CHAPTER FIFTY SIX , LIKE A FUCKING TRUCK

a/n : currently in my work's bathroom rn so I could post this chapter 🫶

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"She hasn't talked to anyone in 2 days."

Buck nervously paced back and forth. Eddie sets a beer on the table, "Okay, well, can you sit down and explain why you're worried about this?"

Buck then stops in his tracks and snaps his eyes over to Eddie as if the answer was obvious. But Eddie just blinks, waiting.

"Eddie, Emerson has things—a list she created that she has to complete everyday." The boy pronounces.

Eddie slightly tilts his chin up. "She always completes her lists."

"Right, even after losing Amaya. She had her own list to motivate her but now...I don't think she's even talking to her dad."

Eddie then nods his head, his back then straightens. He was starting to get worried himself. "What do we do?"

Buck rolls his lips into his mouth, thinking hard. "Last time we did an intervention, she quit." He begins to softly murmur to himself.

Eddie's eyes follow Buck out of disbelief. For a moment, he could've swore he saw Emerson herself standing in front of him instead of Buck.

"Maybe, you should talk to her."

Eddie blinks. He wasn't expecting that.

"I...wasn't expecting that."

Buck looks to the side. "I feel like hearing the same person talk can make the words less meaningless."

"Not if they're coming from the right person." Eddie smirks.

Buck's face gets hot. "I'm not...she doesn't think I'm the right person—I'm not the right person for her."

Eddie rolls his eyes with a small smile. "Trust me, Buck. You are."

Buck lets out a small breath and sits at the table across from Eddie. "Emery's been through a lot. And the last thing she's thinking about is if I'm the "right person" for her." He shakes his head. He felt like he was going insane right now. "So, why is that the only thing I think about everytime I look at her?"

Eddie smiles at the stress that was evident on Buck. "Well, I could tell you what I think, but it'll probably scare you."

Buck pulls his brows together and he slightly leans forward. "Wh-what is it? What do you have to say?"

Eddie sips his beer and chuckles. "You love her."

And just like that Eddie saw Buck's brain go into overdrive. Eddie lets out a soft breath. He leans forward and grabs Buck's unopened beer. He opens it and sets it back in front of Buck. "I told you it was gonna scare you—"

"I do love her."

Eddie stops and snaps his eyes over to Buck. "Wait..." he then pulls his brows together. "Did you just...say that?"

Buck blinks and looks at Eddie's shocked expression. "I mean, yeah! I thought we were confessing stuff or at least I was—"

"Look, I knew you loved her I just didn't think you would...admit it, y'know?" Eddie shrugs. "It's a shock since you're...you know. You."

Eddie didn't have to explain. Buck was famous for pushing someone away as soon as he felt an ounce of serious feelings. He would get afraid. Especially after Abby. But he felt anything but fear. Sure the feeling hit him like a fucking truck, but it also felt obvious in a way.

How could he have not noticed it before on his own?

"Are you gonna tell her?"

Buck's eyes widen and that was when he started feeling afraid. Eddie realizes the sudden look of fear now on Buck's face and he holds a hand up. "After she starts getting better, I mean."

Buck's nerves settle but he pulls his brows together, still in heavy thought over this. "I...don't know." He truthfully admits. "I just want her to be happy. Even if that's not with me."

Buck grabs his beer and sips it. Eddie presses his lips together and lets out a breath through his nose. "I'll talk to her."

Buck's eyes light up, "Seriously?"

Eddie chuckles, "I was always gonna talk to her, Buck. Even if you did say something."

☆

The silence helped Emerson think.

It sucks she couldn't do that by herself. When her dad wasn't at home, someone else was there with her. She couldn't get a second to herself unless she was in the bathroom or she went to her room to "sleep".

She wished that excuse could work today. But with her dad gone, Eddie was here. And the man was relentless to keep this girl talking.

"So, what's going on there?"

Emery pulls herself from her thoughts and refocuses on Eddie. She follows his eyes that were on the needle marks on her forearm. Emery bites the inside of her cheek and pulls her sleeve down. "They're still healing, I guess."

