DAY 1, GREENIE.
RISE & SHINE.

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WICKED DREAMS (book one).
°• CHAPTER TWO •°

" WHY AM I
HERE? "

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USING THE CRUTCHES WAS A LOT LIKE LEARNING HOW TO WALK. Iris assumed so, because she couldn't remember that far. She has to take baby steps with the cushions digging into her underarms. She teeters as she comes into contact with the soil but takes a deep breath and plants her uninjured leg forward. When a toddler learns how to walk, they don't fear falling, they don't fear much at all. They know there's someone there to catch them. Iris wasn't as lucky. She was alone in a foreign place full of boys, and she had to trust them because she had no other choice - but she had to trust herself more. There were instincts within her she had yet to uncover, and no matter how empty her head might be, she had to trust it.

A loud clap startles Iris and she twisted her head to see Alby was shooting a glare of daggers towards his people who were scattered around, supposedly working, but their eyes trailing after the new girl. Iris's frustration and embarrassment would have spiked through the roof if she wasn't so damn worn out.

"Get back to work, all of you Klunkheads!" Alby shouted with a loud clap of his hands.

Fortunately, they know better than to disobey their leader, and immediately swivel to focus on their work again. Alby rolled his eyes and Iris nearly follows in suit. "Are all boys like this?" She asked with a tilt of her head. "Stupid."

"Nope. Some of us are great, actually," Newt corrected as if he's the only good one standing there. Iris almost believed he is. She would have if she didn't internally give herself a talk about trust. He's careful as possible as he slung his arm over Iris's shoulder, trying to not disturb her crutches. "Need a guide? Then I'm your friend. So, take a good, long look, Greenie. There isn't much."

So Iris does. She complied, taking a very good, long look at what she knew was her new home, what Alby called the Glade. That's when she realizes just how truthful they were, and just how truly stuck she was in this nightmare of walls. That's almost all that's in her line of vision. Walls made of solid concrete leave Iris and her new friends trapped in an endless field. They were built so tall that Iris had to tilt her head back to see them, and even then, the walls are pretty much lost in the clouds.

It was like a prison, Iris's first thought was. She then wondered how many of them felt the same after so long before they gave up, making this place home.

She started to wonder if she's done something wrong in the past she can't remember. Was this a forever punishment or a possible attempt of atonement? Was it both? These were questions Iris wanted to spill, demand to know, but the words don't leave her mouth. It would only be replied with impossible, unknown answers. Iris figured they've had enough of the same questions after who knows how long. She has to force herself to look away from the enclosing walls before they make her feel like she's suffocating.

But it's so silent that Iris feels it becoming an alarm only for her to hear. The boys can recognize the uncomfort of Iris's features twisting, her physical pain from clenching at the crutches with the limp that follows because it's clear, noticeable. The overwhelming waterfall of emotions has overfilled, poured over her, filling her lungs - that's what they can't see, but what they can understand. And there's no fighting instinct Iris can dig up that'll save her from drowning. All she can do is struggle against it in silence and allow it to spill.

She wondered just how long the storm will last. If it'll ever end. She also considers that it never will, there will never be an eternal paradise to enter, and this would be her life forever. The thought was terrifying and struck her with another emotion that Iris discovered felt too much like fear.

Iris's silence must have caught the attention of Newt. She sees he's staring at her with curious brown eyes that glare right through her as if he's done this a million times before, but this time with an interest in the battle that was going on in her head which he couldn't hear.

"You're taking this really well," Newt commented offhandedly. "Usually Greenie's take one look at the walls and go ballistic."

"I am." Iris shook her head as if trying to rid herself of any further negative thoughts. "I'm... I don't know, it's a lot. It's scary being here. It's even scarier that I don't know anything, that I'm here with a bunch of stupid - "

Iris cut herself off before she could finish. Her breath becomes a lump in her throat that forms from the word boys that doesn't escape. She doesn't want to cause a rift in the one person out of the few she met she found herself liking because of his sympathy towards her. She can't start off on a bad foot. Sure, she can freak out, cry, even scream in a fit. Those were probably acceptable. But acting out, intentionally hurting another probably wasn't. Iris would never try to do so the same way she had no ill intentions stored for them. Not that she knew of.

