Titanium
Sia x David Guetta

Matthew Gray

"J-Justin?" I whimpered and tried to pry my eyes open.

My eyes met a blur from the lights that were shining so bright, but I think it looked like Justin.

"Matthew!" He instantly hugged me and let me go after a couple of minutes.

I felt so warm and fuzzy. I couldn't even bring out any words to say and I never wanted this to end either. All I wanted were his arms that would be around me for ever. The thought of that made me feel butterflies in my stomach.

I slowly tried to sit up only to be pushed back against the bed again.

"Hey, hey Matz, baby, calm down. I'm here now okay? Just rest" I heard his voice shaking, as if he was panicking which was rare for the Justin who always seemed to be collected in every situation possible.

"Wh-what happened? W-where am I?" I questioned when I felt my head pounding like crazy and my stomach hurting.

I suddenly heard a faint beep that kept going on in the distance. But my main focus was on the pain in my head and stomach. I felt like I was kicked in the stomach and run over by a truck more than once. Luckily my eyesight slowly came back.

"You're in the hospital babe.. You took an overdose on alcohol and XTC, but luckily your mom found you on time before any permanent damage would happen to you" He sighed in relief and slowly caressed my cheek whilst making deep eye contact.

My heart dropped when I saw the familiar forest eyes changing into pools of tears. I knew he was holding it in, but he was on the edge of crying and letting his feelings flow out.

"I-" I stopped and made an expression whilst the pain became worse.

"Hey, it's okay. Matty, just breath" He whispered in such a way that even my body reacted and relaxed to it.

I slowly tried to inhale and exhale in hope that I wouldn't throw up. It seemed to help after a while though.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me.

"Like Donald Trump came over to poison me with his face expressions"

He let out a soft yet genuine laugh. I missed hearing that laugh especially when I was the cause of something that beautiful.

"W-whe-" I tried to question the whole situation, but I couldn't think straight anymore.

"Your mom is getting some clothes and other stuff for you along with Ryan since you probably need to stay here for a while. We all have been visiting you also your friends from school came by" He explained as if he knew what I was about to ask.

"O-oh.." I didn't know what to say or how to react in this situation.

I couldn't make an excuse. Justin had to know the truth. And I can't hide that anymore. I'm suicidal and that's how it is.

"You attempted suicide Matz.. Why? I knew when I saw you last time, you were sad, but I never thought you'd-" He stopped in his mid-sentence and I saw him struggling with bringing some words out.

"God, I've been so stupid not to see it" He muttered ashamed, blaiming himself for the damage I made for myself.

My eyes went over him, I saw that his usual styled hair were messy. It made him look cute and very different since I'm not used seeing it.

His green eyes didn't look as bright anymore, they were red and he looked drained. His face mostly spoke of hurt and guilt.

I didn't really feel a lot when he explained that I attempted suicide, again. I mean this was the second time and it was honestly no surprise. I was not happy and I was influenced by all this negativity.

"T-there's something you n-need to know.." I started slowly.

"What is it?" He sat up straight and looked at me.

"I-I'm bipolar. That means that sometimes I do things that I normally wouldn't do and maybe not even want to do. I call them episodes. I have fun ones and bad ones. In the fun ones, I do crazy and spontane stuff. In the bad ones I feel depressed and sometimes it goes that far that I can kill myself. This is the second time I attempted suicide. I don't know if it was because everything came to me all at ones, but now you know. I understand if you leave me for it. I mean who the hell wants someone with a bipolair depression" I explained to him and tried to keep my voice steady.

None of you could imagine how scared I was at that point. Justin did mean a lot to me and I wasn't ready to tell him, because I didn't want to lose him just like how I lost others.

Every time I told someone, they backed off of me or thought I was just crazy. And I couldn't bear the thought of Justin possibly leaving me, it made me even more scared than the fact that I was able to kill myself.

But of course only Justin could react in the dorky way he did.

"So that was why you went swimming with me while you can't swim!" He laughed loud.

I instantly laughed with him, but tried not too hard since my stomach was still trying to kill me.

Then I looked more serious towards him, because I still didn't know if this changed anything.

"Hey it's okay, I don't think otherwise of you just because you have a serious depression Matz. I'm glad you told me" He said when he saw me looking at him and caressed my cheek while made me lean into his warm hand.

For some reason this definitely took me by surprise. The only person except Justin that reacted this way was Ryan and Ryan only. I always thought Justin would show that mean side of himself again and become ice cold towards me.

"W-wait.. you're not freaked out or mad that I didn't told you?" I asked to be sure.

"No of course not silly! I understand why you act so weird sometimes. Remember that you almost got run over? That was one of your spontaneous episodes, wasn't it?" He had a huge grin spread across his face.

"And I was also a bit drunk" I laughed and nodded then.

That was one of my favorite memories though. How close he hold me into his safe arms.

"I'm going to get a doctor now okay?" He said and stood up, but I grabbed his wrist before he could go.

"N-no! Please s-stay with me" I rambled fast in fear.

"Hey shht, it's okay. I'll just get a doctor and be right back okay?" He whispered and kissed my forehead, making me agree instantly.

He left the room and like he promised me to, he came back in a or two minute with a doctor by his side.

"Good afternoon Gray, My name is doctor Snow. But you can call me Ricky" The man with blonde hair and blue eyes that had doctors equipment told me.

I simply just nodded.

"The only thing you need to do is answer a couple of questions for me okay?" He asked me and I nodded again, I felt Justin intertwine his fingers with mine.

"Okay, we start off simple. What is your name and age?" He asked me.

"I am Matthew Gray, recently became twenty" I replied.

"Okay and Matthew, do you remember what happened to you?" He asked further.

"Not really. Justin told me I took an overdose. All I can remember is that I stayed home from school" I honestly answered and tried to remember.

"Okay Matthew, all of this is normal. It's possible that you will suffer from temperarily memory loss, headaches, nausea. We want to keep you here for a couple of days until you are steady again. It shouldnt take longer than a couple days. We will talk about therapy et cetera when you leave" He smiled at me.

"Okay.." I said with a shaky voice.

"Call me if there is anything and the nurses will check on you once in a while. Feel better soon Matt" He said before leaving Justin and I alone in this room.

"How can you be so cool about this? Why aren't you leaving or yelling at me? Shouldn't you be angry at me?" I bombarded him with all my questions that swayed in my mind.

"Because you are Matthew. It's not your fault that you are bipolar. Yeah I was angry and disappointed, but that is why I listened to your side first. I do feel sad, especially with the though of losing you. I can't lose you Matthew Gray, not right now and not ever. I like you way too much for that" He send me a sad smile and squeezed my hand in the best comforting way.

He made me feel speechless at that moment. I couldn't tell how long we were staring into each others eyes, but I kind of liked it. It also seemed like he was slowly leaning in on me.

"Justin, I-"

He didn't let me speak any longer by closing the small distance between us and crashing his lips against mine all of a sudden. Yet I couldnt help but smile and kiss back as sparks errupted through my body.

All of the pain seemed to fade, my thoughts were a blur and the only thing I could focus on were the butterflies in my stomach.

He tried to slip his tongue further into my mouth and take over dominance, but I wouldn't let him. I suddenly felt his hands through my hair and he pulled at them, making me groan as he took advantage of it by slipping his tongue in. The bastard was grinning against my lips yet I couldn't help it but smirk also.

"ALL THE FREAKING POTATOS ON EARTH! I knew it!" I heard someone yell loud.