"You guess?"

Emery deadpans, "Why are you here, Eddie?"

"I can't see how you're doing?" Eddie questions.

Emery rolls her lips into her mouth. "I'm great." She bunches her shoulders. She wipes her nose with her sleeve. Eddie could feel her frustration rising. "Now you know how I'm doing, so there's the door." She stands up and begins to retreat back to her room.

Panic rises into Eddie. He quickly stands up and rounds the table. "Em, wait." He gently grabs her forearm.

Emery's skin crawls and she felt herself being pulled back into the barrel. With Tom's rotting skin against hers. She was going to be sick. "Don't." Emery shakily snaps.

Eddie quickly pulls his hand off of her. "Okay, I'm sorry."

Emery's breathing was quick and just from one glance, Eddie could tell she was thinking about that barrel. Eddie recognized the look of PTSD all too well and Emery was wearing it like second skin.

"Em, we don't even have to talk." Eddie holds his hands up. "We could just go out to eat—"

"N-No." Emery weakly speaks. "I...I don't—" her voice gets caught in her throat. Emery clears it and she shakes her head. "I don't want to go out—I can't."

Eddie nods his head, "Okay," his voice was gentle. It made Emery's breathing soften. "we can sit on the couch and just relax."

Emery wipes her upper lip. Her eyes shift to the couch and she inhales a shaky breath. The couch was safe to her. It was comfortable. Emery's chest untightens and her mind begins to defog. She could do that.

"Y-Yeah." Emery exhales softly. "We can sit..." she rubs her sweaty palm against her sweatpants.

Eddie presses his lips into a warm smile. He waits patiently while Emery walks over to the couch and sits down. Eddie sits on the other end of the couch. Emery knew Eddie had questions for her. Questions on the fresh marks on her forearm, why she hasn't been to physical therapy, and if she was really okay. Despite the heavy silence and the urge for questions. Emery felt herself begin to feel at ease with someone else in the room.

Despite the comfort he was giving her, Eddie couldn't stop that feeling of worry nagging at the back of his head. Emerson wasn't okay and it seemed like she didn't even want to get better.

...

Dinner was silent.

It's been like that a lot recently ever since Emery came back from the hospital. Elijah wasn't impatient with Emery's steps to healing though. He was giving her the time and space she needed. But judging from how she was after Eddie left. Elijah felt as if she needed a little nudge in the right direction.

"So...I saw Eddie leaving earlier."

Emery keeps her eyes on her food. "Yeah, he just wanted to see how I was doing."

Elijah nods, "That's nice of him."

"He's a nice guy." Emery replies, her eyes still glued to her food.

"He told me that Bobby wants to have you back."

Emery softly chuckles, but it just sounded like breath leaving her lips. "I don't see why. I won't be useful to him."

"On desk duty." Elijah adds.

"I can't write, dad." Emery holds up her right hand. "I'm right-handed."

"Emerson, he just wants you back in the environment of where you're going to be most of the time."

Emery tightens her grip around her fork. "People keep...rushing me on my healing." She scoffs. "What happened to slow and steady?"

"They just miss you—"

"They visit me every second of everyday—how can they miss me? It's to the point I can't get a second to breathe." Emery's voice was sharp. Her phone vibrates and she glances at it. The girl inhales through her nose and stands up with her plate. "I've gotta go."

Elijah blinks, "Okay, well, where are you going?"

"I'm not 15, dad." Emery snaps.

"No. But you are someone who just got kidnapped." Elijah states. Emery sets her plate in the sink and hangs her head low. "I'm going over to Wren's. To talk."

Elijah relaxes. At least she's willingly talking to someone. "All right, well. Do you need me to drive you?"

Emery shakes her head, "I'll Uber. Don't worry." She walks over to her father and kisses him on the cheek. "Just get some rest, okay?"

Elijah goes to give Emery a comforting squeeze of her hand but she retracts herself from him before he could. Emery grabs her bag and walks out of the apartment.