If Newt was offended at all, he didn't show it, although Iris suspected he guessed what she meant quite easily. Her distaste of boys wasn't being hidden so well anyways, but what have they done so far to be worthy of the trust she's already given them, having been too full of fear to not do so?

However, Iris can tell Alby doesn't seem too fond of her. She can sense the distrust that radiates off of him only to envelop her when he crosses his arms and although she understands, it makes her feel terrible. Something told her Alby didn't treat every newbie like this because they were boys. Iris didn't know why she was here. She wished she did. She longed to have an answer for the leader who was only looking out for his found family of what Iris guessed had been so for years.

Years. The word brought a new level of terror. How long would she be stuck here like everyone else? Would she go mad after so long or has she already done so and only can't remember?

"First things first," Alby announced. His deep voice breaks Iris from her thoughts and she pretended her new world isn't crushing her to look at him. "We have to deal with this. I'm calling a Gathering as soon as possible."

She can still hear it behind his words, his stand - he doesn't trust her. It would be a long time before Iris would be able to prove herself worthy, to be one of them. The Gladers.

"Alby," Newt began, his arms crossed, "Do you really believe that's necessary?"

"No. But I think keeping everyone here safe is necessary," Alby argued.

In the hour Iris has known them, she can sort out what little information she's been given. He's the leader who won't back down without a fight and Newt, he's his second, who Alby needed to agree with him for balance.

Iris doesn't give them a chance to interrupt her this time. "Then I agree," she whispered. Her voice trembles even when she tries to keep it sturdy. "If I'm a sign, an omen or - or whatever you want to call it, then you should know. You should keep everyone safe." She looked at Newt again. He's still mulling over the options they had. "Right?" She urged.

Newt flexed his arm and rubs a hand across the back of his neck. He nodded at Alby. "I'll call for a Gathering." The agreement brings Alby ease, Iris can see the way his muscles relax. He gestured to the girl again. "But she'll need a guide in the meantime. Want me to grab Jace, too?"

That caused Iris to wonder what a Gathering was. She also wondered who the hell Jace was and if he was on the same level of being welcome as Newt or Alby was. It was hard to tell. From what little she knew, Iris could tell these boys were all different in their own ways. The thought of running into a horrible one scared her, but another thought occurred. She didn't believe Newt would have grabbed a guide that would be cruel to her.

"Can I ask what a Gathering is?" Iris pipes up after Newt disappeared. She's hesitant, on-guard for any signs of snapping from Alby.

But none come. The leader remains calm, but his eyes barely glaze over Iris. "It's what we call a meeting with the Keepers - the leaders for our roles." He paused as Iris attempted to make sense of the puzzle pieces he supplied her with before finishing, "Everyone has a job here. We follow through, do our part, make decisions together, and that's how we survive."

Iris almost lowered her head in a silent panic and shame. She could feel her stomach twist into a tight knot that couldn't be undone on its own despite the sharp pain it brings, bad enough to bring tears to her eyes and cause her breath to shorten anxiously. Iris let everything hit her at once. Being so overwhelmed had finally caught up after Alby's final blow.

She didn't want to hurt anyone. She didn't know why she was here. And she would never want to get in the way of their survival.

"If you don't trust me - " Iris's voice broke. She clears her throat, blinks quickly, and repositioned herself. "... Then why am I here? Why don't you just let my leg eventually be the end and kill me, leave me somewhere behind the walls?" The tone grows until it's loud, frustrated. "Why am I here?" She repeated with a hint of further anger that isn't directed exactly at Alby, but to whomever or whatever he called the Creators.

"I didn't say I don't trust you yet," Alby defended. "But for three years we've built a community of only boys. The Creators wouldn't have sent you without a reason. We only hope it's for the best."

"Me too."

She noticed another boy glancing her way, but Alby doesn't bark at him to get back to work. Iris watches him grow closer.

He's handsome, with curly brown hair that resembled coils, eyes that match the color, and dimples that reach his chin despite how his long face had been wiped clean of any hinted emotions. He wasn't even smiling. It was sweet, in a weird way. Or it would have been if he hadn't walked with such confidence that Iris could see his overly large ego like it was physically in front of her. This was something he must have been doing for years, a job, as Alby wisely put it.

Jace threw a graceful nod towards her that in some odd way Iris doesn't have to dodge and ignore because she'd feel degraded. She actually appreciated it more than anything. His eyes aren't wide as they scan her, he doesn't seem scared or intimidated, or as if he holds some sort of power over her. He sees her just as someone else.

