When you fall in love, you get that inexplicable electric rush that shocks your senses to life. Your heart races, your stomach churns with butterflies- dragons even- your smile is bigger, you laugh just that little bit louder, you feel lighter and everything looks brighter. Better. Fresher. Newer.

The world seems different.

You seem different.

Positivity seeps from every pore and your glass spills over it’s so full.

Sometimes it happens so fast and suddenly that it makes you spin, trips you up. It creeps up on you, catches you off guard. Without warning. Without a sound. It happens when you least expect it, and sometimes, with the people you least expect.

It happens after a single conversation, a small simple smile, a look or a shared laugh. It’s a magical moment that cannot be explained, or quantified, or tagged and bagged and filled in a drawer under a heading. It’s mysterious, it’s marvelous, and it has to be more than just a chemical reaction. Surely? It’s bigger, much, much bigger than neurons firing, or dopamine pulsing. It’s epic, immeasurable and has a magical quality to it.

Certainly Chris didn’t really believe that?

After the hug ended, I’d been left with millions of questions. I didn’t know what it was about him, I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I was feeling such strong feelings for him. And they seemed to grow with each passing moment. The more time I spent with him, the more things I like about him.

It’s like buying that LBD (little black dress that every woman should have) it’s so simple and plain that at first there’s nothing to really like about it, other than its very practical applications. But the more you wear it and realize how comfortable it is, the more you discover exciting ways to accessories and dress it up- the more you like it and wear it. Until you have to buy another one because it’s so worn that the black is starting to look gray.

Chris was like that little black dress…a dress which I was dying to slip on.

We finally got back to the resort at about 5:00 that evening after enjoying a seafood barbeque on a small island and then spending some time exploring it. The evenings always look so beautiful; the light appears tinged with an incandescent pink, making the green of the plants pop even more and turning the water into a subtle rose color. In the delicate pink glow, Chris’ eyes looked even bluer. A little darker, deeper and dreamier.

 “Do you want to go for a swim in the pool, now that the sun’s not too bad?” Chris asked.

My skin felt sticky and salty from the sea and slimy from the sun cream- I could definitely do with a rinse off in the pool.

“Sounds good.” We made our way to the pool, picking up cooldrinks from the bar as we went. The pool was impressive- although by now I wouldn't have expected anything less from this place. It was a rather large infinity pool that looked out over the beach, it was surrounded by tables, chairs and comfortable loungers, we spotted two free ones and headed over. 

I sat for a while taking in the beauty of my surroundings and reflecting on the day I’d had with Chris, when suddenly, I could almost feel the change of pace. It was as if someone had flicked a switch and everything was now moving in slow motion. And then another flick of a switch, as slow, sultry music filled the air. I turned to see Tess emerge from the pool.

 She looked like she was climbing out in slow motion and to the imaginary beats of the sultry exotic song. Her tanned, toned body squeezed into a white bikini, her long wet black hair clinging to her. She lowered her head and flicked it back, her black locks flying through the air, again, in slow motion. She shook her head and her boobs shook and wobbled in the tiny bikini top. She reached up and ran her fingers through her hair. I looked at the reactions of the other pool -goers. Men were scraping their jaws off the floor. Wives looked seriously pissed off and even the birds on the grass looked like they'd stopped eating and turned to watch. Trev was glowing and smiling with a sense of pride and ownership. The kind you might have if you drove around in a new red Lamborghini.

Tess waved at him, blew him a kiss and then winked seductively. I swear every man in a 5 -mile radius got an involuntary hard on. She picked up a towel, the little tart then bent over to dry her legs, causing her boobs to squish together and her bum to protrude. (Make that a ten- mile radius)

I looked back at Chris, expecting him to be drooling, but he wasn’t. He was glaring at her over his glasses with amusement. I was glad he wasn't gawking. 

“Have you ever?” He said.

“Ever what?”

“She’s a manipulative cock-tease that one…. If Trev thinks she’s going to remain the devoted faithful wife, then he’s got another thing coming…’

“Really?” The thought of Tess cheating on Trev made me giddy with happiness- a dose of his own medicine would be great.

“Oh yes, I’ve seen her type before. I understand them.” Chris slipped his glasses back on and turned away from the strip show.

‘Explain?’

“She’s the kind of woman that uses her sexuality to get what she wants, but if you had to strip it all away, she’s probably deeply insecure and actually thinks that her looks are all that people respond to. Her biggest fear is probably loosing her looks- because then she would just have to be herself. She would be ordinary.”

“Jeez, Mr. Psychologist! Where the hell did that come from?”

Chris shrugged nonchalantly, “I’m a writer, it’s my job to know people. Know what makes them tick. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to write about them.”

“So you’re telling me that you can read people, just like that?”

“Yup. Just by looking at them.”

“Impossible,” I said.

“Choose someone.” Chris said pulling his glasses down again and staring at me with an I dare you look

“Okay.” I looked around the pool, “That one.” I pointed at a large muscular man sitting across the pool.

‘Right,” Chris leaned in conspiratorially, “See that tattoo on his arm. That’s a military tat. Probably special forces, black ops. Guys like that don’t ever leave their jobs, it’s a job for life, so my guess it that he is here undercover. Probably something to do with drug trafficking, the port in Mauritius is notorious as a drug shipping spot.”

