that. Wen Qing resolved herself to not soften it as she had been considering. Wei Wuxian had hidden his pains and struggles too long and too well. His family needed to know what was really happening behind that smile. Otherwise they had no chance of doing right by him this time.
"If you blame all his negative thoughts and feelings on the resentful energy, your brother is going to die." Wen Qing said flatly. "If you make that assumption, what he will hear is that it is all his own fault. You need to let him tell you what the problems are. If you can't even listen to that, how can you expect him to trust you with anything?" Wen Qing carefully observed her audience. It seemed she'd finally managed to silence Jiang Wanyin. He looked upset and lost. It didn't seem like he was going to be shouting again too soon. Lan Xichen seemed to have paled a bit. Apparently bluntly outlining the consequences had quite the impact. Meanwhile Jiang Yanli began guiding Jiang Wanyin to sit with her. Jiang Wanyin looked like a small child as Jiang Yanli held him. Her eyes were red and tears were falling down her face. Yet Jiang Yanli's gaze looked determined. Wen Qing almost smiled. She wasn't sure she'd ever had the chance to see that expression from the oldest Jiang sibling before. Something about that expression made Wen Qing feel like Jiang Yanli might be a bit tougher than she had given her credit for.
Wen Qing glanced back at Wei Wuxian to ensure he was still sleeping. She only just realized that at some point during this conversation she had forgotten Lan Wangji was present. The look in his eyes was so raw and wounded that Wen Qing actually regretted her blunt words. She should have kept everyone outside the room and talked to them there. Lan Wangji was plenty concerned and determined already. Wen Qing couldn't help but feel like she had unnecessarily hurt Lan Wangji. Still there wasn't anything she could think of to do about it. She watched as Lan Wangji held Wei Wuxian a little closer to himself. Leaving him to hold Wei Wuxian was probably the best she could do right now. With another calming breath she turned back to the other three in the room.
"Let him sleep however long he can. At no point should he be left in this room alone. I'll be back later to check on him again." Wen Qing said quietly. Without another word she excused herself from the room. She closed the door behind her softly before taking a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh. The conversation had been taxing and her emotions were unsettled. This was probably not the last time she would have a conversation like this one. Not to mention she had not even had the opportunity to speak with Wei Wuxian yet. She didn't know for certain what his mental state would be. She didn't know how much time had passed for him between her death and his arrival here. The most concerning question being, had things gotten worse? She supposed that actually wasn't the question. The real question was, how much worse had it gotten. Wen Qing took steady breaths to hold back the tears threatening to fall.
'A-Ying... I wish we could just focus on taking care of you. You've already endured so much. The war is coming and I know you'll want to try to save the people we've lost. Can you really live through this again?'
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