☆

"No, she hasn't come to see me..."

Elijah closes his eyes and exhales a soft breath through his nose. He knew by the way Emery left that she was keeping something from him. So, after a couple of hours of her being gone, he decided to call Wren.

But she had no clue that Emery said anything about meeting up with her. Elijah understood Emery wanted her space, but he didn't understand why she had to lie about it.

Wren takes the silence over the phone as worry for the girl. Her spine straightens and her body begins to feel cold. "Mr. Sharpe, is everything okay?"

Elijah refocuses, "Yeah, I just...I think I might be going into one of my overbearing dad moments right now." He rubs his forehead and lets out a small laugh.

Wren bites the inside of her cheek and runs her thumbnail across the pads of her other fingers. "Mr. Sharpe...your daughter just went through something traumatic." She softly speaks. "Not only that, you were waiting for Emery to come home only to find out she..." Wren quiets her words and a lump slowly begins to form in her throat. The thoughts of rescuing Emery and seeing her in the barrel with Tom would always cause Wren to stop in her tracks. She couldn't even imagine what was going through Emery's head every day since then.

"You deserve to worry about her, sir." Wren continues. "Don't doubt that for a second. No matter what she says. She's always been eager to be left alone, even when she didn't need it." She chuckles. "Ever since we were kids."

Elijah stays silent for a moment. "You might know her more than me on that aspect." He forces out a chuckle, but the guilt weighed heavy on him. Wren breathes softly, "You're doing the best you can now, sir."

"And I know Emery knows that too." Wren shrugs. "Just talk to her about being worried about her pulling away. She'll know that you mean well."

"She'll know that I mean well, but the question is will she still yell at me." Elijah rubs the back of his neck.

Wren presses her lips together. "Knowing Emery, she'll be annoyed no matter what. But, she'll understand that you mean well."

Even though Elijah was grateful for the words of reassurance, he still couldn't help but feel like this conversation with his daughter wouldn't end in the way he wanted.

...

Emerson felt like a child—creeping through her own apartment so her dad wouldn't catch her coming home so late. But she didn't want to be interrogated on why she was gone for so long. Emery figured her father had already called Wren by now and found out the truth.

Emery's sneakers pad across the hardwood floor. Her bag was over her shoulder and she could hardly keep her eyes open. It felt as if her body was moving on her own. Was this current moment even real?

Before she could get to her room, the light had flicked on. Emery flinches from the sudden light hitting her eyes. She pinches the bridge of her nose and squeezes her eyes shut.

"Emerson..."

A small groan comes from her throat. "Oh, god..."

She pulls her hand off her nose and opens her eyes, meeting her dad's gaze and someone else's. "Wren, what are you doing here? It's—"

"—2 in the morning." Wren folds her arms. "I know, your dad called me."

Emery lets out a soft breath of disbelief. "Okay?"

"Em, where have you been?"

Emery sniffles and lifts her head up to the ceiling. "Uh...hanging out with Wren."

Elijah folds his arms and raises his brows while Wren looks to the side.

"Wanna try that again?" Elijah sighs.

Emery snorts and she looks to the side. "Okay, I get it. You know that I wasn't hanging out with Wren." She holds her hands up. "I'm kind of tired so, I think I'm just gonna head to bed—"

"And you're not gonna tell us where you were?"

Emery hangs her head low. "Dad, seriously?" She turns to her father with a pointed expression. "I'm old enough to make my own decisions,"

Wren's stomach clenches from the look Emery was sending her father.

"I understand that—"

"I pay my own rent, I'm old enough to plan your future funeral! Why do you have to worry so much?!"

Elijah raises his brows with an incredulous expression. "Why do I worry so much?" He softly chuckles. "Emerson, I'm your father and you were just kidnapped. I'm sorry if I'm a little on edge about your whereabouts."

Emery's shoulders sag and she looks to the side. Her chest tightens out of guilt. Emery was the one who got kidnapped—yes. But her kidnapping also sent her family and friends into panic and the fact she forgot about it made her feel terrible. "Sorry..." Emerson lets out. She covers her face for a moment to gather herself. Her breathing came out as shudders.

