The distant thud of galloping wild horses fills my brain till it overflows into utter chaos

I could scream, laugh, cry, and shiver all at once.

Again my mind drifts to you, then to her...back to you, and them, and him.

Then the lights come on, it brings me a bit closer to reality.

And I realise how isolated, quiet, lonely, seething, and crazy my world is.

I just think, it would be so much easier to have someone to tell everything.

But of course, there's a catch.

There is always a catch.

And I would still be hiding something from them, because I would feel like a burden...not unusual.

I can't help but ask myself, am I capable of loving someone, to my full potential?

Is there even anyone that can do that...?

If course there is. They were lucky.

Unless of course, it just took them longer to work it out - that love is a lie.

I'm not saying it is, but it could be.

At 18 years old I genuinely don't believe that anybody could love me, to their full potential. There is always something that ruins it.

Because not all personalities are the same or can "match".

Because there will always be a clash, somewhere.