Pew pew pow pow, ur now a cow, sry not sry

Mentally Deformed and Deranged People Groupchat
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Y/n is now online

Y/n
Somebody changed the name
again??

Y/n
Detective skills say it was Chrollo

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️ is now online

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
And why's that?

Y/n
No emojis❌❌

Y/n
"And" is lowercased because it's a filler
word or whatever(I'm in my smart era)

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
Minor words with less than three letters generally are, yes

Y/n
See, knew I was onto smthn there

Y/n
Almost had my very first thought

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
I'm proud of you

Y/n
Top Ten Phrases the Reader has Never
Heard:

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️ is now online

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
Don't do that

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️ is now offline

Y/n
Sry I won't😞

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
Care to explain for me, dear?

Y/n
Wall➡️💥➡️No more wall

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
Entirely unhelpful, but thank you for
trying

Y/n
Why aren't we married yet?

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
That's abrupt, why are you asking?

Y/n
??? What's thar

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
That* and it's synonymous with "sudden"
or "unexpected"

Y/n
Ohhhhh:0

Y/n
So ur asking why I'm asking that so
rendomly?😼 (i knew that)

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
Randomly* and yes, dear

Y/n
I was unhelpful and u still loved me
afterwards😵‍💫😵‍💫

Y/n
High quality husband material right
there

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
I'm beginning to question who set your standards so low

Y/n
??

Y/n
???????

Y/n
???????????

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
I'm asking who you dated that made you believe the bare minimum is that "high
quality"

Y/n
Clearly u have not dated men in this day
and age

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
I can't say that I have, no.

Y/n
Ruthless slobs, you shouldn't let em' infect
you

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
Infect me?

Y/n
They'll make ypu likr them Chrollo, u
gotta trust me, stay away from em

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️ is now online

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
You are confused, Y/n.

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
He is the ruthless slob, same with Hisoka

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️ is now offline

Y/n
Nuh-uh>:(

Y/n
Chrollie would never

Y/n
Not so sure about Hisoka though:/

⭐️Hisocat💧 is now online

⭐️Hisocat💧
Ruthless, perhaps

⭐️Hisocat💧
But a slob? How degrading~

Y/n
Didn't hear a denial

Y/n
Anyways Chrollo ur smart

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
One could say so, why?

Y/n
Lawyer

Y/n
I'm suing Mr. Himoka

Y/n
Hisja+

Y/n
Hisova

Y/n
Jehovas witness guy

Y/n
Persnal enemy of of CPS

Y/n
Hisija

Y/n
I'm steugling again

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
I see that

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️ is now online

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
We all see that, actually

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
However I do wish to stay for this
"suing" as you called it

⭐️Hisocat💧
I must admit it's caught my interest ♡

⭐️Hisocat💧
May I inquire about what it is I'm being
sued for, love?~

Y/n
Emotional distress

Y/n
And I have a hunch that you've been
slaughtering ant eaters

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
Surprisingly, this is not the strangest thing
I've heard today

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
That is because you work with freaks
of nature

Y/n
Heh.. that's 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
That font is unnatural.

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
Please refrain from using it.

⭐️Hisocat💧
I'm still waiting to be sued, my loves ♧

Y/n
Yeah I bet u are

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
Patience is a virtue, Hisoka

⭐️Hisocat💧
Perhaps so~

⭐️Hisocat💧
Yet that doesn't change that mine is
beginning to wear thin ♤

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
I, yet again, fail to care

Y/n
I'm sure u fail at lots of tgings

Y/n
You're not giving successful, sry

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
You are one to talk

Y/n
What's that supposed to mean u trust
fund baby

⭐️Hisocat💧
Ladies, ladies~

Y/n
Ur one to talk

Y/n
Interpret that how y want

⭐️Hisocat💧
⭐️-_-💧

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
As entertaining as this is, I'm quite preoccupied at the moment

Y/n
No u aren't, stay

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
And who are you to decide that?

Y/n
Ur spouse, duh 😒

Y/n
Now, Hisoka, I want twenty thousand
dollars

⭐️Hisocat💧
Do I strike you as poor, my dear?~

⭐️Hisocat💧
Higher ♡

Y/n
Twenty bilkikb dollars

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
Billion*

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
He is not that rich, Y/n

Y/n
:(

⭐️Hisocat💧
That's manageable, my dear💖

⭐️Hisocat💧
The question is what I'll being getting
in return ♢

Y/n
Someone doesn't know how suing
works 🤗

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
None of you do

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
I have been taken to court before

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
Though that was for entirely different
reasons

Y/n
Illumi wgar😭😭😭

⭐️Hisocat💧
I don't recall you ever mentioning this~

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
You.. willingly went to court?

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
Willing is a strong, and incorrect word

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
They were threatening to take it down.

Y/n
Tajk what diwn😭😭

Y/n
Stpp vsibf so cryptic😭

⭐️Hisocat💧
Now that you've mentioned it, you can't
go back, my love~

⭐️Hisocat💧
All attempts at hiding information are
futile ♤

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
You? Court?

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
You still being flabbergasted is quite remarkable

Y/n
Never thought I'd hear that word from
you🤭

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
See*

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
We are texting, not speaking

⭐️Hisocat💧
Answers, Lulu<3

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
It is rather anticlimactic, I had simply
illegally expanded my hideout with
galvanized square steel

Y/n
Lmfao what😭😭

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
I will do many things to secure a mission's success

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
Living like a peasant is not one of them.

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
How much torture did you get for that
stunt?

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
Just a few months.

Y/n
???

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
Your father is going soft then, I see

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
He was understanding

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
The only issue was that I was in public
news

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
Ah, I'll have to search for that paper

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
It's only online

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
Never mind.

Y/n
??????????

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️
He despises everything to do with the
internet

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
You aren't much better, Illumi. Watch
yourself.

Y/n
Not what I meant, torture???

Y/n
Also why's hiso so silrnt

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
Silent* and good question, I have no idea,
hope this helps🙏💋

Illumeow⚫️-⚫️ is now offline

Y/n
SHAL!?

Y/n
UR BACK, MOT CLICKBAIT⁉️⁉️

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
😘

Y/n
UGHHHCGCCHHC SHALLLLL

Y/n
IT'S BERN SO LONG

Y/n
WHERE HAVE U BEEN

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
The states, destroying Walmarts

Y/n
Valid ngl

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
One sec Chrollo keeps asking why I'm in
his house☹️

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
"How'd you find me" this and "what do
you mean you have a tracker on me"
that🙄

Y/n
Honestly so toxic of him🙄🙄

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️
Gotta go before boss actually kills me
though, see ya 🫰💋

Y/n
Good luck, soldier 07

✝️Chrollo Lucilfur✝️ is now offline
Y/n is now offline
⭐️Hisocat💧 is now offline
Y/n is now online

Y/n
Just wanna say I knew u we're lurking😔

Y/n is now offline

Word count: 1210

Fun Facts:

• Illumi: *hates Chrollo*
Also Illumi: *leaves the second Chrollo is replaced by random troupe members*

• Yeah Illumi had to hide out in a dusty apartment for a mission and used Galvanized square steel, eco-friendly wood veneers and screws borrowed from unsuspecting second aunts to expand the space. Giving him ample space to store his out of season quilts, and a desk that can be used as a table and folded down when not in use.

• Ignore that it's been like twenty days since I updated🧍‍♀️