Elijah noticed a few scabs across the back of her arms, but he assumed that it was from her healing injuries.

Emery drops her food hand to her side. "I'm sorry. I've just..." she inhales a deep breath and holds it. "You guys have every right to worry about me."

"I told you that I was hanging out with Wren, but—obviously that wasn't true." She motions her hand to her friend. Emery shifts her eyes to the side out of embarrassment. Her stomach was clenched and she could hardly see out of her own tears. Emery knew that once she revealed where she was, she would then have to explain why. And just the thought of that made her nervous.

"I was at the grocery store."

"This whole time?" Elijah asks with furrowed brows. "Why?"

Emery bites her lower lip. "I..." she swallows. "I work there now."

Wren pulls her brows together. Emerson sits on the couch and wraps her good arm around herself, hoping to bring comfort in any way possible.

"Why did you start working there?" Wren's tone was soft. "Bobby said—"

"I know what Bobby said." Emery lifts her eyes. Her glassy eyes meet Wren's soft worried ones. "I know."

Wren pulls her brows together. She recognized that scared look in Emery's eyes. It was the same one she always had in high school when she was terrified to speak her own mind. "You...don't want to be a firefighter anymore?"

Emery picks at her fingernails. And she looks back down with shame. She had confirmed it without saying anything.

Elijah never thought he would hear those words. Not from Emerson. It didn't feel real.

"Emery, but you love being a firefighter." Elijah speaks.

Emery exhales a quick breath and inhales a deep shaky one. "I love being alive, dad." Her teary brown eyes meet her father's. "And I have not only experienced so many near death experiences at this job, but I lost a lot of amazing people because of it too."

"Emerson—"

"I'm scared." Emery chokes out. "I'm scared to go back." She runs a hand over her bun. "What if—what if something happens? I can't..." her breathing begins to quicken and her chest painfully tightens. Tears begin to roll down her cheeks. Elijah's heart drops and he quickly makes his way over to his daughter. He sits beside her and grabs her hand.

"Hey, Emerson. I need you to breathe."

Emery pulls her eyes away from her dad. "No—" she pulls her hand from her father's. "I sh-shouldn't even be here!"

"Emerson, that's ridiculous." Elijah shakes his head, his own eyes filling with tears. It hurt him hearing his daughter speak like this.

"T-Tom..." Emery gasps out.

"Tom loved you." Elijah whispers. "And he would disagree with everything that you're saying."

Emery shakes her head. "I can't...I can't do this a-anymore."

Wren covers her mouth when Elijah pulls Emery into a strong embrace.

☆

Wren hadn't left Emery's apartment. She was currently sitting on Emery's bed with her legs crossed. Emery was also sitting cross-legged with her good hand holding a mug and her eyes on her bed. Wren bites the inside of her cheek and lightly taps her fingers against her legs. "Have you...talked to Dr. Martin about how you feel?"

Emery doesn't say anything. But she does tense and takes a sip of her tea. Emery lowers her mug from her lips. "No." she softly speaks. "I'm not seeing him anymore."

Wren's shoulders sink. "Em--"

"I know." Emery sighs. "If I'm not talking to him I should talk to someone."

Emery wipes her nose and sets her mug on the nightstand. "Wren, this is a lot to ask." she looks at her friend. Wren tenses.

"You can't tell anyone about what I said." Emery's voice comes out with a soft plead.

Wren slightly opens her mouth. "You want me to just keep it to myself that you admitted to not wanting to be alive?"

"I'm not going to kill myself," Emery says. "I just need to figure my shit out. Without anyone else, all right?"

"Does that mean talking to Dr. Martin? If you talk to Dr. Martin, then I won't say anything." Wren folds her arms, standing firm on her decision.

Emery exhales a soft breath. "This is pissing me off," She rubs the inner corner of her eye. "so this must mean that it's for my own good."

The corner of her mouth twitches. "All right, I'll talk to Dr. Martin again."