“NO….” I was shocked. “Really?”

Chris burst out laughing, “No not really Annie. I made that crap up.”

I turned and slapped him on the arm as he continued to laugh.

“So that stuff you said about Tess was also made up?”

“No. That was real. I’m not John Edwards, I need to have interacted with a person before I can figure out what makes them tick.”

“So what makes me tick then?”

Chris stopped laughing and turned to face me, which caught me off guard. “You Annie, are a very troubling case.”

“Why troubling?”

He looked at me seriously for a moment, as if deciding whether or not he should actually say it.

“What? That looks serious.”

“It is serious Annie.”

Suddenly I felt nervous, “Do I really want to know?”

Chris shrugged, “I don’t know. But you should.”

I took a deep breath and readied myself for what he was about to say. Had I really just declared open season on him giving me a character analysis? He was so unpredictable that I wasn’t sure what he was going to say? “Okay, on one condition. I get to tell you what I think of you too afterwards.”

“Deal” Chris extended his hand and we shook on it.

“I think this thing with Trev and Tess has caused you to lose a lot of confidence. In fact, I would hazard a guess that you were probably quite a different person before it happened. Bubbly, happy, confident, self-assured. I think that’s gone away now, also since losing your job. BUT… here’s the thing Annie. You have nothing to feel insecure about. Nothing. You’re smart, funny, gorgeous and you’re obviously a very talented designer.”

“How do you know that?”

He pointed at my bag, “That’s a pretty interesting unique piece if you ask me.” 

“Trev cheating had nothing to do with you being inadequate, in any way, in fact, I’m pretty sure you’re an awesome lay…”

“What? Did you actually just call me an awesome lay?” If it were anyone else saying it I would have been highly offended, it was after all, a completely inappropriate thing to say. But for some reason, Chris could get away with saying things like that. “And how would you know that?” I asked.

“Because you’re a very sexy woman. You exude sexual energy”

I blushed. Why was it that all our conversations seemed to inevitably lead to the topic of sex?

“Not like her though. Little Miss Sex on a stick.” I pointed at Tess who was still entertaining the masses with the slow motion toweling of her hair.

“Being sexy is also about maintaining a bit of mystery. That….” Chris pointed as Tess who was bending down again, “There’s no mystery there.”

I looked over at Tess and her bikini bottom had slipped a little, exposing a large chunk of her pert bum.

“I would chose you over her any day of the week,” Chris reached out and grabbed me by the arm, tugging it to get my attention. I turned to face him, “Seriously Annie, time to get your confidence back!”

How was it that Chris just seemed to get me? I’d heard all this before from my sister, but to hear it from him, it was just extra confirmation.

“Your turn Annie. And please, be gentle.”

“Okay… I don’t think you really don’t believe in love. I think it’s all just a defense.”

“You wouldn’t be the first person to say that. So why do you think that?” 

“Well, when you were younger and you were—“ It felt hurtful saying the words.

“Fat. Chubby. Chunky.” Chris said it nonchalantly, but I could tell there was real pain in his voice.

“Yes.  Girls didn’t like you for who you were. They only started getting interested when you were someone else, successful and goodlooking- so of course you don’t believe in love. In your experience, love is conditional; to the way you look. So how can it be real?”

Chris nodded for a while, “Interesting observation.”

“I think you don’t let yourself fall in love, because you think you will just get hurt. Abandoned for being the 'fat kid'.”

Chris was silent for a while, I could tell he was thinking, I could tell my words had struck a cord with him. 

“Perhaps.” He said, “Or maybe I just haven’t met the right girl yet? And maybe when I do, I will eat my words and have to admit that I was wrong?” And then he looked up at me and my heart skipped a beat. A giant beat. What was he trying to say?

"Annie..." Chris spoke softly and it gave me a queasy feeling in my stomach. 

"Yes..."

 But before we could carry on, TSquared were right beside us. 

Fuck! They were really starting to piss me off. They were like poisonous shadows, always two steps behind or two heads behind a palm. They were everywhere, like a bad case of Kardashianitis.

Kardashianits

Kar.dash.ian.its [ Car -dash e an i tess]

noun,

1.     A disease characterized by excessive exposure to the Kardashians; either through social media, print media or television. There is still no known cure, although scientists are researching one.

“Hey” Trev’s voice was nauseating.

“Hey.”  I hoped my reply was demonstrating adequately the non-enthusiasm I had for them right now.

“Have a good day?” He asked as if he actually cared.

“Very. Thanks.” I wanted to scream, Fuck off, Chris and I are in the middle of a very important conversation.

“So glad. So glad.” Trev nodded with sincere insincerity. And then he reached down and took me by the hand- squeezing it. I nearly died of fright. He knelt and looked me straight in the eye.

“I’m happy that you’re happy….” And then he got up and walked off.

What a liar!

“I can see why he’s a good lawyer,” Chris said pulling me up onto my feet, “Come, now that Mr. and Mrs. Mauritius have left, lets say we have a swim.’

Our moment was over now, and so was our conversation. But I was desperate to return to it.