*pokes head over the edge of the countertop*

Well, hello!  

Today we're going to cover a topic that's been on my list for a while, and that is the Top/Bottom dynamic in LGBTQ+ stories.  

*ducks back down behind the counter and raises two sock puppets*

Blinky: But Littie... what is the Top/Bottom dynamic??  I'm just a sock, I don't understand these things!

Littie-ish Sockpuppet:  I'm so glad you asked, Blinky!  

The terms Top and Bottom are typically used when referring to a role within a homosexual relationship, typically male-male.  The top is the guy that pitches while the bottom is the one that catches.

Blinky: Pitching and catching?  Are we playing baseball now?

Littie-ish Sockpuppet: No, I was just trying to be polite.  Since it appears I'm going to need to be my blunt, embarrassing self, I'll put it in plain terms.  The top is the guy who puts his dick in the other guy, the bottom.  The one who fucks versus the one who gets fucked.

Blinky: ...Humans are weird.

*stands up from behind the counter and tosses the sock puppets over her shoulder*

Let's talk facts, people.

The exact number of gay men in the world is unknown.  Many are closeted, after all, and data of this sort requires honest reporting by survey participants.  What we have been able to determine is that somewhere between 3% and 16% of men in the world have sex with other men.*  

The definition of what constitutes "sex" does vary, though.  For some, sex is any sort of intimate situation that involves genital stimulation.  For others, only penetration is considered sex.  

Moving right along, let's look at that second one: penetrative hokey-pokey.

Studies have revealed that only about 40% of men who have sex with men are doing so via anal sex.**

Of those, the vast majority - 41.62% - report themselves on surveys as being versatile partners. *** Switches.  They'll do either role.  Tops were at 26.46% and bottoms at 31.92%.

"So..." I hear you mutter, confused.  "What's your point?"

Not much with respect to that information.  I just wanted to educated everyone about the numbers before I get to the actual point of this chapter.  And that point is this:

Whether a man defines himself as a top, a bottom, or a switch, it DOES NOT DEFINE HIS CHARACTER. 

I see this a lot in fics:

A top is strong, masculine, dominant, aggressive.

A bottom is meek, smaller, feminine, docile.

Tops run the house hold.  They're the "dad" if there's kids.  They're the one that goes out and has the job.  They're the "man" of the relationship.

Bottoms stay home with the kids.  They're often called "mom".  They're nurturing and soft.  They're called the "woman" of the relationship.  

STAHP. DOING. THAT.

Defining a character's role based on their preferred sexual position is not only unrealistic, it's insulting.  Trying to shove them into the stereotypical gender roles of a cis-het society is incredibly insulting and, to be blunt, ignorant.

It's fine to have a character that you wish to define as a top or a bottom or switch.  It's fine to have them label themselves as such.  But this label is not a character trait.  Don't use it to define your character's role in life, their personality, or their physical attributes.****

I know you guys like examples, right?  So let's take a look at some of my characters in order to get a look at what I mean.

Examples!

We will use "A Little Slice of Heaven" for this since it's in a modern setting and has the most characters.  Let's play "What's His Role!"  Warning: Big ol' spoilers ahead.

Namjoon

Main Characterizations: Clumsy, awkward, good-hearted, self-depreciating, overly trusting, a little clueless

Sexuality: 100% into dick

Namjoon has spent most of his adult life as a door mat.  He's finally breaking out of his cocoon and experiencing what it's like to make his own decisions. If you haven't read this book, or aren't caught up on it, could you tell from those traits what role he plays in the bedroom?

Anticipated Answer: Bottom

Why?: If I were using bedroom role as a character trait, you'd probably think he was a bottom because of how he just knuckles under whenever Jackie treats him badly.  He comes off as a quieter, kind of subdued person at first which, according to the generalized ideas of bottoms, is a bottom trait.

The ACTUAL Answer: Switch.

Why?:  Namjoon wasn't always a docile follower.  After eight years of being treated like shit, he became downtrodden.  That doesn't mean he was a strict bottom at any point in time, and he wasn't during his marriage, either.

Seokjin

Main Characterizations: Dedicated, determined, helpful, humorous, a bit impatient, relatively selfless

Sexuality: Pan

He's a bit of a mystery since we don't know a lot about him, mainly due to spoilers that needed to be protected.  People call him 'boss' and he's often the one coming up with the plans, taking charge of the situation.  He's the eldest, after all, and that comes with a lot of responsibility to his younger friends.  If all you were given were those traits and his sexuality, could you figure out what he preferred in bed?

Anticipated Answer: Top

Why?: He's a boss.  He has authority.  He holds himself with an air of confidence and tends to act on it.  He does whatever the hell he wants, pretty much.  Those are typically traits fic authors assign to tops.

The ACTUAL Answer: Switch. 

Why?: Why not?  Seokjin is pansexual.  What that means is that he doesn't care what gender you were born as and he doesn't care what gender you present as.  People are people, sex is sex, and however you do it, with whatever parts you have, is bound to be a good time.

Hoseok

Main Characterization: Level-headed, fun-loving, supportive, voice of reason, empathetic, touchy, scared of everything

Sexuality: Bi

Hobi is the friend that will hold your hand just to hold it.  He's there with a shoulder and a kind word.  He's the most likely to cry during sad movies.  What's his role?

Anticipated Answer: Switch...? Maybe...?

Why?: Bisexual means he's into both men and women.  I could see him being a little confusing because of his rather sensitive and caring characterization, traits that are typically assigned to bottoms.  However, he's also into women, which would give him a typically more dominant role when in a relationship with one.  If I were reading a character like him from a story I didn't write, I'd probably assume switch.