"That's my girl." Wren breaks out into a smile.

Emery softly huffs and looks to the side. Wren's eyes trail down to the scabs across Emery's arms. Emery could feel Wren's eyes burning into her, so she pulled her sleeves down. She looks back at Wren, "You can stay here tonight, if you want. I know it's late—"

Wren shakes her head. "No, you should get your sleep without me bothering you." She softly chuckles and stands up from the bed. Emery lets out a soft breath and her chest tightens as Wren grabs her purse.

"Hey, Em?"

Emery looks at Wren, who had a soft look of worry across her face. "You can tell me if you need help, you know that right? Even if it was for the smallest bug that needed killing. You can call me."

Emery presses her lips into a small line. "Thanks, Wren."

The brunette gives her friend a small smile and walks out of the room. Emery's face falls and her eyelids lower while a small breath of fear escapes her lips.

☆

"My friends are worried about me."

Dr. Martin tilts his head. He wasn't expecting Emery to show up at her scheduled session today. That's only because she has not only been cancelling on him. But it seemed as though she was M.I.A. with everyone else.

"Should they be?"

Emery scratches her forearm. "Yeah, sure. I'm still dealing with what happened and they're still dealing with it themselves too."

Dr. Martin stays silent for a moment. His eyes shift down to Emery's bandaged arm. She still hadn't revealed the scarring of Joe's name in her arm to anyone. It's not like anyone blamed her.

Emery could feel Dr. Martin's eyes on her arm and one again her face heated up with embarrassment. She pulls her arm back and slips her jacket on. "I think I want to talk to Bobby about my job at the 118."

Dr. Martin raises his brows. "All good things I hope?"

Emery presses her lips together. "Good for me."

"Would you like me to schedule it? I'm supposed to be going by the station anyway to discuss the quarterly counseling sessions with the station anyway."

"Yeah, that would help me a lot actually. Thank you so much."

Dr. Martin raises his brows from Emery's change of attitude. It should've made him ease his worry for her. But it was the quite opposite. Emery inhales a breath and a smile spreads across her lips. "How's life going for you?"

Dr. Martin softly laughs. There would be times when Emery would ask about himself. Normally, he would tell her he wasn't able to discuss his personal life. But he also knew Emery always felt more comfortable sharing when he shared pieces of his life.

"Well, Ethan and I've been discussing expanding our family."

Emery's eyes light up. For the first time in a while she seemed to genuinely be happy. "Wait, seriously?" She slightly leans forward.

Dr. Martin nods his head. "Yeah."

Emery pulls her brows together and blinks. "Wait. We are talking about kids, right? And I mean, infant children. Not dogs or cats." She then touches her chest. "And I personally do consider dogs and cats as actual kids, despite some people's beliefs."

"I mean infant children. Yes." Dr. Martin nods his head.

Emery smiles, "Well, that's great. You and Ethan are going to make amazing parents, y'know?"

"Even so, I can't help but wonder if I can fill that void," Dr. Martin lifts his gaze and meets Emery's eyes. "of the missing piece in that kid's life."

Emery bites the inside of her cheek and lightly scratches her wrist—hoping to distract herself from her own similar nagging thoughts. "I don't think you have to fill any void." She admits. "Just be there for the kid as much as you can be. And be patient with them. Of course they're going to be a little trouble at first, but that's kind of a given."

Emery rolls her lips into her mouth. "When I saw Dylan...he looked at me as if I was the embodiment of the worst moment of his life." She shakes her head. "And when I look at my arm." She motions to her hand in the black brace. "I think the same thing."

"I'm worthless."

"Bobby wants you back, Emerson."

Emery inhales a shaky breath and fear settles into her chest. She was praying Dr. Martin couldn't tell she was terrified to go back to work.

"They all do. Whether you think so or not."

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author's note.

we're wrapping up this storyline cus I have such bad writer's block for this storyline and I just want to get to other parts of the story (I JUST WANT TO WRITE EMIBUCK AGAIN OMLLL)

words : 3971