I've been thinking...

A lot...about this. It just never crossed my processor to ever say it to anyone but Rung.

As everyone knows I'm Whirl, a "psychopath" as everyone best knows me.

I've never actually fallen in love before. Not even before the wreckers. To me it was never about finding a Sparkmate. But to find a buddy or a friend to spend those nights of drinking till you pass out. That was my definition of sparkmate....well at least it was till I met Death and Solar...

Then everything grew complicated and I sparked one of them and broke the other's spark. Not literally for once.

It's not that I hate my kid or don't want to be a sire...its that I don't want to have to care. I've never had to care about anything other then not getting in jail...

I don't need to be careful when I have a Sparkmate of some sort...

So....

I'm done looking for a Sparkmate.

There's really no hope for me becoming more sane and loving someone.

Yet they kept sane...the longer I stayed with them.

If they read this now my hope is that I don't hurt them anymore then I have..

Ive had talks with Rung about this..

Even he doesn't know how to help me in this situation. All he says is to follow my spark and do what's right.

So that's what I'm doing....

I'm protecting Death and Solar by leaving them. By saying goodbye.