This book is literally all about angst. Just a warning. I don't hold back either. You could say this book was an exaggererated sense of problems I had before. I promise I'm okay, really! I'm fine, but I think this book is just a way of how I used to feel before. Of course, this story is not an actual depiction to how I felt before, but it represents what I felt. This book means a lot to me, and has been in progress since April 2020. This book is depressing as hell, and traumatic. It contains unhealthy content that I suggest not to do. Please get help if you are depressed. 

And I beg of you: 

PLEASE LOOK AWAY IF DEPRESSION, SUICIDE, RAPE, BLOOD, SELF-HARM, ETC., TRIGGERS YOU. DELETE THIS BOOK FROM YOUR LIBRARY, PLEASE JUST DO NOT READ THIS BOOK. THIS BOOK IS MATURE FOR A REASON. VIOLENCE AND GORE ARE INCLUDED, AS WELL AS POSSIBLE SMUT/LEMON/ANY SEXUAL CONTENT.

Now if you have gotten past the warning sign, let's continue onto the book.

I upload slow. I'm sorry, I really am, but like I'm trying. School just doesn't allow me to write as much as I want. Ah welp-

Also this book is a slow burn, it is an extremely slow paced romance because of the angst. Majority of the beginning is learning of the two main character's backstories and past interaction with one another. It isn't until the second part of the book that they actually interact. 

Extra Note: This book has been editted multiple times, including this Author's Notes. Some comments may not make sense. I used to have set up an interactive thing where readers could theorize on what was going to happen next and things about the characters, but I decided to scrap it because I found no use of it after the first part. If you would like to theorize for youself, please sure your thoughts in the comments or in my private messages in consideration of the following questions: What happened to Y/N's past? What did she mean in the letter mentioned in Shota's dream?  How were Y/N's and Shota's relationships in the past broken, and what event caused this? 

If you are interested in my works, you can check out other works in my Wattpad, or in Tumblr, under the same user, edgelordcreator. Do not forget to vote and comment to share your thoughts and give me feedback on my work, I'm always trying to improve. 

now you may proceed to the next chapter

6/15/21 edit:

I realize that I may have put words like "blush". It is not to offend or exclude the black community. Blush in this context means of "the warming of cheeks." If I wrote something like "Y/N blushed red" please point it out to me so I can edit it. Thank you.