"I guess your tour starts today. So does your new life." Jace cocked his head behind him. "Try to keep up."

He doesn't seem like one to be pitiful and Iris likes that. She also appreciated that his statement was bullshit and Jace is actually patient after they part from Alby. He took long strides, but she suspects it's because he's pretty tall - nearly a head or two more than her - and still will pause if he notices Iris is struggling to keep up. She's starting to get used to using crutches and finds it easier to maneuver around the soil. As long as she keeps most of the pressure off of her leg, she's fine. At least that's what Iris convinces herself. She doesn't need help, doesn't want it neither.

This was where Iris could stand her ground in a place she hadn't felt she belonged. In a place that she already knew she wasn't wanted. Weakness in a place that she was stuck in, already lost and confused, would mean being taken advantage of. She couldn't remember a time she felt so alone, but Iris was positive nothing else could top it while she was here.

"You'll meet a few of the Keepers later. After the Gathering, maybe even tomorrow" Jace pondered as they cross another patch of grass. "Alby and Newt, they don't really count. They're not Keepers, just the leader and second-in-command." He paused to glance over his shoulder. He noticed the faint, sour look on Iris's face and bit back a laugh. "I know Alby seems like a hardass, Greenbean. But that's what you have to be in a place like this."

"He doesn't think I'm meant to be here," Iris pointed out. She gazed across the field and wonderd if she thought the same about herself. "Whatever. He's nice enough to let me stay, call for a Gathering..."

Jace nodded. "Good that. They'll, uh, keep us posted. For now..."

They move together as Jace pointed and explains most of the designated spots around the Glade. Where Iris could find a spot to eat, use the bathroom, have breaks, and where they worked tirelessly to keep their new home afloat. Iris tried to keep a mental map drawn in her head to remember everything for when Day One ends and she's on her own.

She doesn't get a chance to meet a lot of the other boys. Jace isn't a protective shadow, but Iris sensed he holds a bit of concern that she'll be judged or cast aside. A major part of her that's still figuring out her place in the Glade wants to defend what isn't even there while the other half actually appreciates it. Newt was the first person Iris was fond of after opening her eyes and she supposed Jace could be a close second.

Iris wondered if a spot she could find here would start with one of the many jobs Jace takes time to describe. She doesn't need any medical knowledge to know it'll be a while before she can do anything with a lot of force due to her leg, but there's surely something for her here. They have rules there to be followed, and one of them included pulling your own weight. Iris couldn't bear much with an injury, but she refused to at the very least let it slow her down.

Two jobs that caught Iris's eye were the ones responsible for building and medical injuries. Jace had called them Builders and Med-jacks, but it'd take some time for Iris to gain the trust of the Gladers and recover from her wound before she was working alongside anyone anyway. She just hadn't wanted to seem useless. Iris figured she'd have to leave it up to the Keepers if they were the ones who kept everyone in line.

"It's funny you think so," Jace said after Iris voices her thoughts to him, that she feels as if being a Builder or Med-jack seemed to catch her attention the most. "Med-jacks... They're smart, right? Gotta remember a bunch of klunk to keep us alive. Have to figure out a lot more every time something new happens. But Builders?" Jace does laugh this time, a small bitter noise that almost makes Iris smile, "they're the Slintheads. Gally's a good Keeper, just not bright."

Iris squinted when they pass a particular spot that the sun shines the most over them. She tried to piece together what Jace is saying without being offended on behalf of his insulting words to the intelligence of the Builder members. "What - what's a..." Iris has to pause to remember. "Klunk?"

It's useless when Jace doesn't offer much of an explanation. He shook his head and uttered, "you're one of us, Greenbean. You'll have to talk like us too soon enough," before throwing a heavy arm over her shoulders in the same fashion Newt had but without the same grace, nearly knocking the girl off her feet, and guided her another way into a different direction. "Come on. I think I covered everything. We tried to set you up a room, you can take a rest - "

"Wait, wait," Iris stopped him. She sends a quick glimpse to the unbelievably tall, stone walls covered in curling vines. "You're a poor tour guide. You didn't show me everything. What about the walls? What's behind them?"

