Stargazing
Kygo featuring Justin Jesso

Matthew Gray

Thinking back to yesterday made me smile a whole lot more than I ever intended to, if I would've wanted to or not.

I couldn't believe that I actually went swimming after years of refusing to swim ever since I almost drowned many years ago. I never dared to go swimming until yesterday when Justin took me to a beautiful and memorable place.

It was honestly spontaneous, adventurous and I loved every second of it. It was as if my problems were being washed away by the clear cold water and I came out as a totally new person. I'm not sure how or why, but I felt pretty okay ever since.

Jumping from such a huge height felt so careless, plus the view had me nothing but speechless. It looked truly amazing with the clear water, bright yellow sun and soft clouds. This would be a memory that I will never and never could forget.

I couldn't help but smile at the memory of it..

"Hey, since when are you wearing green?" I suddenly heard Ryan, who sat besides me, ask as he watched me with his wide curious brown eyes.

It made him look so sweet and innocent whenever he looked like that. His eyes had a shining brown color and you could clearly see his emotions in there. He looked basically like a lost puppy,

Cute..

"Oh, uhm.. Can I not wear something other than black or gray then? Or does this colour not suit me?" I asked also confused now, while I slightly got worried about it.

What was wrong with the fact that I liked wearing this? I felt like trying something new yet different. I didn't think it would be very obvious or anything even though I do wear a lot of dark colours. This sweater has one of the most bright colours I ever wore in my whole entire life. Was this sweater not good for me? Or does this colour make me look uglier?

"Matty..? You hate the colour green" Ryan looked at me with a confused yet weird expression.

"He's right Matt, you always disliked that colour?" Tyler made that comment, probably because he had been listening to our conversation.

"I just wanted to try something new" I shrugged innocent, looking at the both of them and then I smiled soft at Ryan.

"You know.. You also smile strangely a lot today. Something seems very off about you today. Are you sure you're okay?' He asked me with a frown plastered on his adorable face, but he still had that comforting smile of his on his lips.

"I'm positive" I nodded my head in confidence and kept looking at the small, pretty boy.

"Well, whatever it is.. I'm glad that you're finally smiling and being happy for once" I heard him say before he wrapped his small arms around my neck to hug me.

I placed a soft kiss on his hair and wrapped my arms around his waist. He was so tiny, vulnerable yet so sweet, caring, playful and funny. I liked him even more for that and anyone would be lucky to have him, because to me he was utterly perfect. I didn't gave a small care about how opposite our characters were from one another, because I loved him dearly and that was enough for me.

"Thank you Ry.." I whispered in his ear and pulled him a whole lot closer to me.

Something just told me to keep him close to me, to feel his comfortable warmth and never let go of him again. That's the exact moment when my eyes met the familiar green eyes from him, Justin McCall. The weird, goofy and unknown boy that I haven't even met like two months ago and have been friends with for barely a week. He didn't look very happy today compared to me.

He looked as if he was glaring at me? I looked away and smiled at Ryan. I won't let someone else take my happiness away, I was finally happy for a day and I need to use that as much as possible before I feel like shit all over again. These moments are precious, especially when you're depressed like me. Even though it sounded so selfish, I didn't want to go back to being sad all over again and Justin should learn not to act like an asshole all the time towards me.

From what I know I haven't done anything wrong and I've been nice ever since we had a truce. We decided to act normally to each other and if he even couldn't do that then fuck him. I didn't like how he was glaring at me, it gave me all the bad feelings yet I tried my best to ignore all of it.

"Hey wanna hang out today? It's been a while" I asked Ryan.

He nodded happily and hugged me once again while giggling, which made me grin. He's really and honestly adorable with me. Every human on this world would see how adorable he were just from a slight distance.

"You look happy today too" I grinned at the tiny boy.

"Because I missed you silly! I will never let you wander around school all alone, ever again. I feel so guilty and very sorry about what happened.. What if you'd hurt yourself, beat yourself up for it or worse.. Killed yourself.." He whispered the last part more to himself than towards me and hugged me even tighter with his small arms.

"But I didn't, so don't you even dare to feel guilty about this. It happened and it's in the past now" I smiled wider and didn't even think I could smile bigger than I already was.

"I don't-"

"Hey.. you won't get rid of me that easily" I interrupted him and grinned, but somehow had a weird feeling about it.

"Okay.. But can we go to the fair tonight! I wanna do that as a hang-out thing" He asked with wide and excited eyes, almost squealing.

"The fair?" I asked.

"I know you don't like it, but-"

"No no, it's okay. If you wanna do that then we can go tonight" I shrugged.

"Thank you Matthew you're the best!" He squealed happily and hugged me all over again.

The rest of the break we were just talking and laughing about the smallest things. Also the rest of the day we had classes as normally. Today was a day that I mostly spend time with Ryan and our friends. I haven't spoken to Justin the rest of the day, because he was still glaring at me. I couldn't care less, because I had fun day with my friends and felt like we were bonding. That was all I needed right now.

Even though, Matthew will still be here stargazing; looking at his lost star called Rain Stanford.