The ACTUAL Answer: Top.  

Why?: He doesn't care what holes you have, he's putting himself in them. 

Jungkook

Main Characterizations: Dominant/aggressive, easily flustered, can be shy, adventurous, strong

Sexuality: Dudes only

Jungkook doesn't have a lot of screen time in Heaven, but when he does he's usually a strong, aggressive type when he's not in the middle of a gay panic over Taehyung.  What do you think his role would be?

Anticipated Answer: Top

Why?: Because it's Jungkook.  He's athletic, he's aggressive (he threatened to dunk Yoongi in the ocean if the older man didn't answer a question), he's typically the one driving everyone around, he can surf and lifeguard, he drives speedboats, he can bench press a person.

The ACTUAL Answer:  He doesn't know yet.  

Why?: He's a virgin and they haven't gotten to that stage in their relationship.  He's a bit scared of the idea of hurting a bottom partner, as well as nervous about being hurt as a bottom.  Thus, he's been insistent that they take things slowly and isn't even sure if he wants to have penetrative sex.  He's happy with blowjobs for now.

Taehyung

Main Characterizations: Friendly, easy to get along with, pure hearted, ridiculously observant, social butterfly, just wants all his friends to find love and be happy

Sexuality: Gay as can be

Taehyung is a pure delight. He's adamant you look at his texts so he can prove his point. He's the first to meddle in his friends' affairs and will overshare information if given the chance. He's opinionated and feisty. What do you say for him?

Anticipated Answer: Total Bottom, right?

Why?: Just look at him!  He's smol and cuddly and bouncy and just so sweet!  He's able to act innocent when he wants to.  He's bubbly and chatty and a bit childish.  He gives off bottom traits, yeah?

The ACTUAL Answer: Top.  

Why?: He's bottomed once and hated it.  He'd rather not have penetrative sex if the only option was to bottom.

The last two for the examples are, of course, Yoongi and Jimin.  They are a very special case and I will do my best to explain their dynamic, and why it is the way it is.

Yoongi

Main Characteristics: Slow to to trust, gossipy, protective, hard-working, a little snobby, possessive

Sexuality: Undefined/Doesn't label himself

Yoongi never talks about his sexuality.  The other characters aren't even sure what he's into.  Not-het is about as close as anyone assumes.  So... what's his role?

Anticipated Answer: Top

Why?: Yoongi's personality is very authoritative.  He's not very soft or particularly affectionate.  Those are typically more dominant traits.

The ACTUAL Answer: Bottom when penetrative sex occurs

Why?: Yoongi is an example of how a non-het man's partner can dictate the role he prefers to take.  More on that in a moment.

Jimin

Main Characteristics: Hypersexual, friendly, calculating, incredibly patient, hardworking, vain, likes to be cute

Sexuality: Essentially gay

Jimin is flirty and fun.  He knows how to manipulate a situation into his favor.  He has more clothing than comfortably fits into a standard one-bedroom apartment.  So, what would his role be?  You should be able to figure it out based on Yoongi's.  But, if you didn't know Yoongi's role, what would you guess was Jimin's?

Anticipated Answer: Bottom

Why?: Because he's 'girly.'  He doesn't conform to gender stereotypes and can be seen as a rather effeminate person.  Lots of fic authors depict bottoms as feminine.

The ACTUAL Answer: Top when penetrative sex occurs

Why?: Jimin is the wildcard as far as this story goes because, while everyone else in the story is cis (born male, presents male), Jimin is not.  And that is why he and Yoongi's relationship dynamic is a little different.

He is not trans, nor is he intersex.  Instead, Jimin is genderfluid.  The thing about genderfluidity is that it varies by person in how they feel about it. Some use neutral pronouns. Some want them flipped whenever they flow between the genders. Some just keep their birth pronouns. It's all up to them.

In Heaven, Jimin was born male and still sees his body as male.  He doesn't feel he should be in a different body, or that his body isn't his own.  He has no problem being considered male and still uses masculine pronouns.  For the most part, he doesn't have issues with dissociation.  

Except during sex.

When he's on the more feminine side of the spectrum, he doesn't want penetrative sex.  At. All.  It ain't happening.  It causes him to feel  dissociated because, at that point in time, his body doesn't have the equipment his brain wants it to have.  And when he's in his more cis mind-set, he doesn't want to bottom because he's afraid it will make him slip towards the other side and trigger the dissociation.

The Take Away

People are not defined by their bedroom role anymore than they are defined by their sexuality.  Seeing top and bottom used to depict specific characteristics is tiresome.  It's a stereotyping to a very personal degree, as one's chosen bedroom role is a very intimate thing.  

It's fine if you've got a proud AF top who is totally willing to tell anyone and everyone that they're the giver.  But don't rely on that role to dictate your character's attributes or personality.  It's irritating.

Notations 

This isn't a works-cited or bibliography.  Just general notes on where my information came from.  If you want further evidence, I can provide actual websites, articles, and peer-reviewed studies published in credible media.

*International HIV/AIDs Alliance 2003 "Between Men: HIV/STI Prevention in Men Who Have Sex with Men."

**Indiana University and George Mason University 2011

***Taken from a survey of profiles on gay-specific websites

****I'm not talking about Omega-Verse stories or Mpreg in this.  That's a whole different kettle of fish that I ain't even going to try to explain.  You just have to suspend belief and go with it on those ones.