The air between the pair suddenly shifts and changes. Jace, who had turned from cold to inviting, had suddenly become distant again. He draws his arm back like the touch Iris radiated would burn anything in its way all because of the questioned that seemed so innocent, so simple. "You'll learn soon enough, alright?" Is the only answer Jace offered. "So, your room - "

"Hey, not good enough!" Iris suddenly snapped. She shifted her crutches forward so Jace had no choice but to look her in the eye. His head has to fall to do so. "If I'm going to be here for - for a long, long time th-then help me out here."

"Listen," Jace started. It's a low, quiet warning. "You won't like it out there, okay?" Iris opens her mouth at the words, offended, but he quickly cuts her off. "Not because you're a girl. It's not a - a girl thing. It's a the world outside of the Glade and into the Maze thing. Not a lot of people have the stomach for it. There's Runners, okay? They do. You'll find out more when you're ready just like the rest of us," Jace finished in a promise.

It's a hard pill to swallow. Iris has to do so quickly and the lump in her throat still feels like it's there, lingering. She's frustrated, desperately wants answers, and it almost feels like no one will give them to her just because she's a girl. She's not trustworthy. Iris, who is struggling to even know herself, lets it hurt like a pang to a heart that she knows is already a size too big.

There's not much she knows. But Iris is aware of one thing - she cares, a lot. Every beat her heart gives pulses with generosity. She wants to prove herself to a group of boys she may not know, may not even be fond of yet, and not for herself. Iris does so because she loves with everything in her.

She just has to prove it.

"Come on," Jace urged, "I'll show you to your room."

He waits patiently again for Iris to catch up with every step taken. It isn't only her leg holding her back this time. The weight of the words they shared is just as heavy as chains locking her to the Glade in what she only hoped wouldn't be forever.

"We weren't expecting a girl this month. Alby wanted us to move a cot in a safe place in the Homestead. Near where we keep our sick, in case you need something. Clint and Jeff will be close," Jace explained. "No slopes or levels. All on the first floor for you."

The Homestead Jace mentioned is a surprisingly well-built building that nearly disappears into a bundle of trees. It almost reminded Iris of an overly large treehouse, but to her surprise, there's a few corridors inside.

Iris blinked as she crossed the floorboards. As soon as she thinks of the word treehouse, the image and words immediately disappear from her mind.

She's guided to the end, a corner door that seems like it was recently stuck in. Iris worried it'll crumble completely when Jace gave it a simple push since it hadn't had a knob while she's hopeful it'll be enough. She slowly gives a swift kick of her leg to propel herself inside. It's something small, simple, a cot shoved into the corner, an open and empty crate, and a few other miscellaneous items to complete it.

"Med-jacks are pretty close. You'd just have to knock on the wall to get their attention in an emergency," Jace suggested. His face softens when he notices Iris scan the area. "Hey, Day One is the worst. Trust me, Greenie. It's smooth here on out. Trust me, you'll be okay."

Their different shades of brown eyes connect as something mutual passes between them. Iris doesn't know if Jace, who seemed so closed off while caring about his friends altogether, could ever consider her to be one of them. But she does know in that moment that Jace sees something in her that Alby didn't. She means no harm and she's just as afraid as every other Greenie they've had.

However, all Jace then supplied Iris with to support her thoughts is, "get some rest, Iris."

It's the first time Jace referred to Iris as her name. She noticed so and sees the hint of a smile he offered before finally leaving her alone. Iris tried to return it. It feels as if it's the first time she's actually smiled all day, a real smile.

Nothing awful really happened in Day One - other than when Iris woke up in a moving box without any memories and only a horrible wound that starts to ache all over again - but she still feels as if it's the worst when her head hits the pillow.

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author's note:

hi guys! it's been awhile! i hope no one forgot about me or iris 🥺

i literally have no idea where the inspiration hit me but i sat down for a good three hours and finished this chapter. it had been a little under half done for way too long. i was worried i might unpublish but alas, i would never.

anyways iris is certainly my baby, but meet my other babes jace!! he is the epitome of rough exterior & soft interior. they're about to be besties, i promise.

no flashbacks this chapter, but they'll come soon!! especially with the pattern of them!! i'm excited to receive more.

i think that's about it. i'm super sore today cause i finally had my mri scan for my bum leg then had to work a double, so, it's 3:30 am and i'm gonna go pass out. thank you for reading!!

- koda

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